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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Lost my cool with school run mum

464 replies

Vanilladanish · 15/09/2023 10:18

I’m at my absolute wits end. Recently bought a house near the kids primary school and like most primary schools the parking at school run time is a nightmare. There is one mum that constantly parks over my drive blocking me in or out. I work as an on call palliative care nurse and twice now have been late to call outs to provide pain relief and other things to patients at the end of life. I’ve tried to talk to her nicely and she just drives away. A few weeks ago my husband was trying to pull in the drive after work and she was blocking again. There was a queue of traffic behind him and he had to pull over and ask her to move so he could get off the road. She said she would when she was ready. Sometimes she’s there and there are spaces all the way up and down the road but she still blocks my drive.
today she blocked me again - I’ve just finished a night shift and I saw red. I asked her to stop parking and tried to explain I needed to get in and out quickly for work. She just shouted over me so I told her I would slash her tyres next time. I know I was unreasonable to say that and I am really ashamed of myself but I’m absolutely at my wits end. What do I do?!

OP posts:
Queenofheart · 15/09/2023 15:36

I'd park my car in front of hers and get another parked behind and block her in ... don't move when she asks, then see if she does it again!

ZadocPDederick · 15/09/2023 15:39

Given your occupation, I suspect this is one thing the police would take seriously. I'd try the large sign first, and if that doesn't work, try the police.

FirstFallopians · 15/09/2023 15:40

Some of the advice here is just plain criminal damage.

At the moment you have the upper hand- no police officer is going to think a palliative care nurse who has got blocked in, delaying her being able to provide pain relief to the terminally ill is being unreasonable. You might as well wear a halo and wings.

However if they then come to realise that you’ve escalated any situation by pouring soup in the window, scratching her car, leaving nails behind her wheels or anything, I’d say you’d loose the high ground in their eyes and be less motivated to resolve the issue on your behalf.

fettuccini · 15/09/2023 15:41

kitsuneghost · 15/09/2023 13:46

Apologies if anyone has asked but this is not a new thing so why the heck did you buy a house near a school

Not excusing shit parking but if I needed access to my drive at school hours I would not be buying a house next to a school

I voted YABU for this.

Oh don't be stupid.

CKL987 · 15/09/2023 15:54

I'm sure the families of some of your patients would be willing to slash her tyres. I sure would have been when my parents were on end of life. You and your colleagues are an absolute God send.

CCTVcity · 15/09/2023 16:00

If she’s doing it to your house purposefully when there is plenty of spaces then it’s harassment. I would involve school, police and ‘leak’ the story to fellow mums.

MzHz · 15/09/2023 16:02

Never apologise for blowing up at someone who absolutely knows what she’s doing and how inconvenient it is to you.

Next time take photos and then go postal on her! Totally fucking bat shit crazy and then complain to the school and the council parking warden office

Hibiscrubbed · 15/09/2023 16:03

VeridicalVagabond · 15/09/2023 10:34

Someone did this to my aunt many years ago, she's a midwife. She'd asked them politely not to block her drive many times, had a bit of a spat with them, reported it to the school etc. The woman never stopped.

One particularly warm and muggy day my aunt marched out and poured two tins of oxtail soup through her sunroof.

I'm not saying do that, but to be fair it worked.

I really love that she thought this warranted not one, but two cans of oxtail soup.

cassiatwenty · 15/09/2023 16:06

YANBU she's been testing you long-enough

Funny you feel ashamed when she should be

Fullspectrum · 15/09/2023 16:07

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

DyslexicPoster · 15/09/2023 16:07

Park across your own drive on school days. So you block it yourself.

Move

Fairnair · 15/09/2023 16:07

I would send letters, e-mails etc. to the school, with details of the car including registration. Don’t do anything which can be classed as criminal damage etc.

I live opposite a school, & the road does get very busy at the beginning & end of the school day. We have had problems in the past with people blocking the driveway, so not been able to get in or out, & people being rude when I politely asked them to move.

However, things have got better as the school staff repeatedly remind people not to block driveways, & they have a notice on the school website.

Freneg98 · 15/09/2023 16:08

I think you are well within your rights to have lost your cool. It's not ideal but understandable. She sounds like an entitled c*w!
Definitely take pictures.
Our 420-student primary is across a 1600-student secondary, on a residential road. We have occasional parking patrols, but nowhere near enough and their effect doesn't last long.
Drives get blocked, buses and emergency services are unable to drive through during the school run and cars park and drive on the pavements whilst 100's of children are walking on them.
School ended up sending all parents the details of operation crackdown to report "antisocial driving behaviour". Having reported an incident on there I think it might be an appropriate resource for you should the situation continue. It asks for the car reg and can send official warnings to the offender.

illiterato · 15/09/2023 16:14

From what I remember when the eco protestors were letting down the tyres of SUVs in central London they got away with it as it’s not classed as criminal damage ( whereas slashing tyres is). Just a thought.

Scruffington · 15/09/2023 16:19

I think the suggested facebook shaming is the way to go. Satisfying as it would be to slash her tyres, it probably isn't the wisest route to take.

Spaghettihulahoops · 15/09/2023 16:20

illiterato · 15/09/2023 16:14

From what I remember when the eco protestors were letting down the tyres of SUVs in central London they got away with it as it’s not classed as criminal damage ( whereas slashing tyres is). Just a thought.

Then she’d be in the way even longer though…

Skodacool · 15/09/2023 16:21

There’s always a type of parent who takes absolutely no notice of pleas from the school to park considerately. She knows she’s blocking OP’s drive. She will only take notice of someone official - perhaps 🙄

Paco88 · 15/09/2023 16:24

I share your pain OP. I haven't read through the entire thread so I apologise if any of what I post has already been suggested.
I live near a school and regularly had issues with people blocking my drive. Apparently it is illegal to block you in if your car is parked on the drive but not illegal to block your drive preventing you from driving onto it....as crazy as that seems!
We applied for an enforced dropped kerb notice that is registered with our local council. That means anyone parking along the entrance to our driveway, including us unfortunately, could receive a fine if caught. However, the reality is....no one is ever there to actually enforce it!
We have tried the usual routes of informing the school and speaking to the drivers etc. but nothing worked anywhere near as effectively as resorting to posting pictures of inconsiderate parking onto our estate's Facebook page. We got the odd rude response but mostly, people were supportive. Since doing that a few times, we have had far less of an issue as I guess the drivers don't want to be named and shamed.
If we know we need to leave at school run time, then I put the car onto the road to guarantee I can leave when I want. This is not something that should be necessary though. I hope you get sorted as I know how frustrating it can be.

Duchesscheshire · 15/09/2023 16:26

I feel your pain, we have had this. As others suggest. I took pictures and put on local.fb..emailed the school.
They Were very helpful..contacted local pcso who regularly.visited and started ticketing cars. Each new term.we have someone trying it on..polite reminder with photographs mentioning pcso soon sorts it..Good luck

Mummy2mybear · 15/09/2023 16:28

Its so true one of the comments i read about the poor patients on end of life care. It makes it even worse the fact you have explained to her the reason why she cannot block your drive (not that you should have to should be common sense not to do it in the first place) You do a vital job and she continues to do so its just so spiteful and selfish knowing some poor person is lying needing you to make the last days as comfortable as possible. I cant get over how someone could be so cruel the nurses are stretched as it is. I just cannot get over the entitlement of her, this thread has made me so angry. Then the abuse and stress they have on top of things like this from the families and the high pressure of the job and you have selfish people who just could not care less its so disheartening. She sounds absolutely dreadful.

Malbecfan · 15/09/2023 16:33

My father has similar issues. He puts a thin line of grease under the door handle on the driver's door. It's not criminal damage because you are not obscuring any window but it's bloody irritating to remove. Vaseline does the same thing but a grease gun is the way to go.

ittakes2 · 15/09/2023 16:35

She sounds awful.
I would put a big sign in my front garden next to the drive saying 'I am a palliative car nurse please do not park in front of my drive as my patients often need me at short notice'
And if she ignores that she will look like a total twat to everyone.

1FootInTheRave · 15/09/2023 16:37

You've tried nice.

Now, fb shame to local sites.

Then do some damage. But don't get caught.

Stupid, selfish bitch deserves it.

Redlarge · 15/09/2023 16:44

My youngests school is in a really build up area with no where to park. People are really selfish and dangerous and do stuff like this all the time. Neighbours compained to school, rightly so and community police wardens patrolled the school for a week. It has improved but im sure people will do it again. 100% follow the advice to ring the police and school.
In terms of your anxiety over what you said the police won't do anything. We used to have an agressive drunk next door to us years ago who used to bully all the women in the rd about parking (despite not having a car himself) and threatened some vile things not even in the heat of the moment. Police did nothing.
You are in the right, you lost your rag because shes a twat and your job is stressful. Dont feel bad xx