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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I’m NOT a teeny tiny foodie

142 replies

orangita · 10/09/2023 20:56

Or maybe I am and I just don’t realise it🥴

I work in an office and we’ve been incredibly busy recently, made worse by the fact we’re extremely unstaffed. It’s been stressful and frustrating and over the last few months we’ve had several occasions where our manager has bought us pizza or ice cream to say thank you. I never accept it but I don’t make a big show about saying no, I don’t harp on about it being unhealthy etc I just say ‘thank you anyway but no thanks!’ when they come round asking for orders. But now people have started rolling their eyes and passing comment about the fact I don’t want anything asking why not and what’s wrong with me and why I’m not eating etc and now people somehow think it’s because I’m one of those annoying people that make a big show about not eating (eg ‘omg I am sooo full!!!!’ After eating half a biscuit lol) but that’s not the case at all and I’ve never ever said anything like that. The reason I don’t want anything is because I’m lactose intolerant and it will literally go straight through me and the last place I want to have cramps and an upset stomach is work! I only once agreed to get an ice cream and picked the only dairy free option and somehow ended up getting a dairy option which I didn’t realise 30 minutes later when I literally had to leave work I was so unwell. So now I just politely say no thanks etc. I have explained that the reason I don’t want anything is because pizza, chocolate, ice cream etc has dairy and I’d rather not but somehow people still roll their eyes at me when I don’t have an ice cream at my desk and they have been passing comments suggesting I’m one of those teeny tiny annoying people and it’s really starting to irritate me because that’s not me at all. I’m a size 6 but only through lucky genetics absolutely nothing to do with my diet which is atrocious tbh- I had half (dairy free) cake for breakfast today lol. I don’t care about calories but I care about being unwell at work

am I being unreasonable to feel slightly annoyed at this?? Everytime they order a treat for the office I genuinely dread it because my colleagueswill be rolling their eyes at me and passing comments under their breath just because i don’t want something

OP posts:
underneaththeash · 10/09/2023 23:07

My Wednesday job is similar - we always take it in turns to bring something nice in for lunch. But it's optional if you eat it.

I don't want the calories from pastries, doughnuts, cakes ice cream etc. I don't like them particularly and would rather save it for a nice glass of wine at the end of the day.

I usually bring something healthier , fruit, yoghurt and granola or I do sometimes make a less sugary cake.

DanceForAMoment · 10/09/2023 23:08

Who the hell are all these people that so many of them do this? I wouldn’t eat pizza or ice cream either unless it’s vegan. Apart from a few idiots over the years, I’ve not had any issues. I’d expect to not have any idiots saying things or rolling eyes if it was due to a medical issue.

However, I think wanting to talk about this and telling us you’re a size 6 unnecessarily, could be a sign that you are in fact a mumsnet teeny tiny. 🤣

Original poster
orangita · 10/09/2023 23:10

@DanceForAMoment hardly? I mentioned it for context for why they think I’m obsessed with health and weight. I only mentioned it to explain how I’m not and I don’t give a shit what I eat, as long as it doesn’t have dairy and won’t give me the shits. And I’m entitled to talk about it when I’m getting upsetting comments at work towards me for no reason, thanks

OP posts:
DanceForAMoment · 10/09/2023 23:10

I usually bring something healthier , fruit, yoghurt and granola or I do sometimes make a less sugary cake.

You take granola into work as a treat for others? 😅

DanceForAMoment · 10/09/2023 23:15

And I’m entitled to talk about it when I’m getting upsetting comments at work towards me for no reason, thanks

Of course you are. I’m entitled to think that may make you a teeny tiny foodie....that is what your thread was is asking after all. If you don’t want opinions, don’t ask the question.

OP: AIBU to think I’m not a teeny tiny foodie.

Me: Yes, YABU (with my reasoning)

OP: You’re not allowed to disagree with me. 😂

Original poster
orangita · 10/09/2023 23:17

That’s fine, and I’m entitled to disagree with your opinion, which I do ☺️ if me mentioning my size is enough to make me a teeny tiny foodie then I guess that’s I am. Or am I supposed to be embarrassed of it or something?

OP posts:
HarrietJet · 10/09/2023 23:18

DanceForAMoment · 10/09/2023 23:10

I usually bring something healthier , fruit, yoghurt and granola or I do sometimes make a less sugary cake.

You take granola into work as a treat for others? 😅

The co workers must be beside themselves with joy; getting fruit, yogurt and granola as a "treat".

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 10/09/2023 23:19

Cheese only has a low level of lactose in it, so most people with a lactose intolerance are fine with cheese and therefore pizza. If this level of lactose affects the OP, then she is SEVERELY lactose intolerant. (I am lactose intolerant but am fine with pizza, but eating ice cream leaves me feeling bloated for hours so I usually have sorbet instead).

That's probably the reason the op is getting this reaction.... because the level to which she is affected is unusual.

Op, maybe offer to go and help with the order? Ask whoever is buying if you can tag along and see if there is an option that you CAN have? The ice cream place might have sorbets which are dairy free so would be fine.

But otherwise I'm afraid that this reaction si what most people with allergies face all the time.

HarrietJet · 10/09/2023 23:20

orangita · 10/09/2023 23:17

That’s fine, and I’m entitled to disagree with your opinion, which I do ☺️ if me mentioning my size is enough to make me a teeny tiny foodie then I guess that’s I am. Or am I supposed to be embarrassed of it or something?

Why mention you're a size 6, then? It's not remotely relevant, yet you had to shoehorn it in there anyway.

DanceForAMoment · 10/09/2023 23:21

@orangita You can feel however you like. 🤣

In my opinion, people that talk about food and tell you their size unnecessarily often have food/body issues. 🤷🏻‍♀️

If you don’t, that’s good, but you literally asked the question and I gave my opinion, which I stand by.

Original poster
orangita · 10/09/2023 23:21

Because that’s exactly why they think I’m obsessed with my weight and calories and health! Ffs

OP posts:
neilyoungismyhero · 10/09/2023 23:22

I would ask them why they're doing the eye rolling and what's that all about? I've never indulged in work food fests either but my colleagues have never given a shit whether I do or don't.

4catsaremylife · 10/09/2023 23:22

orangita · 10/09/2023 20:57

Don’t even know if teeny tiny foodie is the correct name for it lol, I just meant those people that are like omg I had an entire salad I won’t eat for 3 days now!!! Or the people that judge others and say things like ‘do you know how many calories are in that??’ Etc etc, we’ve all known people like that and it’s so annoying and I don’t want people to think that’s me!

Nothing useful to add but sympathy from me I'm coeliac and can guarantee I never get any consideration at work.

DanceForAMoment · 10/09/2023 23:22

The co workers must be beside themselves with joy; getting fruit, yogurt and granola as a "treat".

🤣 I actually like all those foods, but it did make me laugh.

Original poster
orangita · 10/09/2023 23:24

@DanceForAMoment Ok but I genuinely don’t see where I’ve talked unnecessarily about food!? I’ve only mentioned it in relation to my intolerance and the fact that they have been passing comments about me being health/weight obsessed and acting as if I’m obsessed with calories when I’m not! I don’t give a flying fuck about calories UNLESS it involves lactose

OP posts:
Original poster
orangita · 10/09/2023 23:30

@OrderOfTheKookaburra yeah it’s weird, if I eat say a biscuit with milk powder in it I’ll feel a bit of discomfort but generally be ok, but if I eat something like pizza it will be utterly horrendous. Ice cream is even worse. I ended up needing a colonoscopy recently because my gp sent me to a&e after I was bleeding badly and the only conclusion was that my stomach was horrendously upset because I had eaten an ice cream. I do think stress etc contributes to it as the reaction is generally worse when I’m stressed and tired too. I’m babbling now, apologies!

its just so frustrating because I literally don’t make a fuss of it at all but yet other people are the ones making it a bigger deal and harping on about it. I don’t particularly care about it and I’m happy not being involved but they are the ones making it a big deal. it’s a good idea to help with the ordering etc, honestly I can’t be bothered because I don’t care about it in the first place but at least it would stop the comments etc! 👍🏻

OP posts:
Moonamoona · 10/09/2023 23:31

i haven’t logged into mumsnet for months and some of the responses on this post remind me exactly why.

OP - 80% of the AIBU poll say you are NOT being unreasonable. Bear that in mind when you read some of the intolerant; ill-informed and judgemental comments on this post.

I think I’d be inclined to have a private conversation with the boss about why the “rewards” for being put under stress are needed. Surely it’s better to manage a team in a way that seeks to avoid excessive stress and the need for knee-jerk “rewards”? Honestly I’d be looking for a more rewarding work environment. Your dairy intolerance isn’t the issue, your borderline toxic work environment is.

Alargeoneplease89 · 10/09/2023 23:34

HarrietJet · 10/09/2023 23:18

The co workers must be beside themselves with joy; getting fruit, yogurt and granola as a "treat".

Show quote history

Yes, I would because healthier options are normally more expensive and they make you feel more awake and less hangry in comparison.

determinedtomakethiswork · 10/09/2023 23:49

Refuse the pizza and have an ice lolly instead.

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 10/09/2023 23:50

Does taking some Lactase in a tablet help? I take 1 or 2 before having a shake and it helps. Because the lactase helps process the lactose in my gut.

But, could it be an actual milk protein intolerance? Which is much rarer than a lactose intolerance, have you had this tested?

Daffidale · 11/09/2023 00:09

TBH your description of their behaviour is borderline bullying IMO. I would mention to your boss/manager both that you find the increasing comments upsetting, and the level of your lactose intolerance. They should be taking steps to stop this nonsense, and to ensure that their steps to reward the team are inclusive for you.

GrumpyPanda · 11/09/2023 00:53

The fact that they got your order mixed up means that either your colleagues doing the ordering or the ice cream place or both didn't fully understand about your condition. Your order should have been specially and unmistakably labelled. So that does seem to indicate your being too low-key and polite about your condition. Getting involved with orders might indeed help. I get you saying you'd rather just opt out but little rituals like this are about community-building as well, which would be why you're getting those reactions.

And no, none of it has anything whatsoever to do with being a foodie 😄

JMSA · 11/09/2023 00:58

You poor thing SadFlowers
They just sound a bit thick.

FictionalCharacter · 11/09/2023 01:03

Bloody hell, there are some nasty replies here.
I have a food intolerance which causes IBS, and it's really quite upsetting when people clearly think that I'm making the condition up or just have a food fad.
OP your colleagues are not taking you seriously, or they just don't get it. Time to be more direct.
"Doris, please stop rolling your eyes at me. I'm lactose intolerant. It's a physical condition. If I eat this food I'll have agonising gut pain and diarrhoea for 24 hours. Sometimes it causes bleeding from my arse. I'm not going to put myself through that just to be polite and eat your food".

WhateverMate · 11/09/2023 01:07

orangita · 10/09/2023 20:57

Don’t even know if teeny tiny foodie is the correct name for it lol, I just meant those people that are like omg I had an entire salad I won’t eat for 3 days now!!! Or the people that judge others and say things like ‘do you know how many calories are in that??’ Etc etc, we’ve all known people like that and it’s so annoying and I don’t want people to think that’s me!

I just meant those people that are like omg I had an entire salad I won’t eat for 3 days now!!!

Except we don’t all know people like that. Literally no-one knows anyone who has actually uttered those words.

Ignore them or start asking for food that you can be included in eating.