To think I’m NOT a teeny tiny foodie

[orangita]

Or maybe I am and I just don’t realise it🥴

I work in an office and we’ve been incredibly busy recently, made worse by the fact we’re extremely unstaffed. It’s been stressful and frustrating and over the last few months we’ve had several occasions where our manager has bought us pizza or ice cream to say thank you. I never accept it but I don’t make a big show about saying no, I don’t harp on about it being unhealthy etc I just say ‘thank you anyway but no thanks!’ when they come round asking for orders. But now people have started rolling their eyes and passing comment about the fact I don’t want anything asking why not and what’s wrong with me and why I’m not eating etc and now people somehow think it’s because I’m one of those annoying people that make a big show about not eating (eg ‘omg I am sooo full!!!!’ After eating half a biscuit lol) but that’s not the case at all and I’ve never ever said anything like that. The reason I don’t want anything is because I’m lactose intolerant and it will literally go straight through me and the last place I want to have cramps and an upset stomach is work! I only once agreed to get an ice cream and picked the only dairy free option and somehow ended up getting a dairy option which I didn’t realise 30 minutes later when I literally had to leave work I was so unwell. So now I just politely say no thanks etc. I have explained that the reason I don’t want anything is because pizza, chocolate, ice cream etc has dairy and I’d rather not but somehow people still roll their eyes at me when I don’t have an ice cream at my desk and they have been passing comments suggesting I’m one of those teeny tiny annoying people and it’s really starting to irritate me because that’s not me at all. I’m a size 6 but only through lucky genetics absolutely nothing to do with my diet which is atrocious tbh- I had half (dairy free) cake for breakfast today lol. I don’t care about calories but I care about being unwell at work

am I being unreasonable to feel slightly annoyed at this?? Everytime they order a treat for the office I genuinely dread it because my colleagueswill be rolling their eyes at me and passing comments under their breath just because i don’t want something

I’ve taken to telling people I don’t want raging diarrhoea. It shuts them up, I find.

Although, if this thread is anything to go by….

@criminallyvulgar thank you lol I was starting to even question if the comments were serious lol!

If you’ve told them and they’re not accommodating your dietary requirements is there a HR dept or manager you can speak to? You could explain that it looks like you’re snubbing the offer but really you’re being left out of a treat/reward.
Suggest some dairy free options they might not have thought of - burritos, bagels, Krispy Kreme do vegan doughnuts.

God OP sorry but you sound like really hard work. Just explain your dietary needs and if they can't be met bring your own alternative so you can join in somehow.
It's the lack of finding a way joining that they're reacting to I think, not assuming it's about skinniness/health.
I have two kids with severe multiple allergies and taking responsibility for finding ways to be safely involved with group events is one of my key teaching/supporting areas for them.

I totally get why it's easier to say no, as a dairy free ice cream looks identical to a dairy ice cream and can get muddled up - as you found out - but I was thinking if you got something totally different - chicken strips, for example, then it couldn't get muddled and reinforces the message I CANT EAT DAIRY without constantly having to remind them.

If they always order from the same place you could even give the place a call and check whats in any coatings etc.

Just say "It gives me the shits" because they obviously can't grasp the meaning of lactose intolerance.

@YukoandHiro Christ almighty can you genuinely not read? I’ve said about 5 times now I HAVE explained my diet to them! And it is about skinniness and health when they’ve been passing comments to me about both (again, in my OP)

and I do take part ffs, I don’t walk about the office because they’re all eating ice cream lol. It’s not exactly a party it’s just people eating ice cream whilst working at the desk, I just sit at my desk minus the ice cream

Perhaps reframe it as an allergy and they may view it differently and actually understand?

YANBU as I was going through your post the first thing I though was that you must be lactose intolerant. I don’t know what’s wrong with your colleagues. I am too. I think I read somewhere that 60 - 95 % of people who aren’t of European descent are lactose intolerant

I’m lactose intolerant.

If I wanted to have something I’d order a portion of chips or an ice lolly rather than ice cream , it’s not like most places only serve pizza & ice cream, there’s virtually always options.

Tell them you'd rather have a payrise than unhealthy processed crap... That probably won't help though

It’s not a shop or cafe they order from, it’s the small stall that does ice cream in the next door centre. And when they order pizza I’m not actually sure where it’s from, just a local place.

thing is I would rather not risk it anyway, I tried it before and ended up unwell from it after it all got mixed up and they clearly aren’t going to take it seriously (I don’t expect them to really anyway because it’s not a big deal and it’s not their problem) but ultimately I don’t want to risk being unwell like that again so I don’t even think I’d want to eat the food anyway just to play it safe!

You hit the nail right on the head with that one! @WillowCraft

YANBU

But what's a "teeny tiny foodie"?

@zozueme its literally in my first comment

Did you tell them that there was a mix up once with the ice cream and it made you so Ill that you had to go home so therefore you don't feel comfortable taking that risk again?

I think I'd start using the term allergy with them. Presumably they'd take it seriously then. Or tell them you'll have a slice if they're volunteering to clear up your vomit.

@orangita Have you actually said the words "I am lactose intolerant" or "I don't eat dairy"?
(I apologise I didn't see in your thread where you said you've told them).
If you said "I don't eat diary" they might interpret that as a "lifestyle" choice rather than a medical issue.
Maybe send everyone an email with the NHS definition of what lactose intolerant means plus some graphic images 💩 (ok - maybe not that last bit).
Or be blunt - if someone makes a comment about you not eating the food say "OMG are you lot totally thick? I've told you I am lactose intolerant. If I eat that I will get the shits. What don't you understand?"
However if your boss is the one ordering food they really should be making sure the food is appropriate for everyone. I assume you have actually told your boss and not just your colleagues?

I think you might have to be a bit cruder to get the message across unfortunately.

I'd probably say no thanks, don't want to risk uncontrollable diarrhoea and stomach cramps at work due to my ALLERGY!

If that doesn't work then start giving detailed examples of your lactose intolerance and get more and more graphic until they lose their appetite?

Might not work for everyone but I did get a man at work to shut up about how easy childbirth was by starting to tell him about my episiotomy.

What goes in your moth is no one's business but your own.

If anyone makes a sarcastic comment about what you eat or don't eat, embarrass them by saying, "Why on earth are you so interested in what I eat/don't eat? Do you fancy me?" Then laugh at them.

Just spell it out for them. Tell them if you eat dairy you’ll literally shit yourself

I'd say, no thanks and ask when they will hire additional staff.

I'd hate to have smelly pizza in the office all the time and don't want to eat processed shit as a reward for working hard.

Maybe give your manager the book 'ultra processed people'?

They sound insufferable.

A bit like on here, people are thick 😂They can't read that you are lactose intolerant and they obviously think you are as thick as them and haven't comprehended another option (even though you have written previously).

I honestly don't think there is anything more you can do other then let it go over your head... or 💩on their desks when they give you dairy 😂

But it’s not an allergy is it, it’s stuff like this that makes people question intolerances/real allergies, making stuff up just makes that worse.

I think you do need to be a little more....explicit. I work in hospitality and we have a good reputation for catering with people who have allergies.

The first question I ask is 'is this a preference, an intolerance or an allergy please?'

Preference means we just leave it out. No cheese/no mushroom etc. Still flagged in bold.

Intolerance means we check all ingredients. Are there any traces of said intolerance in any of the things we have used? Flagged up in blue.

Allergy means we check all of the ingredients, the food is prepped in a different part of the kitchen, the chef will change his apron to prevent cross contamination- it's flagged in red and double checked by Head Chef. Anything that is swapped in is checked.

Also, I have learned that lactose intolerant can mean 'I get a stomach ache' to 'I am really ill.' A common one I hear is that it makes them bloated and uncomfortable. I don't wish to explain your own condition but it could be that your colleagues think it might just give you a stomach ache rather than the reality.

We even ask for ingredients list from wedding cake makers.

If you ate with us, I would flag you as red!😉