To think I’m NOT a teeny tiny foodie

[orangita]

Or maybe I am and I just don’t realise it🥴

I work in an office and we’ve been incredibly busy recently, made worse by the fact we’re extremely unstaffed. It’s been stressful and frustrating and over the last few months we’ve had several occasions where our manager has bought us pizza or ice cream to say thank you. I never accept it but I don’t make a big show about saying no, I don’t harp on about it being unhealthy etc I just say ‘thank you anyway but no thanks!’ when they come round asking for orders. But now people have started rolling their eyes and passing comment about the fact I don’t want anything asking why not and what’s wrong with me and why I’m not eating etc and now people somehow think it’s because I’m one of those annoying people that make a big show about not eating (eg ‘omg I am sooo full!!!!’ After eating half a biscuit lol) but that’s not the case at all and I’ve never ever said anything like that. The reason I don’t want anything is because I’m lactose intolerant and it will literally go straight through me and the last place I want to have cramps and an upset stomach is work! I only once agreed to get an ice cream and picked the only dairy free option and somehow ended up getting a dairy option which I didn’t realise 30 minutes later when I literally had to leave work I was so unwell. So now I just politely say no thanks etc. I have explained that the reason I don’t want anything is because pizza, chocolate, ice cream etc has dairy and I’d rather not but somehow people still roll their eyes at me when I don’t have an ice cream at my desk and they have been passing comments suggesting I’m one of those teeny tiny annoying people and it’s really starting to irritate me because that’s not me at all. I’m a size 6 but only through lucky genetics absolutely nothing to do with my diet which is atrocious tbh- I had half (dairy free) cake for breakfast today lol. I don’t care about calories but I care about being unwell at work

am I being unreasonable to feel slightly annoyed at this?? Everytime they order a treat for the office I genuinely dread it because my colleagueswill be rolling their eyes at me and passing comments under their breath just because i don’t want something

OP, as you're learning from this thread, people are thick, rude, judgemental, and don't listen to a fucking word you say.

(Also love the person having a pop at you for mentioning your size when they've managed to shoehorn the fact that they're vegan into their comment when literally no one asked, and they don't see the irony of that at all because... well as mentioned. Thick, rude and judgemental.)

Anyway. I have no advice really, just sympathy. If it were me I'd just take the ice cream and then have to go home ill every time, leaving them even more short staffed. Maybe they'd be able to rub together the two braincells they apparently collectively share and make the connection.

(Also love the person having a pop at you for mentioning your size when they've managed to shoehorn the fact that they're vegan into their comment when literally no one asked, and they don't see the irony of that at all because... well as mentioned. Thick, rude and judgemental.)

🤣 It’s for religious reasons that I eat vegan foods in situations like OP describes so I know they are ok to eat. My point was that I rarely get questioned and it’s even less likely if you explain it’s a very necessary medical issue that could make you ill, rather than something that people often see more as a preference like my religious beliefs or vegan/vegetarian diets.

Just say fgs.

I’m even worse that you. I won’t eat cheap chocolate or shop bought cake.
I just say ! It’s grim and a waste of calories.
they laugh. we move on

also fake coffee.

I'm lactose intolerant but I'll some chips if there's any going. Cheers!

@ZolaBudd

I just wanted to say your name. My hero!

I can’t eat milk. It makes me ill.

i said before it makes me unwell

why do you keep trying to make me eat milk? 😀

Etc.

I had a similar situation at work. I have significant hearing loss in one ear and kept get 'jokey' comments about being deaf, along with miming etc. Apparently because I'm quite young to have hearing problems, people thought I had a wax build up or something. Anyway, the way I dealt with it was to ask our manager if I could do a session on hearing loss in our team meeting. It was only 5-10 minutes but I set out how it effects me and how to communicate with me effectively. It shut the whole thing down and I think some colleagues were embarrassed but it did make the comments stop. Could you do something similar?
I'd also question how your manager is dealing with this. They should be talking to the people involved and reminding them to be respectful.

Honestly, why do people care what other healthy adult people eat?! It's bizarre to me, but some genuinely seem offended by it for some reason. Do they feel guilty for indulging in 'unnecessary' food if not everyone else in the room is also eating it? Is it the same as the people who feel judged if someone in the group doesn't drink alcohol?

OP's lactose intolerance is a compelling reason for not wanting to join in, but if she were a teeny tiny foodie or someone simply watching what they eat, what would anyone have to gain by being obnoxious or insistent about it?

As you've tried explaining, I'd try to ignore their reactions from now on, or just say the same thing ('Sorry, dairy makes me ill.') every time and hope it eventually sank in (or they got bored with asking). Just put in the least amount of effort necessary and remember that they're the weird ones in this situation.

Order the pizza you want "NO CHEESE".
Check with the ice-cream place whether they have a non-dairy flavour, order that.
If you're given the wrong one, swap it and make sure everyone knows cheese & cream give you diarrhoea!

I don't see why it's up to you to have to explain why you don't want something to eat when they're taking orders. It doesn't matter whether you have a dietary issue, religious or personal preference, health (including mental health) condition - it's nobody else's business. Sadly, it seems your unaware colleagues do want it spelled out. Perhaps you could speak to your manager/person who does the ordering and put the responsibility onto them to be more inclusive, or at least shut down the comments and eye rolling.

SHE DOESN’T WANT THE FUCKING PIZZA AND ICE CREAM, EVEN IF IT’S DAIRY FREE.

And breathe.

"I'd rather not have dairy" sounds like a fad diet. Just make it clear you're lactose intolerant and there'll be consequences. You shouldn't have to justify yourself but that's the most effective way

This.

What kind of workplace is this where people stuff themselves with pizza and ice cream like kids a birthday party? It's puerile and very unhealthy too.

I'd challenge them and complain to your manager or HR if this doesn't stop. They'r regaining up on you and also promoting unhealthy habits at work.

We really aren't that evolved a species are we? Your colleague are basic!

Sorry, I must have missed that.

I'm sorry, but as a fellow 'teeny tiny,' who also follows a restricted diet (vegan) I think you're being a bit U to be so bothered. Refusing food when you're slim is taken by some to be either a shallow obsession with staying that way, or a rebuke of larger people who accept the food. There's nothing you can do to prevent that at the default with some people, but you can usually head it off with an explanation. If people still roll their eyes it's because they're not nice people and/or they dont like you very much. Which is a problem that goes beyond diet.

I've read OP's posts back - she didn't say that? She said they got the orders mixed up. I was trying to helpfully point out that you can order pizza w/o cheese. Ime (am also dairy intolerant) it comes with "NO CHEESE" written on the box.

You need to practice your " old-fashioned" stare( pursed lips, possibly raised eyebrows), it's the office-friendly version of "oh do fuck off and stop being so childish ".
If people are rude enough to pass comment on what you eat in way that makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to smile, or apologise or smooth over anything. If offered you just say " No thanks", and cast your eyes back to your work. If they anything even slightly derogatory, turn towards them and give them the stare. Then go back to your work. You don't need to utter a word.

Off topic @orangita and this was this may have been mentioned and may not be relevant for you but my mum found lactase tablets allow her to have dairy without issue. (Intolerance not allergy). Just in case it was of use to you.

Same here and whilst it would be nice to be included, I'm not sure I'd trust other people to actually provide things that were actually gluten free.

Some of these replies are bonkers!

So many people making suggestions as to what the OP could choose from the menu instead. Just to appease the people in her workplace!

I'm not lactose intolerant but I can use my imagination to understand why she might not want to choose something else.

More than anything, why does anyone else care? I wouldn't partake in pizza and ice cream at work because pizza leaves me really bloated and I simply don't like ice cream. Our place gets in Krispy Kreme doughnuts occasionally. I don't have one because they're horrible! No one comments or rolls their eyes at me 🤷🏻‍♀️

And I think her size is relevant if they think that is why she is refusing because some people see looking after yourself physically as a flaw. They can't resist the junk food juggernaut and can't accept others feel differently. As someone else has said, it doesn't matter what her reason is for not wanting to participate, and she shouldn't have to divulge personal medical information to them to excuse herself either.

I'd use the term allergy. I have a dairy allergy. I'm always taken seriously.

YANBU for not wanting the ice cream.

But YABU for using the term "teeny tiny foodie". Awful.

Tell them every single time - no thanks, I'm lactose intolerant and don't want to risk it.
If they keep insisting, ask them what lactose free options have they considered for you, because if not, you're not ordering anything!
If they still don't get the message I'd be blunt - no thanks, I don't want the shits in an hour.

Lying about having an allergy when you have an intolerance is a sure fire way for everyone to not take OP seriously whatsoever. Do you actually have an allergy or are you lying just to get people to take notice?

I have a lactose intolerance and I just manage it myself, no drama, its quite easy to monitor what I do and don’t eat.