MIL - unplanned stay!

[Lalaland1112]

I have been really upset about this the last couple of days so want to get some opinions.

I (32f) live with my husband (36m) with our 14 month old DD. We have recently moved into a beautiful new home this year in a rural area, near to my family. DH family live 2-3 hours away.

I am the main breadwinner, earning probably about 2-3 times that of my DH who is self-employed. He travels a lot for work and works unsociable hours (weekends mainly). I work more regular hours during the week but long days, around 40 hours during the week over 4 days. While at work it's a very high stress job, very full on, but I enjoy it for the most part.

Last weekend I went away on a girls trip for the first time since DD was born. DH picked up work last minute so invited my BIL and his wife to come down and help mind DD during day. BIL and MIL (75) came down instead - no problem.

The problem arises when I return after the trip on Sunday - BIL has gone back, MIL still remains. My DH returns from work later and we enjoy a nice dinner together. Monday I go to work, busy day as per usual while DH and MIL stay at home (DD in childcare Tues, Thurs, Friday). When I get home, we are all sitting around when DH says to MIL "no need to rush home" and that she can "stay until Christmas if she wants"!

This was never discussed. DH is going away this week from Wed-Fri for work and working during the day on Sat and Sun so wont be around. My MIL is lovely but cannot drive and has mild vision loss. She lives in an urban area and is used to having lots of resources in walking/public transport distance.

AIBU that this is too much to put on me around this unplanned stay during a working week? DH says I am being mean and rude to his elderly mother - I have never said anything directly to her as I don't feel she is the issue, rather DH expectations of my role!

Sorry for the lengthy post/rant 😮‍💨

Yes it was a storm out of a teacup about poor MIL . It goes deeper than that . It is the marriage .

Are you serious?

This twat wants OP to look after his mother whilst he’s away and calling her mean for not wanting to even though she works full time and has kids, and you think she’s making a storm in a teacup.

Even if MIL only stays 3 nights HE needs to be there to take care of his own mum.

And given OP’s last measured and reasonable post, it seems she’s waking up to the possibility she is married to a selfish cocklodger.

OP, you pay and do everything and his job means he picks and chooses work and his "work schedule" means he is not someone you can rely on.

Top that with he thinks SO little of what you do that he would add substantially to your load with an univited guest for months.

Spectacularly disrespectful.

I suspect you have chosen poorly.
Someone who's primary focus is themselves.

How quickly he called you mean, with all you do.

You are young with a long life ahead of you.

I wouldn't dream of having another child with this lazy non contributer, and I would be rethinking the whole relationship.

He sounds like a feckless teen and you sound the house parent.

Total ick. Impossible to respect a manchild.

Reach out to family and friends for support.