To leave 16 and nearly 14 year old at home alone two nights?

[HowNice23]

I have to go away when my children would normally be at their dads but he may be in the same position of having to go away so we may have a bit of a problem. It's a Friday night til Sunday night situation so they wouldn't have to worry about getting out to school or whatever they could just chill like they usually do, I could leave a full fridge etc.

Not something I've ever done but it strikes me they are probably old enough and I don't think they'd be too phased. But I feel unsure...

YANBU - don't worry about it just leave the fridge full
YABU - I wouldn't for X or Y reasons.

I'm really finding the debate interesting. I think I will ask their dad to think a bit creatively about it. He's not got support network in terms of local friends like I have but there is family at his end within closer distance than mine. I do generally just pick up slack for easy life although he's swapped things around for me.

I would be absolutely astonished if either of them organised or threw a party, and possibly quite impressed (light-hearted comment).😂ok yes I might live to regret that comment...

Oh yes, my mother has never quite recovered from mine. She still wheels it out every now and then. I was a nerd that was doing a Sandy that evening and breaking out of my good daughter shackles 🕺

If I felt they were mature/responsible enough then I would.

Maybe I just lock away the good glassware and let them rip!

...

Come home to bins out

And a strangely wet but clean carpet. You will be pouring friends a
water on ice for many years before anyone realised there is no actual gin in the bottle. Your pets may need therapy.

If they make it through the experience unlike my friends rabbits that drowned in the pool.

@Lastchancechica that made me laugh.

Oohh @Lastchancechica that went south quite quickly and now my comments make it look about the rabbits 😭

The 16 year old is okay, but the 13 year old is too young

Late to the thread but...
'Nearly 14' is 13. So you'd be leaving a sixteen-year-old with the responsibility for a 13 -year-old for two nights. Unreasonable.
Get a babysitter or a relative to stay with them.

Would you leave the younger one on their own? Mine two have a similar age gap and I only left them together on their own when I felt I’d be happy with the younger one being left ie the older one wasn’t in charge of the younger one. Mine do get on well together as well but I didn’t want one to be responsible for the other,

A 16 year old parent with a baby is very different (physically exhausting) to a 16 year old sibling of a 13 year old - compliance, etc.
I wouldn't. But mine would have killed each other or done stupid things.

Sorry! I probably shouldn’t have added the rabbits 🐰 I am still sad about it which is pathetic as it was 32 years ago!

I will say one thing perhaps, I guess it is affecting my posting. We all had ‘hands off’ parents and it was a disaster.

The rabbits, other kids having under age sex, the trashing of our family home and my friends family homes, the drinking, someone was glassed outside, 150 kids turned up. I have hideous memories of us teens being ‘trusted’ and it was a bit scary. We needed adults on hand in the distance for when things went wrong.

We grew up in a lovely area with liberal parents.

Absolutely I take on board your comments, thank you X Having teenagers definitely makes you reflect on those experiences for better or worse.

This is a really good approach because it might be the younger child having to deal with the older one cutting themselves badly or slipping in the bathroom and knocking themselves out....

The near 14 year old more conservative in a way. In terms of setting his alarm for the morning etc. The 16 year old just wants to be left to game and chill. Neither particularly present a risk. As people are saying though, it's not about them necessarily it's about my or our parenting

We left our dds at those sorts of ages to go to a wedding in Stockholm for 4 nights. They were fine, but we knew they were pretty sensible, and there were people they could call if there had been any emergency.

We left our two (then 17 and 14) for two nights in the spring. We alerted a couple of neighbors, whom we’re close to, and made sure they had a plenty of food and some emergency money. They were fine, al though apparently DD was very strict and DS called to complain that she was nagging him about doing the washing-up and tidying his room in a timely manner. etc. 😂

I left mine for two nights at this age. I’m a single mum & their dad never has them overnight. Mine were fine, I left food and money and they had my number. I kept an eye on the ring doorbell in case of parties…

I’ve left mine and are leaving them again, one slightly older and one slightly younger. They were absolutely fine. Made sure they had food, some extra cash. Family not too far away and close neighbours all aware. Ring doorbell to check for extra visitors but we set the rule, no more then one friend over at a time and they stuck to it.

My DDs are the same ages, and I'd leave them home alone for a couple of nights if there was no alternative, but my DM is 10 minutes away so could pop over in an emergency. I'm not 100% sure they'd feel safe alone at night would be my only real concern, there's no way they'd have a party if we told them not to!

My DSis and I lived alone for more than a year when I was 15/16 and she was 2 years younger. Single parent DM was hospitalised, and so we just had to muddle through. We were a lot wilder than my DDs though, so there were lots of boys and booze!

I think if your DC feel comfortable alone for a couple of days, you can trust them not to trash the place or kill each other, and you have a friendly neighbour or someone who they can call on in an emergency, then I'd go for it.

My point was that sixteen year olds are perfectly capable of raising children, running households and working.

I got your point, that's exactly what I was addressing. That many, many aren't.

In Scotland you can get married at 16, and leave school, go to work. Surelely 16 is fine! Depends if the younger one will behave!

That's incorrect info. England is different to Scotland, you can get married at 16 here, ie,Gretna Green, and if able to go to work all week, surely able to manage at home! Or should be!