Lost my cool with school run mum

[Vanilladanish]

I’m at my absolute wits end. Recently bought a house near the kids primary school and like most primary schools the parking at school run time is a nightmare. There is one mum that constantly parks over my drive blocking me in or out. I work as an on call palliative care nurse and twice now have been late to call outs to provide pain relief and other things to patients at the end of life. I’ve tried to talk to her nicely and she just drives away. A few weeks ago my husband was trying to pull in the drive after work and she was blocking again. There was a queue of traffic behind him and he had to pull over and ask her to move so he could get off the road. She said she would when she was ready. Sometimes she’s there and there are spaces all the way up and down the road but she still blocks my drive.
today she blocked me again - I’ve just finished a night shift and I saw red. I asked her to stop parking and tried to explain I needed to get in and out quickly for work. She just shouted over me so I told her I would slash her tyres next time. I know I was unreasonable to say that and I am really ashamed of myself but I’m absolutely at my wits end. What do I do?!

That’s awful, what an entitled bitch! Our school regularly sends out messages about parking considerately so talking to them is definitely an option, although with that kind of attitude she probably won’t care 🙄 I never realised how much of an issue school run parking was because we usually walk, but my very pregnant arse can’t deal with the walk anymore so have been driving. I get there nice and early so I can find a place to park that doesn’t bother anyone, but some people park like complete idiots.

As an example, the road that leads to the school has driveways all down one side, and the other side has zero driveways. We could all park neatly in a row all along the no driveway side, fitting loads of cars. There’s always an idiot (or 3) that for whatever reason decides to park on the driveway side instead. They park in between driveways so not actually blocking anyone, but it means leas parking options for everyone else (because to fit the same amount of cars all the drives would be blocked) and anyone driving down the road has to zigzag around because there’s now cars parked on both sides of the road. I just don’t get it 🙄

Call you local council and have them send out the mobile traffic warden to your street during school pick up and drop off times. Theyd make a mint!

We have patrols outside my school, but i dont think they do it often enough! Fine those inconsiderate parents £30 every time!

I would contact the school and tell them what you work as and you need complete access to your driveway. She's absolutely disgraceful for doing it after you told her. I'm sure the school would be happy to help consider the work you do. I don't blame you for saying what you do, I would act the same way.

Sounds like you need a school street - residents only in school peak times (eg 8-9 and 3-4). Talk to your neighbours and approach your local council too.

@ohbuggar the school I worked in did highlight it to newsletters & the council then got involved as it was an east way of making money. However my point was it's very normal to schools to get involved....

As you said it may not stop her so I would then employ other methods.

Dong be ashamed next time go slash the bitches tyres yes i know im petty but sometimes you just have to take control she obviously does not give a shit

I commented earlier, but our school sent out physical patrols initially for a couple of weeks and then periodically to make sure no one was parking like a wanker. They took it really seriously.

I was a school governor - we went out plus some of the school staff. I agree it's a ridiculous thing to have to do, but the parking outside our school was just plain dangerous.

Another school in the area warned parents that traffic wardens would now be patrolling on drop-off and pick-up. No idea how they wangled it, but lo and behold, a traffic warden was there ready to ticket anyone who stepped out of line!

I guess it depends on the school but sometimes getting them involved is all that's needed....

Slash the tyres like you said.

When people post photos of vehicles on our village Facebook page it seems to embarrass the guilty ones into stopping. Of course some new twat comes along quickly though.

Our council will issue a fine if you take a photo of a car blocking your driveway and upload it to their portal.

Maybe worth seeing if that's an option for you given you've tried to talk to her reasonably and she has continued to block you in.

My local vicar got hold of a load of no parking police cones and put them all up the street so that he could get his car out (he had to miss a funeral once because he was blocked in). I have no idea where he got them but people took notice of them and didn’t park on that street - for a few days at least and then I think they cottoned on that they were not put there by the police ( will Google and try to find images).

He got upset to the point of obsession with being blocked in. Wouldn’t surprise me if he slashed a few tyres.

Slash them and key her car.

Post it on all the local Facebook groups with photos and easily identifiable location. Post it on here with photos and an easily identifiable location. Put a disguise on, approach your driveway from the road (not your own house), slash the tyres, leave (don't go to your house). When the police come and knock at your door, deny all knowledge, tell the police about all the people you told and places you posted about the woman and how enraged they all were, on your behalf. It could be anyone that did it... I doubt they'd have the time to prove it was you.

Believe if you have a dropped kerb to your drive its an offence to block it! I accidently parked in front of grass verge not clocking the dropped kerb and the police came and found me at a day class never felt so embarrassed and apologised profusely I don't park on double yellow lines. You may have a case to involve the police. Thank you for your care not easy but I'm sure your help at such times is much appreciated.

The school can do very little. The type of people who behave in this manner are not the type that bother to read newsletters. They give zero shits.

I have been verbally abused and physically threatened asking parents not to park like wankers illegally.

I will not sanction my staff policing the streets.

I am emailed daily by angry parents about their perceived lack of action.

I have lobbied the Council directly and met with shameful responses related to costs and deployment of traffic enforcement.

I now understand that it will take an accident before a reaction of any meaningful degree will be taken by responsible agencies. I expect it every morning and afternoon, and it causes me genuine anxiety.

Frankly, I advocate slashing tyres. I'm done.

Our school sent staff volunteers and governors out into the area immediately surrounding the school to patrol/monitor for a short period during drop-off and pick-up.

It was incredibly effective. It was the only thing I've ever seen work.

give yourself a break… I have been under enormous stress this past week selling my house under pressure & regretfully accepting a price when houses started to sky rocket. I couldn’t get out of the contract or seem to get an offer a new house acccepted. under extreme stress.

Agent kept passing on repairs needed to be done and I said the owner could go and x and x which the agent despite it being in Australia, was offended by. What I said was far worst than what you said and involved a sex act and swallowing.

I still regret what I said, and feel
ashamed.

We all make mistakes.

I don’t think school announcements will help, people like this are too arrogant for that.

I would find a more practical solution like parking there yourself on school days if possible or issuing a legal letter/mention of court action.

Not that you should have too, but have you explained your job and the fact you’re an emergency nurse on call?

Ask her how she would feel if a loved one or relative needed a nurse but the nurse didn’t turn up because she was stuck in her house.

I would like to think 99.9% of people would reason that they’re being dicks and move.

The school street thing works well. DS’s infant school got one in place whilst he was there. Made a big difference.

I would have been much worse!! I live near a school so I understand the pain that is shit parking. Take a photo of her, her car and her index number on car and tell the school and police. Better yet try and do that when she is there so she can see you doing it. If you have a local Facebook group post there too. My friend had the same issue but with an allocated parking space so she blocked in the parent, went inside her home put the dinner on and told the parent she would move her car once she'd finished dinner. The mum had to sit in her car for an hour!! She never parked there again! Maybe ask neighbours to block her in...

You weren't unreasonable to say that!
It's an utterly infuriating situation.

Can you get a white 'H' painted outside your drive? Combined with signs and measures that others have mentioned, it might realise she's parking like a dick.

I believe obstruction is something you can call the police for. I know they have come out to people local to me and in one case got the vehicle towed.