To think that having a bbq on a Saturday afternoon is perfectly acceptable?

[fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft]

I live on a new build estate and a group of neighbours have for,ed a nice friendship group. On Saturday afternoon one of the group hosted a small bbq , planned from 3-9. There were 10 of us to begin with but people drifted off . We were sat around a table in the garden, the Alexa speaker on the doorstep playing the radio but not loudly as we were all chatting.

At 7pm a bloke appeared at the back gate to say he was trying to get his 1 year old to bed and would we turn the music off. We did but continued to sit in the garden .

At 8 pm a post appeared on the community Facebook page saying that people having bbqs were selfish and had no regard for parents trying to put their little,ones to bed in weather we were not equipped for and with no option to close their windows .

I responded simply saying peaceful enjoyment of your own garden is not prohibited, that yes they did have an option to close the windows and this was the first bbq my friends have had in the 2 years they've lived there , that we weren't exactly having a rave , that we all have or had children, that having kids doesnt give you autonomy to tell others what to do and that if they didn't want to hear other people living on an estate wasnt a good idea.
I also said we were planning on moving inside the house at 9pm
Then the insult's started. I did respond (I know I shouldn't have) saying perhaps if anyone had an issue they could come and knock on the door and discuss it like adults instead of being keyboard warriors.someone
Posted a copy of the councils nuisance noise policy ( which ironically showed night hours to be between 11pm and 7am ! ) this was 8 pm

More insults . Gifs with popcorn . Someone said " i suggest you blah blah blah blah blah .
I lost it . I said I suggest you fuck off before I turn the music back on

Today the whinging post had been removed

What the fuck is wrong with people ? It was a sedate afternoon bbq consisting of 10 people aged 35 ~ 50, not an all night rave !
Aibu ?

The responses on here are wild.

We never have people round to our garden, we do have bbq’s and small fire pits with marshmallows - now I know there are people seething behind their curtains at our audacity to cook meat and expose them to smoke at 6pm. What dull and miserable lives you lead, where a little noise upsets you so much. I feel sorry for you.

And would people please actually take a second to read properly - they are the OP’s neighbours! The people a the party are her neighbours ffs - albeit not directly next door. But they live in neighbouring properties, which is how they have come to know each other.

I do agree that replying on Facebook was silly - most people who saw the post would have thought the person posting was a bit of a dick, but not replied. As someone else said, people who post on these groups are just that type of person.

In all honesty I wouldn't have responded on the fb page.
It just becomes entertainment for the neighbourhood.

This is why I’m not in my local Facebook page.
It’s not reasonable to complain about people having a normal BBQ.

The OP lost the argument by admitting they plan to have a "summer party in Marbella" next year. I think now everyone immediately knows what sort of person @fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft might be...

Whilst it was unreasonable to get into a facebook row, you were right. It's not unreasonable to have a BBQ and it wasn't like it was late or you were making excessive noise. I always think it's nice people are enjoying their gardens especially as it's fairly rare we get nice enough weather! Our neighbours are very social and they'd often be out enjoying the sun with friends when we were trying to get DS to sleep as a baby, but that's the way it goes- I'm sure their child has been heard by others when they're having a lie in/middle of the night or whatever else.

I think you are unreasonable for playing music. Inflicting your music taste on someone else all afternoon is torture

God it was a commercial radio station playing easy listening not a bloody live death metal band

Go away you utter snob ! There are parts of Marbella that are quite upmarket and I've never been

I usually go to Thailand or Caribbean actually , it was the hosts idea and we all said oooo yeah let's do it

We are having a New Year's Eve party tho in fancy dress if that makes it likely you would t want to know us

Snobbery at its finest

If you are ever captured you have an unpleasant shock coming.

It's perfectly normal and reasonable to have a BBQ in your garden on a Saturday afternoon. You turned music off at 7. I would have thought it reasonable until 9pm. Your neighbours sound dreadful, oblivious of their DC screeching in the garden is any different to music playing.

I love the smell of a BBQ and feel jealous!

You did nothing wrong.

The aggressive tone of the updates have made me feel more sympathy towards the complaining neighbour.

This level of conflict is draining, arguing on FB etc.

I had some neighbours who never did anything actually reportable, but everyone was glad when they moved nonetheless, sometimes it's just about the vibes being given off.

@fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft
@ArcticLingered could go to your fancy dress party as Hyacinth Bucket

Tbf it doesn't sound like a very banging party if you spent most of it telling people on Facebook to fuck off. So yeah, not exactly crazy.

Maybe in addition to the loudness of your conversation your neighbour was annoyed by your dullness?

I spent all of 2 minutes responding

And I'm not aggressive just beyond the age where I suffer in silence

I only responded ecause the others were annoyed y it and usually I'm the diplomat

Adults can decide whether or not children are permitted to be noisy. If they aren't too lazy to be bothered.

As to the BBQ, it's a perfectly normal social event on a summer evening. People who don't like it need to investigate white noise machines.

This.

Definitely not unreasonable. We just moved into a new build estate too... you could drop a pin and someone would hear it in the street as there's no foliage anywhere yet to absorb sounds. That doesn't mean I would begrudge anyone for enjoying their new home/garden! (Unless it was every weekend, and they were outside, music blarring until midnight of course... there are limits!)

Ignore them whilst they get the stick out from their arse.

Not U at all to be having a BBQ and enjoying the garden at 7 pm on a Saturday. It’s barely evening at that time!

Yes people want to get their kids down early in this country but honestly, I expect it would be hard to get a baby down in the hot weather anyway. If they put a fan on it would also generate “white” type noise to cover anything going on outside.

BUT I would have ignored the initial post. It does no good to feed these things.

Go away you utter snob ! There are parts of Marbella that are quite upmarket and I've never been

Perfect! 🙄

I feel so sorry for your neighbours trying to get a baby to sleep in the heat. They must be exhausted. I wouldn't worry though OP you'll get loads of support here from the many, many posters who despise parents and children.