Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave my kids alone in the bath?

129 replies

Bafftime · 13/09/2023 18:47

My kids are 5 and 2.5.
I'm a single parent working full time and living in a small 2 bedroom flat.
When my kids go in the bath I use this time to tidy up after dinner, make packed lunches and prepare for bedtime. My flat is tiny so I am never far away from them. I listen the entire time and check on them every few minutes, I'm very tuned into what they are doing which is usually playing calmly and happily together. There are times when one gets upset or they squabble and when this happens I sit in there with them or get them out, but most of the time they're fine.
Am I unreasonable for doing this?

YANBU - using this time to get on with chores is fine, you check on them regularly.

YABU - they are too young to be left alone in the bath regardless of how close by you are.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bafftime · 13/09/2023 19:18

Thank you for the posters who managed to make their point emphatically and empathetically.
Not wasting my time addressing the others.

I've listened and I will stop doing this immediately. Expecting my 5yr old to essentially supervise his brother is wrong of me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bafftime · 13/09/2023 19:19

And to the poster who was aghast at people asking for advice on mumsent... I'm glad I did.

OP posts:
YouJustDoYou · 13/09/2023 19:19

Kids have died when parents have done this. Tidying is not worth the risks.

Whattodo112222 · 13/09/2023 19:20

Omg no. It only takes a moment OP. My bathroom is next to my bedroom. I could easily leave DD in the bath and sit on my bed and hear her etc.. never have I taken that risk.. ever. I'm also a single parent.

HideTheRockyBars · 13/09/2023 19:22

At 2.5 it's a no.
However I find the range of people's responses interesting when this question comes up. Does the extremity of the answer depend on the depth of the bath?

Crabbity · 13/09/2023 19:24

My kids are just turned 7 and just short of 4, and only in the last couple of months have I left them for the length of time it takes to reach a towel from the room next door, with them in full view and earshot, while asking them both to sing so I can hear they are both above water (!). It just isn’t worth the risk.

Maray1967 · 13/09/2023 19:25

mynameiscalypso · 13/09/2023 18:50

I wouldn't, sorry. I have a 4 year old and will pop into his bedroom next door to get something (like if his towel is there) but I wouldn't do anything else.

Same here when mine were that age - quick sprint to next room and back if a clean towel was needed but nothing else. No phone answering, door opening or any chores. They’re too young.

whatwhatwhywhen · 13/09/2023 19:26

Bafftime · 13/09/2023 19:18

Thank you for the posters who managed to make their point emphatically and empathetically.
Not wasting my time addressing the others.

I've listened and I will stop doing this immediately. Expecting my 5yr old to essentially supervise his brother is wrong of me.

I'm really pleased you're taking the comments on board. Can't believe the daft things I did as a young mum and only now looking back I think WTF! So I'm not blaming you at all.

RockAndRollerskate · 13/09/2023 19:26

Christ some of these responses!

I regularly potter in the adjoining room when my kids are bathing and can hear them at all times (younger than yours OP). Errr but I probably won’t now!

Lemmony · 13/09/2023 19:28

Not worth the risk!

ColonelRhubarbBikini · 13/09/2023 19:30

It’s one of those things where the risk of something bad happening is really statistically very small but the result is likely to be catastrophic. It’s not worth the risk.

I absolutely get it when you’re so time poor you need to multitask like an absolute champ but I’m glad to hear you won’t be doing it again. I’d just chuck the iPad at them or pop some kiddie crap on the telly for 15 minutes before their bath and then get your chores done then. I used to sit on the loo seat and catch up on emails and banking/bills stuff while the kids were in the tub.

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 13/09/2023 19:32

I see no reason to leave them if you are short of time. I would put them in, soap them up, rinse off, straight out and towel dry. Do the jobs you need to do once they are safely out and the waters gone.

Oblomov23 · 13/09/2023 19:32

No. Just no. I'm the most easy going relaxed parent about most things, but not this.

Canisaysomething · 13/09/2023 19:38

If you need more time to tidy, let them play and flannel wash them instead a few nights. They don't need a bath every night.

Newuser75 · 13/09/2023 19:39

I have a 10 year old and a 4 year old. Very occasionally they will have a bath together as they like to play with water guns or whatever.

Once my 10 year old was being silly, messing on in the bath and putting his head under. He hadn't realised but his legs had gone over the 4 year old who was lying down and then couldn't get his head out of the water.

I was sitting right next to them as I always do and so was able to pull the 4 year old up straight away but I dread to think what may have happened had I popped to get a towel or something.

I'd say far too young, especially the youngest. I'm sorry.

Carpediemmakeitcount · 13/09/2023 19:41

No such thing as a stupid question you did the right thing asking for advice. Don't let a few rotten posters upset you or scare you from posting for advice again.

rainbowsparkle28 · 13/09/2023 19:42

They should not be left unsupervised for even a few seconds - that is all it takes even with a very small amount of water. If you really do need to perhaps do any chores is there anything you could take in and be doing in the bathroom?

Aphotoaday · 13/09/2023 19:44

This happened to a friend of mine. She was the 4 year old, the younger child drowned. She has had to live with that her whole life. Even although she did nothing wrong and was too young to be left with that responsibility, she is haunted by what happened.

Namechangedtoanswerthisone · 13/09/2023 19:49

No.

How would you feel if something happened. It would be your fault and your neglect that caused it. Your children. They sleep, do the chores then or when they are watching tv.

adriftinadenofvipers · 13/09/2023 19:53

There are no chores worth the risk.

It's a good thing you posted. I thought this was common knowledge but it appears not. Glad you are taking the advice on board, and hopefully it will also educate other mums. You would never forgive yourself if something happened.

BishopBrennansArseHole · 13/09/2023 19:54

Actually OP, I apologise for the ‘stupid’ remark. That wasn’t helpful. Glad to see you’ve taken on board all the advice given though. It’s never ever worth the risk

FionaChapman · 13/09/2023 19:54

When my kids were the age of yours I would tidy the bathroom while they were in the bath. Or just sit in the bathroom and respond to emails.
I don’t think I could leave them in their on their own, it only takes a second for something to go wrong.

supersonicginandtonic · 13/09/2023 19:54

I wouldn't personally. I know others who do. Why don't you use the time they are in the bath to clean the bathroom, fold washing etc? Something you can do whilst you're in the room.

JonjoMonjo21 · 13/09/2023 19:56

YABU never risk leaving them alone in the bath. Especially at 2.5 yes old. Can’t believe what I’m reading

makeminealargeoneagain · 13/09/2023 19:57

OP so glad you've decided to stop doing this. I know it's hard being a single parent but perhaps you could just have a quick tidy up when they're asleep safe in bed rather than in the bath. Nothing is worth risking your children's safety.