To think all imminent parents should be given free training on how child and teen brains develop, change and work?

[JFDIYOLO]

This is a really interesting article on the massive changes adolescent brains go through between 11 and 18.

It explains why brain changes can make it so hard for teens to get to sleep early - and get up early for school.

And how the bits of the brain develop at different rates - so the bits that govern decision making and future planning and consequences are temporarily less developed than the bits that want excitement NOW.

I often think it's connected to how humans might have only lived into their twenties in prehistoric times so nature is priming us to fight / hunt / breed NOW to keep the species going, which is why risky and rebellious behaviour happens at that stage.

And if parents had insights into why their newly teen child seems to have turned into a stranger, it's because they kind of have - a new person navigating the world with an evolving brain.

(I loved that film Inside Out, set inside a child's brain, and the end where a shiny new console is delivered with a big button marked Puberty 😁).

I think it would help parents hugely to understand why their teen behaves in such incomprehensible and trying ways.

https://www.fife.gov.uk/kb/docs/articles/education2/supporting-children-in-school/educational-psychology-service/teenagers-brains-and-behaviour

I did have training - because we adopted and did a course on parenting and the challenges that it will bring over the years.

Even so nothing prepared me for the sheer hell of parenting teenagers. I've done a parenting course recently as my DD is being extremely challenging. Her school referred us to early help and the result was that the support worker booked us on this course.

I engaged with the course and did all my homework and made changes to my parenting style ( being more assertive , setting boundaries etc). Unfortunately it made her worse as she fought against these "new" methods and then started self harming.

What is actually needed is more mental health support for children and teens. DD had been on the waiting list for a psychiatric assessment for 18 months before she started self harming. Cahms took 6 months to respond to an urgent referral from her school by which time we'd been forced to go private.

On the parenting course I was on , all of the children of the participants had some sort of mental health issue and all were at their wits end because of the lack of mental health support available.

I agree OP.
It's not exactly the same but I was able to access The Incredible Years and Raising Children with Confidence through our local sure start when I was struggling with DS1.
Most of the other parents had been asked to attend by social workers. It was absolutely brilliant, but as a PP said, in work time.
There are a number of free online courses available too, and I've also done a couple through Barnardos specifically around ASD and ADHD.
I've also been involved in teenage brain and trauma informed training through work.
I think people saying 'just read a book' are being disingenuous.

I'd have loved this!

I have teenage girls now and do sometimes feel out of my depth

To all of those saying do your own research - can anyone recommend a good book about tween/ teenage brain development?

.

Education is so important, menopause is the current hot topic, loads of articles, tv programmes, books on the subject which massively help with understanding and guides people to the right treatment and approach for them. I totally agree that there should be similar education devices for the teen years. It is a minefield and if I'm honest I haven't approached it with the same enthusiasm I did the baby toddler years... I researched and read a lot when they were little, mumsnet, books, articles, it hasnt really occured to me to do the same for this stage which is wrong.

There is heaps of freely available information out there but also not all children and teenagers are or act the same, same as adults

Maybe if parents gave teenagers more credit and don't just brush 'oh well just hormones it's OK they are rude'

This information is readily available for those who care enough to research and read. Most people can't be bothered getting off their arse to go to a free antenatal class provided by the NHS, nevermind going to future courses, and think they know everything about child development just because they made a child on their own.
Hence why there are lots of shit parents out there.

To all of those saying do your own research - can anyone recommend a good book about tween/ teenage brain development?

Sarah Ockwell-Smith has a good book about tweens, and The Whole Brain Child is a good read.

Imminent parents don't need it, they are having a baby , it's too remote and they will not relate.
At my kids primary school we got offered a course called family matters about younger children, behaviour, choices and consequences, your own reactions etc I did it and was really really useful and then a follow up one called talking teens about the issues OP describes
I now work on a school and when these courses are offered there is hardly any uptake (and they are free and not always during the day)

On a “parenting teens” course round here they recommend “Blame my Brain”

No. I think the focus on brain development is overstated and simplistic.
Every teen is an individual with attitudes and behaviour resulting from their personality, external influences and their relationship with the significant people in their lives.
There are teens who get up very early at weekends to participate in activities. There are teens who sleep until 3pm because they've been up all night on screens.
There are teens with a strong sense of entitlement or tendancy to aggression coupled with weak and passive parents. There are teens who are compliant and even tempered coupled with highly authoritarian parents, vice versa, and everything in between. Background, opportunities, peer group all huge influences too.
The job of a parent is to appropriately respond to and manage behaviour, and if there were to be training it should focus on that. One theory as to why teens behave a certain way is less than helpful in that, and leads to generalisations that could mask individual issues.

'Training' course would make more sense as they start secondary school. I'd have forgotten it all if I had such 'training' when my child was a fetus.

TV series would be great (if there are any producers reading).

I haven’t watched and I understand that teenagers might be programmed to sleep in. But that knowledge didn’t help me when I had a teenager that refused to get up and get to school on time. As a single parent I tried everything, being supportive and understanding, changing my working hours so I was at home longer in the mornings, offering to drive them (it’s a 20 minutes walk), talking to the school to see if there were problems. I also tried the more strict approach, bedtime, no devices, shouting. I even tried offering money (£10 a week to get to school on time). Nothing worked, my son had 70% attendance and he would just say he was too tired to get up and found school boring.

I have two other children and didn’t have the problems with them. It is not always bad parenting but on paper it probably looks like it.

I wish my mother had done some sort of training to grasp that I wasn't the same person at 14 as I was age 10.
It led to some awful arguments because I just didn't want to do things she expected of me.
By the time my 2 younger sisters came along a few years later she seemed to have got it, but she went to the other end of the spectrum and just let them do as they pleased 😡

There have been various TV programmes about child development, a lot of them are on YouTube.

Child of our time was great though you can't see many reruns due to privacy I think.

I'm interested in the subject and I've found lots of resources over the years (can't remember any specifics) - it is out there. I agree it would be great if there was some kind of easy to access central database, but libraries are pretty good at this, and Google isn't terrible if you search for example "14 year old brain development" or whatever age or "time awareness development in children" you'll generally find different articles, videos etc. Or even "why does my child never listen" or "why do toddlers hate vegetables?"

I very much agree with this. Individual differences are the important factor.

For PP suggesting schools do it, where are we carving out the time/ resources to do it?! It seems that any issue = schools sort it! In PSE classes (Scotland) there is work done with the kids about the Teenage brain. There needs to be money & personnel provided if you want parents involved.

As others have said, a tv documentary on teenage brains would be a good idea.

Mandatory training for everyone isn't practical. .When would it happen? Working parents wouldn't have the time, and it would cost money that I'm sure the government wouldn't pay out.

Another idea would be to educate people on the importance of eating whole foods instead of processed rubbish. Diet affects everyone's brain health.

But again, all this information is readily available for those who choose to access it.

As others have said it’s readily available information for anyone that needs help. I have 4 kids and of course they changed a bit through the teenage years , I have two that are still teens 16 and 17. There weren’t any major things that I needed advice or help with though. If there was the internet I’d a great source of info .

If you need training on being a parent , you shouldnt be having children. ‘ Nanny state ‘ where everyone needs someone telling them what to do and how to behave is just pathetic!

I do agree that every teen is different but an example that most people don't understand (for toddlers not teens), is that the prefrontal cortex does not develop as quickly as the rest of their brain, resulting in "melt downs" as "disproportionate responses". This is met by many with aggression and punishment instead of any level of understanding that it can be incredibly hard for toddlers to modulate their responses to things, and they need us to guide them and model this.
Far easier to stick them on a step and ignore them while they sob though.

A lot of teen behaviour is put down to hormones and attitude problems, especially in girls, and completely overlooks individual causes for behaviour.

They need to bring back sure start. It actually worked. No sense in reinventing the wheel.

Yes, sure start was really great.

I find empathy, listening, paying attention, consulting the teen on what they would like and making sure they know you will always fight their corner when necessary generally works. Plus a fair amount of biting ones tongue.

All of this.