To think all imminent parents should be given free training on how child and teen brains develop, change and work?

[JFDIYOLO]

This is a really interesting article on the massive changes adolescent brains go through between 11 and 18.

It explains why brain changes can make it so hard for teens to get to sleep early - and get up early for school.

And how the bits of the brain develop at different rates - so the bits that govern decision making and future planning and consequences are temporarily less developed than the bits that want excitement NOW.

I often think it's connected to how humans might have only lived into their twenties in prehistoric times so nature is priming us to fight / hunt / breed NOW to keep the species going, which is why risky and rebellious behaviour happens at that stage.

And if parents had insights into why their newly teen child seems to have turned into a stranger, it's because they kind of have - a new person navigating the world with an evolving brain.

(I loved that film Inside Out, set inside a child's brain, and the end where a shiny new console is delivered with a big button marked Puberty 😁).

I think it would help parents hugely to understand why their teen behaves in such incomprehensible and trying ways.

https://www.fife.gov.uk/kb/docs/articles/education2/supporting-children-in-school/educational-psychology-service/teenagers-brains-and-behaviour

A training programme is not accessible to all when delivered in one way. I have been asked to attend sessions for my son's ASD. I'd love to understand more about him but they are in work hours and OH and I work FT and have our kids with us the rest of the time. People assume parents of SEN kids are on benefits (as you can tell by lack of wraparound care and holiday clubs). You needs to ensure people don't make assumptions about parents using services which is often the case.

It's a good idea, but there is more than one way to deliver the message.

I think giving it to 'imminent' parents would be pretty pointless. Of all the things you worry about in late pregnancy and before the birth of your first child, teenage brain development isn't likely to register much.

I agree with you OP! As with any important message you would need good campaigning, it might not have to be a training programme as such but you could get a worthwhile campaign going. Similar to the stuff you see about suicide prevention or men’s mental health. The message might need to be broader than teenage brains though as a lot of parents inability to deal with this is because they haven’t addressed their own baggage and childhood issues and are letting their teenager trigger them. Emotional mature parents with stable attachment styles are usually pretty good with teenagers. It’s hard to train someone who is emotionally immature to be a good parent, even if they know everything in theory about the teenage brain. So for me it’s that investment in helping people self heal and grow within themselves before they’re in charge of a teenager!

If you live in Scotland you can access this for free - pretty comprehensive training there from baby to adulthood for anyone interested in learning more about parenting and child development:
https://education.gov.scot/parentzone/news-and-events/solihull-online-free-resources-for-parents-and-carers/

I think a really good comprehensive TV series that parents could be directed to would be great.

Could you imagine the out-cry from the hard-right press if the BBC was to produce a programme about raising teens? Endless articles about the Nanny-state, brainwashing and interfering by the hated BBC?

There's also a free parenting courseanyone can access online to complete. Solihull Parenting Approach courses on all stages of development from 0-18 years.

I have used the one for primary aged children. It's a very useful tool and made me look into my own parenting skills and ways to improve them.

And to be fair, all of the early 'advice' I was given about my son was useless because of his ASD. Every child is different. You can tell parents why the teenage years are challenging, but in a lot of cases the advice will simply not work. Some kids are just challenging. I guess trying to be a better parent around it will help, but I do think that some teenagers are always going to push boundaries and get up late, be lippy, hate the ground you walk on whatever approach you take with them.

@Vettrianofan yes that's what it is
Really informative and gives you the child's perspective also

Bingo! Thank you 😊, yes I was about to provide this link.

Now OP this course does delve into everything you have posted about to do with informing parents about teenage brain development and what to expect.

Absolutely fantastic course content. Highly recommend.

This is the second time in a week people here have suggested “training for all” for various things. What happened to personal responsibility?

Absolutely it should include understanding neurodiversity 🤗

Well I guess that comes when you choose to implement it or not.

I think there is too much information out there which can be overwhelming to some people. It's helpful to all be in one place where the messaging is clear.

Fear not. Solihull Parenting Approach can be done in your own time. From the comfort of your own home. There's an ASD section too for parents. It's an absolutely fantastic course.

I will have a look at that. Thanks.

I agree. It would also be accessible to more people than reading books or scientific research.

Thank you OP, that is a good point. I don’t think a full-on National parent training programme is appropriate, but parents should be reminded of resources that are out there.

Some PPs saying good parents will do their research anyway - I have a 12 year old and a 13 year old - the changes are gradual and we know our DC very well, it hasn’t occurred to me to consult a book or online resources about teens specifically. Instead I rely on talking things through with other parents - one who has just got through the teen years has been particularly helpful.

I read plenty of parenting books when they were babies/ toddlers, and really they were no help when you try to apply it to your very unique child.

So thank you for the reminder that there’s a biological reason beyond just ‘puberty’. I will look into the resources that are out there.

Just came in to post and see @Flatandhappy had beaten me to it. People need to start taking responsibility for themselves and their children.

Besides this whilst the state continues to undermine and exclude parents of teens e.g allowing children to 'socially transition' at school and to tell parents they cannot discuss their teens medical records, any training is pointless.

https://inourplace.heiapply.com/online-learning/app/courses/36

I came across this information nearly a decade ago when I was fighting sleep training and schedules with my eldest. It's incredible how much babies learn from birth to age one and then beyond. I do agree op that knowledge on brain development in children is important for parents to be aware of. As are things like when hormone production ramps up, growth spurts and sleep needs which all ties into brain development.

It's made parenting easier for us as we can be empathetic to what dc1 is going through and understand that, that temper tantrum out of no where is due to routine changes and burgeoning hormones. He can't help some of the apparent fusteration and anger. He's trying to navigate body and brain development. It begins happening a lot younger than you may think.

But, a nation wide training scheme? It would be a waste of time and resources. There would be only a tiny uptake. If someone is interested a quick Google will land them on the information that's needed.

As a pp said NCT was a disappointment. It was an expensive exercise in meeting 'friends'.

This!

It will all be forgotten in the first 10 years

Anyway, I think it's common knowledge about brain development

Just to speak a bit more specifically to the topic, I think it's important to bear in mind that not all online, TV or written resources are accessible to all parents. I work in CAMHS and while some parents would find information about brain development helpful and would use it to adapt their parenting, others would really struggle to do so and would need more practical focused support.

I think one thing that's really important is that parents have access to someone to support them when they're struggling with parenting for whatever reason. With preschool children they have access to health visitors but after that it becomes more difficult to know who to ask. Families with significant issues will access social work advice or become involved with CAMHS clinicians, but who do they go to before that point? Not everyone has friends or family with good parenting experience/knowledge that they can draw from. Not everyone has the ability to sort through the resources that are out there to work out what's most relevant to them and their situation.

‘Taking personal responsibility’ is fine, but that’s not what we’re talking about. This (and the safeguarding thread) is about raising awareness. Understanding teens is very different to taking responsibility for raising them, and involves research/empathy/information-seeking.

My DM was great in many respects but she was too cognitively inflexible to understand my need to find out who I was. The messaging was ‘don’t shave/dye your hair/give up this hobby’ rather than ‘I’ll help you to navigate this safely’.

This. I depair sometimes at how lazy people generally are.

A lot of parents can't even be arsed to read with their child, or play with them (screens all the way). There's no way they'd follow advice that requires effort.

yes it would be great if for example some payments were linked to completely a short parenting course. ( sort of like CPD!).
but of course it would be agenda driven, not evidence based.