AIBU to be creeped out by my interviewer

[Peregrine93]

Hello,

I am a long time mumsnet lurker but finally made an account to get some advice.

I am a single mum going back to work and finally managed to get an interview and got offered the job during the interview which is amazing but I got a creepy vibe and I’m not sure what to do or if I’m overreacting?

It seems a really great job and I even got offered over the advertised salary so would love to be able to accept it.

It’s an part time office assistant role. It’s walkable for me which is great and they indicated they can be very flexible for child care and they have great benefits with good holiday.

The creepy bits. It was just an interview with one man who is older maybe mid 50s.

When I came in he said “please sit down your back must be hurting you”.

I also caught him staring at my chest a lot during the interview. I do have large breasts so unfortunately I’m used to this but it seems very inappropriate to do that during the interview and I felt a bit uncomfortable.

He said he would love to offer me above the advertised salary because he thinks I would be a great fit for the company and he would love to see me around the office.

When I left he put his hand at the top of my bottom as I was leaving.

I’m so frustrated because I would really like to take the job but don’t know if I’m just overreacting or if he was being inappropriate.

Please any advice welcome x

It seems we all agree that women absolutely shouldn’t have to put up with this to either get a job or keep a job.

We are then split by “avoid” (don’t take the job) or “stand up for yourself” (numerous actions everyone is suggesting to put up boundaries).

There do seem to be a very few saying “put up with it”, which I just cannot wrap my head around.

OP, my concern is : what makes you think you are going to turn into the “stand up for yourself” type person, when you were a “put up with it” person at interview?

No one seems to be talking about how incredibly difficult it is to put all these strategies into action (except the person who mentioned the instinctive fight/flight responses are so ingrained).

It was much easier to have stood up to this man at interview. You were an independent individual then, had no previous relationship, he had no power over you, not your boss/ director of your company, not in control of your next reference, not in control of your income.

It’s all very well typing out all the pre-rehearsed quips, put downs, physical actions, calling lawyers/unions etc. but in practice it is so hard to put into action.

I wish you good luck OP and hope you can change how this man behaves in his own company, but please keep looking for a new job.

Wait, so you are taking a job with someone you know wants to sexually harass you, who you think it will be impossible to report? Jesus wept! And how long do you think your position will last if refuse to comply?