To think these things don’t matter and you should save money for dc instead?

[leapgro]

Genuinely interested as to whether it affects them etc.

DC coming up to 1, lots of people having big parties, even balloons costs 20 quid let alone everything else. Hiring venues etc. Same with expensive baby clothes, trips to legoland etc. Surely unless you enjoy this yourself/have enough money to waste, it’s not actually beneficial for the child? Or is it? Am I wrong?

Your child did not smile until age 3?

Mine first smiled at a few weeks old, and I did as much as I could to keep those smiles coming.

I didn't say 'well, this won't be in their long term memory, so no need to put up a Christmas tree or wrap presents.'

'I'll only make them happy when I know they will remember long term.'

What miserable people.

I have always had quite big bday parties - only have one child and l put money away for her future too. Spending £250 on a party once a year isn't going to change her life path by much.

My baby didn't need expensive crap to smile. Now he's 14 he still doesn't. My god some of you seem to think the only things that can bring pleasure joy and love is shit you can buy. Get off your high horse and start living.

Our 8 month old seemed to enjoy her brothers party recently, so I'm sure by 1 they would get something out if it.

It depends on what you value too. Social people will value parties/spending time with others etc, some people will value visiting different places and seeing nature, others will value collecting items, others will value a big house over travelling and so on.

It's lucky really, if everyone wanted the same things those things would probably be far more expensive and unattainable.

One notorious cash flasher parent at DS’s school once organised a theatre trip for her DD’s birthday ( allegedly) but had to cancel it as it clashed with a school music competition. I say allegedly because she advertised 30 full priced tickets on face book for the show. They apparently sold out super quick according to comments. Such an easy way to fake giving a super expensive party without having to spend a penny.
The tickets were over £50 each, so she was making it crystal clear how much she was spending on her DD, allegedly .

Its not for the baby. But for the parents. We had big birthday party for DS 1 year old party. I heard lots of people say it was too much, too flashy, etc. but i dont regret it. The memory is there forever. You can earn money again but you cant earn the time back.

@AliasGrape I am really tickled by the idea that we are all in thrall to Big Pumpkin

We had a garden party for DD2 for her first birthday. She won't remember it at all but she had a great time on the day being chased around by older kids and stealing cake from everyone's plates, my older DD still talks about it, and DH and I had a lovely day with friends and family and nice food.

Oh and the video of her toddling in to the room with her birthday balloons is so lovely, her mouth fell open and she went WOOOOOO when she saw them. And those balloons were played with every day until they got too wrinkly

But you're implying you're not even making an effort for Christmas 'because they won't remember'. It's not about 'expensive crap' it's about doing something out of the ordinary.

I think you have misunderstood how the expression ‘get off your high horse’ works

I am sure it won't be long before he is like any other teenager who wants all the labels.

We both work but are fortunate to not need to pay for childcare (opposing shifts). It’s the Paris one- we booked well in advance and had paid it up over the course of a good few months.

You seem really quite angry about how other people celebrate birthdays… it’s a waste of your energy you know.

Also, your child was 3 before they noticed everyone else opening Christmas presents when they weren’t?!

Trying to work out if this is sarcasm (I REALLY hope so) or if you really are that awfully miserable.

My youngest kid is 2 and very much understands and love Christmas, Easter and birthdays etc... She loved the Easter egg hunt so much we replicated it for her birthday. She had a blast.

My oldest was 11 months and 3 weeks at Christmas, he understood and loved every second of it. Granted my 3 month old mostly slept and my 6 month old was a bit confused at their first Christmas but by almost 1 my kid completely got it. Pulling out toys, ripping up wrapping and the biggest smile all day long.

This thread isn't about gifts and money really... its about EXPERIENCES. These are key to development regardless of if the long term memory is 'recallable' or not.

Its something you're claiming you didn't bother with until your kid was 3. You really aren't coming off enlightened but actually just really badly.

I don’t get designer baby clothes. But parties I think they can enjoy at any age. We’re planning a 1st birthday party at soft play, which our baby loves, and we hope that inviting other parents and babies means we build better links with them for future play dates etc. For £100 and some time making sandwiches or whatever I think it’s worth it.

3? How wasteful. They won't remember any of it. You should wait until they are at least 10.

I always wonder if the people who think birthdays are attention seeking/unnecessary are happy to have everyone ignore their birthdays? And if only developmentally important trips are acceptable, whether they stopped going anywhere for fun once they were 25 and their brain was fully developed?

it's MN, how can you miss all the posters who fall over themselves to explain that birthdays are for children only (in a short window of your childhood apparently), that's it's pathetic attention-seeking to celebrate birthdays when you are an adult hiding the bitterness that some of us are having fun and they are not

You never know what's round the corner and should live in the present.

Birthday money, Christmas money and pocket money should all be allowed to be spent by the child not put away in savings.

I think I avoid those threads because the performative misery is so boring. You can almost feel the yearning for the medal they will presumably have earned in heaven for having had as little joy in their lives as they could possibly manage.

The Ranting Fanatics and the Hypocritical Weirdos would be fantastic band names, or name changes if anyone is on the lookout

Agreed it's for the parents. We hired an area in a pub for a 1st birthday and enjoyed family and friends being there.

I don't agree with commercial tat though with helium balloons etc which are so environmentally unfriendly

We didn't do it for the 2nd child either as by then we were too poor, tired and couldn't be bothered 😂