To think all imminent parents should be given free training on how child and teen brains develop, change and work?

[JFDIYOLO]

This is a really interesting article on the massive changes adolescent brains go through between 11 and 18.

It explains why brain changes can make it so hard for teens to get to sleep early - and get up early for school.

And how the bits of the brain develop at different rates - so the bits that govern decision making and future planning and consequences are temporarily less developed than the bits that want excitement NOW.

I often think it's connected to how humans might have only lived into their twenties in prehistoric times so nature is priming us to fight / hunt / breed NOW to keep the species going, which is why risky and rebellious behaviour happens at that stage.

And if parents had insights into why their newly teen child seems to have turned into a stranger, it's because they kind of have - a new person navigating the world with an evolving brain.

(I loved that film Inside Out, set inside a child's brain, and the end where a shiny new console is delivered with a big button marked Puberty 😁).

I think it would help parents hugely to understand why their teen behaves in such incomprehensible and trying ways.

https://www.fife.gov.uk/kb/docs/articles/education2/supporting-children-in-school/educational-psychology-service/teenagers-brains-and-behaviour

And who is going to pay for it ?

No training here, just memories of my dm making an utter pigs ear of it, and of being miserable and isolated from 12-18.

I find empathy, listening, paying attention, consulting the teen on what they would like and making sure they know you will always fight their corner when necessary generally works. Plus a fair amount of biting ones tongue.

I wish we did. That said I paid for NCT classes and they were rubbish so it would have to be good training. I also think it’s weird that health visitors stop checking in on you after your kid gets to a certain age… like maybe we need help with older kids too lol

I absolutely agree!
I did find MN really helpful with regards to this, plus as PP say my own experience.
However, reading some posts about people's suggestions as to how to handle teenage children I think the more the word can be spread the better!

A nationwide training programme feels a bit heavy handed and I am dubious about how broadly parents would engage even if it were provided.

Parents could probably just pick up a book on the subject for a few quid If they wanted to know more. If something really had to be done, some bullets on the NHS website ought to do the trick.

The info has been known for ages. You might have only just come across it, but don't assume no-one else has.

It's readily available, for those who want to look for it specifically, and it's also mentioned in numerous articles and parenting books, and is commonly mentioned on sites such as this one.

So, no I don't think there should be tax-payer funded training on this.

There is endless free information in books and on the internet. Parents who can be bothered will read it. Others won't.
Same as pet owners, drivers, and so on.

I think a really good comprehensive TV series that parents could be directed to would be great. Going through the anatomy and physiology, emotional changes and most importantly how best to deal with it. I work with teenagers and absolutely love them but am nervous for when I have my own. It’s a minefield!

Yes! I did some research and it was so interesting, also how young teens go through another period of learning like toddlers, so there's hope to change habits /attitudes even at 11+

I find empathy, listening, paying attention, consulting the teen on what they would like and making sure they know you will always fight their corner when necessary generally works. Plus a fair amount of biting ones tongue.

@MintJulia I’m the same as you. It’s very simple even if it’s not always easy to parent a teen.

A Fife article 🤣

It's definitely an article needed in Fife right enough.

If parents gave a shit about how their child is developing (at any age) they would be doing their own research.

As it is, most people are lazy and would rather muddle through struggling than put in a bit of effort to make their lives easier.

I could cry that Sure Start centres are no longer around. They were invaluable for helping the clueless, such as I was, understand child development, growth, SEN and were just a warm, friendly, un-threatening place to learn.

This information is readily available. I don't think most people would want or need actual training when they can just read an article or a book.

I do want to say while good information is readily available so is a lot of bad information and many parents-to-be cannot know the difference.

We are past the point where the internet is a great well of knowledge. It is now an ocean of chaos.

No, I haven't only just come upon it; as a learning and development consultant understanding brain function is part of my business.

My point is in response to so many despairing parents at their wits' end over their teens' incomprehensible behaviour - they and their children could have been spared and prepared with some early training and understanding; especially if young themselves.

You wouldn't hand a non driver a car and say there you go, you'll work it out as you go along.

Is it included in school, for starters? - 'The brain: an owner's manual'!

And maybe one of those little booklets you can pick up at the doctor's and the chemist, like the ones on cancer and bereavement etc.

Online resources health visitors and midwives could point new parents to ... although extra things to do at that stage might not be practical ...

No, they should choose to read a book on it like any other subject that might be relevant to them. Training everyone on everything can't be done!

@GotMooMilk I'd LOVE to see a TV series on it!

I don't think that teaching new parents about teenagers would help tbh. It's so far away, you'd forget most of it.
A really good website with videos etc would be great. There is a lot of information out there, but it's hard to know what's good and what's grifters talking rubbish.

One of the biggest ‘problems’ during adolescence is that the pre-frontal cortex is still catching up with the (essentially fully grown) ‘prehistoric brain’.

It explains why teenagers make daft decisions and have poorer impulse control than adults.

I agree with PP that a really good TV programme about adolescent brains would be a start. It could also cover neurodivergence, and non-typical brains. It might also go some way to mitigating the push to make life-changing, body-altering decisions before the age of 25.

@BlueRabbitYellow they all still around! Children’s centres or family hubs now and they all offer parenting courses that cover just this stuff. Worth looking at your local authority website.

No need to spend any money to access a wealth of information on child and teenage brain development. Downloading the Press Reader app via your local library details would give access to loads of free scientific articles/newspaper articles on this topic.

I'm a health visitor and we do promote this at each contact. I don't know if it's just a trustwide thing but we give a link to a series of evidence based online courses understanding your baby understanding your teenager understanding your special needs child etc

I also believe that an awareness of how teenagers (not just ND teenagers) ‘mask’ is important. I’m a teacher, and so many parents don’t recognise my description of their lovely kids in my lessons. Parents need to know that a certain amount of decompression and irritability at home is the logical side-effect of behaving well in every other setting.