To be confused about my partner's nationality

[ForestryForever]

Good evening,
My partner's parents were both born in Wales. They both lived and grew up in Wales. As adults they both left Wales and lived in England, where they remained.
Whilst married and living in England, they had a baby - my partner. My partner was born, raised in and grew up in England, and still lives in England.
What nationality is my partner?

Very much this

British

Ask him, not us. Some people go with place of birth, some go with parents.

I was born and raised in the one country, my partner was born and raised in another, neither of those countries are in Britain. Our children were born and raised in England. They class themselves as English or British. Their choice.

Scottish is, among other things, an ethnic group distinct from, say, the Welsh, or indeed from Cornish people. The boy was half Scottish genetically, biologically, by ethnicity. It's a bit messed up to be honest that adults would be telling the poor kid that he's not Scottish. Do you tell kids raised in England etc but with one parent from, say, Tibet, that they're not in any way, at all, Tibetan? Because you know that would just be nasty, right?

In my eyes it’s the country you were born in - so English

I fully accept that another perspective would be that location might have less to do with it than heritage, so from that point of view he’d be Welsh.

My dads parents are both Welsh but he himself was born and raised in an England and definitely considers himself English.

I have a relative whose parents are English, and who lives in England but considers himself Welsh. Go figure!

I brought my children up in a country that I was not born in. My dc definitely identify with my country because I'm the one who brought them up.

I exposed them to the food, music, sports, tv programmes, traditions, history etc of the country I am from.

I don't think people who move to other countries just forget everything they have even known and change their culture to the one of wherever it is they moved to.

Mind you I bet if he travelled up there he wouldn't be seen as being Scottish with the lack of accent etc.

Yes, people who try to police identity are some of the people that get on my wick the most. My national identity is very complex (thanks parents) and it really grinds when people try to shove me into a box based on my accent or where I spent the most time as a child.

If your husband identifies as Welsh and you're trying to convince him he's English, knock it off. He's Welsh. Identity can be about the culture you were raised in rather than the land you had your feet on at the time.

The UK is a state, or a kingdom if you want to go there... 'Country' is kind of a colloquial term that can refer to either states or nations.

I'd call him English.

Same thing with my bestie but her parents are Scottish not Welsh. She insisted she's Scottish so I insist she demonstrates a Scottish accent and she absolutely can't 🤣 English it is then!

He's whatever one he feels most aligned to. Unless he feels aligned to both, in which case dual nationality.

Our opinions do not trump his lived experience.

@ginandtonicwithlimes he should take one of those DNA tests.

I still think he's Welsh but he might have some English ancestry. He's definitely British though, which anyone can be, but not everyone can be English

I think YABU to be confused about his nationality.

I imagine he's told you what it is, therefore you should not be confused.

Because this evening I was recounting a conversation I'd had with someone today. I told partner ".....and then I said to them that you're half Welsh, because your parents were Welsh but you were born in England and grew up in England...."
Before I could finish he hot really angry. Started ranting. "WHAT???? WHAT???? YOU TOLD THEM I'M HALF WELSH?!?!? HALF WELSH?!?!?!? I'M WELSH!!!! I AM NOT ENGLISH!!!! DON'T TELL PEOPLE I'M HALF WELSH HALF ENGLISH!!!!"
Then he started going in to one about Joanna Lumley being English, with English parents, born in India, but calls herself English despite being born in and living in India as a child. "SHE DOESN'T CALL HERSELF INDIAN JUST BECAUSE SHE WAS BORN IN INDIA DOES SHE?!?! CASE IN POINT!!!!".
So I'm wondering who's right.
And I don't get all this 'whatever he identifies with'. Surely there's a factual, objective answer, not a subjective one.

Makes no difference. Genes are genes. He was English by culture from the sounds of things but that's a different question.

That is sad. My accent doesn't reflect the nation of my identity.

Nell Gyn was meant to be of Welsh ancestry but everyone thinks of her as English because she was born in London. I don't see the difference?

“Everyone” no doubt means “English people” in this sentence. I have no problem thinking of her as Welsh. It’s really only English people who go around assuming that everyone familiar to them must by default be English.

Nationality is English. Heritage/Ethnicity is Welsh.

His only language is English.
He cannot even begin to speak Welsh.
Having said that, some Welsh people can't speak Welsh.

Surely there's a factual, objective answer, not a subjective one.
Yes, the factual answer is British as that is his legal nationality. There are no English or Welsh passports so he can identify as whichever. My friend who.was born and lived all her life in England to a French mother is bilingual and considers herself both French and English. Her nationality remains British.

There's no law that determines how Welsh or how English he feels.

I suspect he identifies as Welsh. And why not, and who cares.

I'm more Irish than some of the second generation Irish that I've had relationships with 🙄 yawn, you're not Irish.

I'm 3/4 Irish, 1/8 Welsh, 1/8 English. I identify as English as the plastic paddies are just really annoying.

I'm not entirely sure my math adds up there!

He probably does. The distance between England and Wales isn't far. Welsh heritage but English culture. Quite good for sport!

I don't know why you think that's funny. She's genetically, biologically Scottish. She is of Scottish ethnicity. Being culturally Scottish is entirely separate. Do you find it equally hilarious to tell people raised in England to Indian parents that they're not really Indian at all if they can't make curry, or don't wear saris or something?

You are so wrong and so insulting to your husband by invalidating his identity. His parents are both 100% genetically Welsh, than so is he. He was probably raised with more Welsh cultural influence in his family than English. So who's right - your husband. He knows who he is inside and how he feels.

Since you can't 'get it', maybe do some research into third culture kids and their experiences and crises with identity. What you are doing to your husband is actually damaging.