DS speeding

[Tilllly]

Twat that he is got pulled over doing 50 in a 40. Sat in back of police car etc
So now he'll have 9 points - already done a speed awareness course

Told us in the family chat and he and DH were all laddish about it and joking he'll have to get a bike if he's caught again

I wasn't. I told him he wasn't "unlucky" he was reckless. That if he killed or injured someone, he'd go to prison. He'd lose his job, home, everything
I reminded him of a little girl killed locally in the summer by a speeding driver
I said he was arrogant thinking his time was more important than the safety of pedestrians and other drivers- speed limits are there for this reason

Hes sulking and DH said I've over reacted

I don't think I have. This isn't a one off. He'd 30 years old and a medic. It's inexcusable

He's been caught four times? (Well, clearly he has, if he has done a course and has 9 points).

I'm with you, OP. Nothing 'minor' about that. Getting the odd ticket because your speed creeps up and you didn't realise is one thing, but you learn from that, surely, and don't do it again. The repeated nature of this suggests pure (and very unpleasant) arrogance. I'd be extremely disappointed in him if he were mine, and I'd be making that clear. He's sulking because he knows you're right.

YANBU and your son and husband are arses. Oh well it’s his licence on the line. Sometimes it’s the only way these people learn.

YANBU

If he's been caught 4 times in 2 years he's clearly not learnt his lesson and doesn't care for keeping to the speed limits. Surprised a medic has such disregard for speed limits - has he never dealt with a car crash?

Your DHs jokes are normalising it, I don't think you're overreacting - it's not a first time offence that warrants a bit of ribbing and a lesson learnt, he's a repeat offender. It's only so long before he either loses his license (especially if he's already been caught every 6 months!) or causes an accident imo.

This is completely irrelevant, but how did the person reporting him know he was doing 50mph and if he wasn't clocked on police radar, how would he be getting points on his licence? Or, is the police response in your village super quick?🤔

Yanbu. Him and his dad are dangerous idiots. I'd have been livid too.

Hope your children are safe from speeding drivers.

Someone so seemingly stupid and arrogant should be banned for life. He’s clearly incapable of learning.
And your husband is a disgrace for finding it amusing.

I think a speed limited is more dangerous.

I switched spellcheck off on my kindle but it still autocorrects!
Speed limiter

he is sulking because he knows you are right op
i hope he gets better, for everyone's sake

Buy him an advanced driver course (IAMroadsmart are reasonable), it will get him to see the error of his way. I’m sure

Maybe when he comes to renew his insurance it’ll focus his mind a bit. Mine has gone up by £200 and nothing has changed in my circumstances - just cost of living - so God only knows how much it would rise with 9 points.

No she did NOT.

10mph can mean the difference between survival and death.

It means another 15ft of ground covered every second, shortening the distance between "obstacles" quicker and increasing the stopping distance.

There is NOWHERE someone needs to be so quickly that it's worth risking killing someone else.

And that can happen in a second, all it takes is a tyre to burst or a child to run out.

Around here it's the police that do most of the speeding. I know they do when it's needed usually with lights and/or siren but normally I'd expect them to stick to the limits same as everyone else. DH usually says they're rushing back to the station before their chips go cold, which probably makes it an emergency.

I agree with you OP but he's 30 and a medic. He's more than old enough to know better or to deal with the consequences of his actions. I'd let him get on with it and learn the hard way tbf.

Yep, he’ll definitely be sulking when he renews his insurance.

TBH it does sound OTT - it’s his life, his fuck up and has no bearing on you.

Let him carry on and get himself a ban, roads will be safer without him anyway

"Its a very minor speeding offence."

Yeah, use that as a defence if you kill someone.

DS is sulking because he has been caught yet again and, as a medic who has very possibly had to help deal with the aftermath of car crashes, he knows you are actually right.

Well, he'd better start getting it right, hadn't he!? If he loses his licence then it could well become very difficult for him to do his job. Or maybe the only way he is going to learn that lesson is the hard way - hopefully without killing or maiming anyone.

You are definitely not overreacting. Ram the point home, tell him how disappointing his behaviour and nonchalance is, and let him sulk.

As for laddish DH, he is a complete twat and I would be telling him that, even if he too sulked at me over it.

I assumed this was going to be about a 17 year old. Not a 30 year old professional. As a medic, your DS should understand that while risk taking behaviours are higher in young males, by 30 he should have grown up. (neurodiversity aside).

I would be looking at what is driving the risk taking. It's particularly concerning that the arrogant so and so thinks he can drive to what he thinks the speed limits should be, instead of what they are. Please tell me he's not a surgeon?

People who think going 10mph over the speed limit is 'not a big deal' should look at this...

https://www.roadwise.co.uk/using-the-road/speeding/the-chance-of-a-pedestrian-surviving/

https://www.roadwise.co.uk/using-the-road/speeding/

Breaking the speed limit, or driving too fast for the conditions on the road, contributes to more than 720 deaths and 4,550 injuries in the UK every year.
The latest statistics published by the government show that, in 2013, exceeding the speed limit was reported as a factor in 15 percent of fatal crashes on the UK’s roads. When you add travelling too fast for the weather conditions (13%) to this, the figure rises to 28 percent. (Data from Road Casualties Great Britain: 2013 page 200).

If people won't think of safety others, tell your son this story. A boy at our college was a speeding driver, I got into a car with him driving just once, refused to ever again. 5 years later he, his passengers and 2 women in an oncoming car died in a car crash. He was speeding. It didn't surprise me at all.

If that story doesn't persuade how about this one. I once met an ex-police officer who'd had to change career due to serious injury. He had been attending a road traffic accident, when a speeding driver came hurtling along the road at over 100mph. The driver was unable to stop to avoid the accident site. He smashed into the group, instantly killing himself and 2 police officers, and seriously injuring others.

Still think it's OK to speed, a harmless bit of slight naughtiness and something to joke about? You didn't overreact OP, he wouldn't be laughing if he'd hit a child running out into the road. Speeding should be as socially unacceptable as drink-driving, and I think more people should start to call it out.

No point him using cruise control, it's not accidental, he's speeding because he thinks it's ok - the road shld be a 50, being his rationale this time

People like him shouldn't have a license.

He is a dangerous driver because of his attitude.

People with that attitude are the ones who ruin people's lives on the road.

Selfish, selfish eejits.

He'll feel it a bit more when his next insurance renewal comes around. If he doesn't fix his speeding and loses his licence for a while, the cost of insurance after a ban will certainly make his eyes water.

I don't think you overreacted. Your son has decided that speed laws don't apply to him and that his unwillingness to be patient and drive 10mph slower is more important than anything else. He's being an idiot and at 30 should know better. He is going to sorely regret it if his license is suspended.