To think that having a bbq on a Saturday afternoon is perfectly acceptable?

[fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft]

I live on a new build estate and a group of neighbours have for,ed a nice friendship group. On Saturday afternoon one of the group hosted a small bbq , planned from 3-9. There were 10 of us to begin with but people drifted off . We were sat around a table in the garden, the Alexa speaker on the doorstep playing the radio but not loudly as we were all chatting.

At 7pm a bloke appeared at the back gate to say he was trying to get his 1 year old to bed and would we turn the music off. We did but continued to sit in the garden .

At 8 pm a post appeared on the community Facebook page saying that people having bbqs were selfish and had no regard for parents trying to put their little,ones to bed in weather we were not equipped for and with no option to close their windows .

I responded simply saying peaceful enjoyment of your own garden is not prohibited, that yes they did have an option to close the windows and this was the first bbq my friends have had in the 2 years they've lived there , that we weren't exactly having a rave , that we all have or had children, that having kids doesnt give you autonomy to tell others what to do and that if they didn't want to hear other people living on an estate wasnt a good idea.
I also said we were planning on moving inside the house at 9pm
Then the insult's started. I did respond (I know I shouldn't have) saying perhaps if anyone had an issue they could come and knock on the door and discuss it like adults instead of being keyboard warriors.someone
Posted a copy of the councils nuisance noise policy ( which ironically showed night hours to be between 11pm and 7am ! ) this was 8 pm

More insults . Gifs with popcorn . Someone said " i suggest you blah blah blah blah blah .
I lost it . I said I suggest you fuck off before I turn the music back on

Today the whinging post had been removed

What the fuck is wrong with people ? It was a sedate afternoon bbq consisting of 10 people aged 35 ~ 50, not an all night rave !
Aibu ?

@fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft now I know you haven't been well and probably want to have a good time- don't blame you, but if I was your neighbour I would have liked an invite- even if I said no - we are a really sociable couple- def not fun spongers- but have experienced neighbours not asking us and going on loudly till 1am - and we were more pissed off that they hadn't invited us!!

@fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft can I say though I'm glad you had a lovely day as I know you've been through the mill

Our neighbours were out in similar circumstances and woke my 2 year old up at almost midnight, she was subsequently up for 5 hours. Of course I had a grumble at the time but it happens so rarely I can't grudge them it, I'm not sure when people became so upset at people throwing an occasional party, particularly at weekends

We had one precious parent complaining about people mowing lawns at 6pm as her child was snout to go to bed. Rather than go and speak to him as he maybe hadn’t realised this she just moaned on Facebook. I said ‘go and speak to them!’ and got abuse back.

The BBQ was not unreasonable but the rest was really childish. Why were you on Facebook whilst spending time with friends? I would be mortified to learn someone in my group was fighting with and cursing at a neighbor over our get together. Were you loudly complaining about the man at this point, too?

As was completely correct because the request was completely unreasonable.

I say this as a communally living former nightshift worker. Living around others comes with a reasonable expectation of noise. If it's a deal breaker or makes life unbearable for you then you need to be somewhere else.

You posted sweary replies on FB. That is not prosocial behaviour.

I just feel the way to win this would have been 'thanks for letting us know about the radio, hope your baby sleeps' on FB and then there'd be no drama.

Why escalate?

Right, but....no one has to go around in silence. There's nothing abnormal or unreasonable about having some friends round and socialising in your back garden on a Saturday afternoon/evening. I would say even if the OP and their friends were loud, (or louder than they think they were being) - so what? Even if you would prefer peace and quiet ultimately you don't have a god given right to that, and if you live near others whether you have the economic choice or not, you will sometimes hear them, and that's normal.

Now, if a neighbour were doing this really frequently and regularly, and going later into the evening on a really regular basis, having loud parties all the time, then fair enough, I think there are grounds for complaint. But not the odd bit of socialising, that's just normal life.

The neighbour didn't post until an hour after it had been resolved. So the complaint in the post was about sometime daring to have a party until 7pm on a Saturday night

There was someone across the street in our neighborhood who would play music outside and the sound carried and was loud. He probably thought it was a reasonable level but it was disturbing the peace. Something to keep in mind. 4 or 5 hours of music apparently loud enough that a neighbor came over and asked you to please turn it down as he had to put baby to bed. Remember he had to listen to your music playing outside for four hours before he said anything. The sound may have carried more loudly than you think.

Well now, based on further replies, I just think you’re unnecessarily aggressive and completely oblivious to the fact that if you are actually considerate you’re generally able to take on board when someone tells you you’re not from their pov. It’s not consideration if it’s completely on your terms only.

As for the irony of slamming ‘keyboard warriors’ on a thread on the internet on a site you’re probably confident your neighbour will never come across….

Let it go. Why is this still setting you off on Monday morning fgs?

I can't be the only person who is thinking 'so you're racist but think you're not because you don't complain much".

Nope. I read that slightly open mouthed..:

I've reported the post.

You’re fine OP. We have similar issues here from the work from home brigade. “How are we supposed to work when there is so much building work/grass cutting??” ohh I dunno how about you go back to the office?? It is not for the rest of us to curtail our lives to facilitate yours.

I work from home two days per week btw. It would never occur to me to start moaning about other people’s noise during the day.

I do sympathise with trying to get small children to sleep and understand the unreasonable urge to shout at everyone to shut up. But you don’t. Because it’s not on everyone else to facilitate your child’s sleep.

You sound nice, not

entitled or what

its hot, how stupid to suggest they close windows

you live on an estate, you need to show consideration. I get frustrated with loud talking.

We are ALL entitled to peaceful enjoyment of our property

I get frustrated with loud talking

I’m going to suggest that living amongst people may not be for you 🫤

Thank you so much that's kind

I'm suffering for it today and can't walk or get shoes on but it was lovely to just do something normal for once !

Yes quite, but the op abandoned the moral high ground by posting sweary replies.

The way to win in these circs is to be thoroughly reasonable.

Having just read OP's other thread, it seems she had the opposite of a lovely day and was up all night crying.

For OP

OP you did nothing wrong!! When people become parents they sometimes also become very entitled and act like the whole world should revolve around them and their precious offspring! They should try living next door to my neighbour who thinks it's perfectly acceptable to sit in the hot tub screeching drunkenly along to her music at 1am, 2am and even 3am.

Aww thanks Vye

That was the day after . I think I'd overdone things a bit physically this weekend so that yesterday was a blow but I've had my cry and I'm feeling a bit better

(I just want to let my cousins tyres down ) but I won't .