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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave my kids alone in the bath?

129 replies

Bafftime · 13/09/2023 18:47

My kids are 5 and 2.5.
I'm a single parent working full time and living in a small 2 bedroom flat.
When my kids go in the bath I use this time to tidy up after dinner, make packed lunches and prepare for bedtime. My flat is tiny so I am never far away from them. I listen the entire time and check on them every few minutes, I'm very tuned into what they are doing which is usually playing calmly and happily together. There are times when one gets upset or they squabble and when this happens I sit in there with them or get them out, but most of the time they're fine.
Am I unreasonable for doing this?

YANBU - using this time to get on with chores is fine, you check on them regularly.

YABU - they are too young to be left alone in the bath regardless of how close by you are.

OP posts:
Sprogonthetyne · 13/09/2023 18:58

The 5yo maybe, the 2.5yo definitely not. Could you find a job to take into the bathroom if you want to use the time. I usually fold laundry or clean the bathroom.

itsgettingweird · 13/09/2023 18:59

It's hard. I'm a LP.

What I use to do is take washing basket in and fold it up. Or sort underwear out. Use the time to clean rest of bathroom.

How often are they having a bath? Kids this age don't need one daily so maybe look at how often you need them in there Vs how much time you need to do other stuff,

Starlightstarbright2 · 13/09/2023 19:00

A hard no …..

I am a Lp too ..

whatwhatwhywhen · 13/09/2023 19:00

My neighbour used to always leave her toddler in the bath while she pottered around. It was a flat so she could easily listen out and keep checking on them. She doesn't do it anymore .... because the toddler is dead. Drowned in the bath. Don't do it.

Oysterbabe · 13/09/2023 19:01

Absolutely not. The 2.5 year old needs constant supervision in the bath.

SherbetLemonn · 13/09/2023 19:02

You absolutely cannot do this. I’m pretty a laid back parent but this is completely beyond the realms of acceptable parenting and is so bloody unsafe!!!

Fleur405 · 13/09/2023 19:02

My partner works away for weeks at a time so even though I’m not a single parent I do get have some idea how hard it is. But You cannot leave a 2.5 year old in the bath without adult supervision AT ALL.

Perfect28 · 13/09/2023 19:02

What if one of them pushed the other under? Or they slipped? It would be too late to help by the time you got there 'every few minutes'. Drowning is silent, you aren't going to hear it.

BishopBrennansArseHole · 13/09/2023 19:03

saveforthat · 13/09/2023 18:56

No need for that @BishopBrennansArseHole. It's probably best not to leave them op. But if you can hear them and are checking every few minutes I am not going to berate you for this. It's hard being a single parent, hang on in there. Things will get easier as they get older.

Show quote history

No need for what? Asking if she’s stupid?

I suppose you’re right, there is no need to ask. It’s basic parenting after all.

newmama311 · 13/09/2023 19:04

I don't think anyone needs to be quite so harsh as it's a measured risk, but I think stop doing this now if at all possible

listlovers · 13/09/2023 19:05

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Is there any need to be so rude?

DanglingMod · 13/09/2023 19:05

The bath is probably the moat dangerous place in your home, except maybe the cooker or an open window.

I'd leave them playing together in the living room to do chores. Please don't leave them alone in the bath.

Giveuprobot · 13/09/2023 19:06

whatwhatwhywhen · 13/09/2023 19:00

My neighbour used to always leave her toddler in the bath while she pottered around. It was a flat so she could easily listen out and keep checking on them. She doesn't do it anymore .... because the toddler is dead. Drowned in the bath. Don't do it.

Oh, don't be so vile. This style of posting is right up there with 'what would you tell the coroner?'

Plenty of people have managed to make the point perfectly clearly without... whatever the fuck this is.

Stompythedinosaur · 13/09/2023 19:07

Definitely dangerous and not ok in my book.

Giveuprobot · 13/09/2023 19:07

BishopBrennansArseHole · 13/09/2023 19:03

No need for what? Asking if she’s stupid?

I suppose you’re right, there is no need to ask. It’s basic parenting after all.

Show quote history

Why anyone would consult this website for advice is beyond me.

MidnightOnceMore · 13/09/2023 19:08

newmama311 · 13/09/2023 19:04

I don't think anyone needs to be quite so harsh as it's a measured risk, but I think stop doing this now if at all possible

This comment is ridiculous - it is a high risk thing to do.

The number of children who drown in the bath is low across the population. But only because most children are supervised.

The risk of drowning for an unsupervised 2.5yo should be intolerably high - it is by far the most dangerous thing they do I would expect.

Babbleoff · 13/09/2023 19:09

YABU.

I still sit in with my 6yo. Its boring and i could be doing a million other things. Occasionally she does something daft and i think, thank god I'm sat here.

babbscrabbs · 13/09/2023 19:09

Yeah with the others I'm afraid.

Could you let them play in the sink if they like water / bubbles? I loved doing that around that age.

Will they listen to a story maybe, or even "help" you?

Kittybelle123 · 13/09/2023 19:10

I'm so sorry, I know how hard juggling your time must be. However, as someone who has lost an adult family member to drowning it's absolute NO from me. It only takes seconds. Give them a shorter bath (pop a two minute YouTube song on, and at the end it's time to get out), but please don't be away from them Flowers

TomatoSandwiches · 13/09/2023 19:11

Every year there is some tragic report about a young child drowning in a bath time accident and it's always followed by,

" I only turned my back for a minute, I only answered the door, only this, only that."

It's not worth the risk op, they don't need to soak in the tub, get them in, wash them, brush teeth and then let out, takes 20mins from filling the tub up to getting them out max.

backtoweights · 13/09/2023 19:12

It only takes a few seconds. Secondary drowning is a thing too.

12 children drowned in the bath in 2022 in the UK.: "In the majority of cases (82%) the child had been left alone in the bath. The most common reasons for leaving the child alone were taking a phone call, leaving the room to get something e.g. a towel, confusion about who was supervising the child or attending to a sibling or other young children"

MrsElsa · 13/09/2023 19:15

I regularly let my 3.5yo DC have a bath while I pop in and out. But at 2.5 years old I wouldn't. At that age I would put them in the kitchen sink while I did kitchen chores.

PP has a good idea about taking laundry in there to sort/fold.

Or simply use the time to thoroughly clean the bathroom.

Or.. maybe do yourself some beauty treatments like a face mask or do your eyebrows? Use the sink? Paint your toes? Something nice while you chat to DC.

TrishTrix · 13/09/2023 19:17

Oh god. Please don't.

I've seen several kids over my 20 year career in paediatrics who drowned in the bath and died or ended up brain damaged.

HousePlantNeglect · 13/09/2023 19:17

There are conflicting opinions on most aspects of parenting I'd say. But this is one of the things you'll get a unanimous 'YABU' about. It's just too dangerous.

My kids like a wind down in the bath so I use it to clean the bathroom, fold the washing into piles, do my bedtime face routine if I'm
not going out, use those little interdental brushes on my teeth (which I CBA to do at bedtime), pluck the random chin hair etc etc. if you've got loads on I can see how it's 20 mins to get stuff done but just make it stuff that you can do in the bathroom.

SeriouslySeriouslySeriously · 13/09/2023 19:18

Absolutely not. Drowning can be silent and take seconds theres a reason parents are told not to do it,

Your five year old shouldn't have the responsibility of his younger sibling's safety on his shoulders. The trauma you'd be causing if something did happen, a lifetime of him blaming himself too.

Look up LaurenTheMortician about what happens when parents choose to leave their children unsupervised around water. Even when supervised but distracted children have died.

I hope you're on the wind up to be honest. I totally get it's hard managing on your own but its up there with not using a car seat and holding a baby in your arms instead. It can be fine until one day its not.