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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Weekends are so boring and quite depressing

123 replies

Weekendboreoff · 10/09/2023 15:50

Are they fun for you? AIBU?

I don’t have many local friends (we moved, we live in a nice area but I don’t like it).

On the weekend, I take the kids to their hobbies in the morning. I go for a swim.

Then… that’s it. The rest of the aimless, dull day to fill each day. It’s depressing.

What do you all do if you enjoy the weekends?

I end up looking on my phone, which makes me depressed. I’m not into tv. I like to read, so I do that a bit too.

My kids play out with other kids while I just… feel depressed at the state of my dreary life. DH plays video games.

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 10/09/2023 15:56

I had this for a bit earlier this year.

I had to explain to the children that whilst they are happy just doing their hobbies and regular things locally this is very dull for me, and I need us to do more of a variety of things.

NutellaEllaElla · 10/09/2023 15:58

Watching TV is incredibly dull. Can you take up any hobbies?

MoiraRosesBaybay · 10/09/2023 15:59

Do you have a garden? I spend a lot of the weekend gardening.

EvilElsa · 10/09/2023 16:00

I absolutely live for the weekends, honestly. Always find lots to do, I hike and cycle, go to the cinema, shop, ride horses, read, walk the dogs....
Can you not take up something that YOU enjoy?

NegativNancy · 10/09/2023 16:02

Nothing gets me and DP down more than wasting a weekend moping about saying "what shall we do, why is there nothing to do?" It's just wasted time before going back to a week of nose to the grindstone.
To avoid this we actively plan our weekends - decorating a room, planning to make a fancy meal from scratch, checking what events are on around us. Granted we don't have any kids to plan around which makes it easier, but it's so much better now we don't waste our precious Weekends.

Funngames1 · 10/09/2023 16:03

They are fun for me but I don't have children. How old are your kids? Where do you live? This weekend DP is away. I went to a book festival talk on Friday night with a couple of friends. Saturday morning long walk with the dog and a pal. Started an online course during the day. Evening I met a friend for dinner. Today another walk and an exhibition with a friend. Home now. Pottering, chores, going to cook. Watch a film on my list.

What do you enjoy doing? I love the cinema, theatre. Volunteering thing I do occasionally. Exercise.

Can you get a hobby?

Cherryana · 10/09/2023 16:03

Can you set yourselves a mini goal:
Eg visit one free thing every week eg around me:

fallen down castle (Donnington)
top of a big hill fort (Near Winchester), the oldest tree in the local forest (Savanake)

I like to walk around villages and there are tons around to explore - some have really cool local pubs

At least every two months book a matinee at the theatre, look out for local festivals, village fetes etc.

Go to a bookclub and then you might meet some friends to do things with.

That’s all my ideas!!

ChaToilLeam · 10/09/2023 16:05

What do you enjoy? Do you play a sport, or do crafts? Is there something you’d like to learn?

Having something that gets you out of the house and in different surroundings makes a huge difference, I find. Yesterday we went to a local festival. Today, am just kind of pottering around and tidying up the patio (my neighbour’s cat has been helping by coming over to purr at me).

Original poster
Weekendboreoff · 10/09/2023 16:05

I do have a garden, but I’m not really into it.

I think the trouble is, I’m really sociable. I don’t like solo hobbies all that much. I swim, that’s my hobby on the weekend, but it’s solo so quite lonely. So more solo hobbies are no good.

But I don’t have local friends and have found them tough to make. And my children are too young to leave alone anyway.

All that sounds like I don’t want ideas - I really do!! I am starting to get quite depressed, tbh. My work is solo part of the time, and I just feel lonely and fed up and life feels frustrating and low. I don’t enjoy the school run / school mum chat either! (It stresses me out as it seems to be centred around worrying about secondary school. I live with low level anxiety so whenever anyone talks about anxious things to me it spikes my anxiety too!)

OP posts:
MidnightOnceMore · 10/09/2023 16:05

Your weekends are what you make them. They can be anything you want.

We didn't do any regular kids activities on weekend days (did clubs on week nights) to keep weekends free. We then used to go to interesting things.

What are you interested in? I'd plan trips.

I think the key is either doing something at home - get into baking, craft, gardening, decorating - or get out. I haven't had chance just recently but that's what made my weekends happy.

notacooldad · 10/09/2023 16:05

I used to love weekends when the kids were small, in fact even aa teenagers.
I used to plan in advance where we could go. We would go to country parks, the beach farms, countryside it go walking up on the moors. In bad weather we would go the cinema or go ice skating.
Great times.

ell87 · 10/09/2023 16:08

Loads to do
Bike ride
Visit the beach (if not to far away)
Walk in the forest
Pic nics
Bbqs
Museums
Zoos

Original poster
Weekendboreoff · 10/09/2023 16:08

I do a book club, we meet once a month on a Wednesday and I like that. It’s not local (none of my social life is!) but that’s ok. All my friends have kids so their weekends are centred around their children’s activities, which aren’t the same as mine as we don’t live in the same area. (We moved to be near my MIL so no friends here.)

I don’t want to sound defeatist! Because I really want better weekends!

My kids vehemently do not want to go on random walks etc. They want to do their clubs and play with their friends and that’s it! I understand that. But v dull for me.

DH would stay with them quite happily. But then I don’t know what I’d do - it’d be solo. And that won’t help me much.

OP posts:
Original poster
Weekendboreoff · 10/09/2023 16:11

I’m also married to someone who’s favourite things to do in life are play video games and look at his phone. He is a great parent and works full time (from home), but when he’s not doing either, he’s doing these things.

OP posts:
PackBacker · 10/09/2023 16:11

Could you try and become friends with some of the parents of your DC’s friends?
How about a regular exercise class, so at least you’re in a room full of people or a mooch around town with coffee and a cake?

APurpleSquirrel · 10/09/2023 16:11

I love weekends!
DC are 9 & 5. We've made sure there are no clubs on weekends so we can do stuff together. Our weekends are spent visiting places (NT, EH), bowling, soft play, the beach, local attractions, cinema, art installations, museums, themed activities & events (Halloween, mazes, Christmas, trails etc), the kids sometimes have birthday parties, visiting family & friends, or PIL have the DC so we can have a day/night off - next weekend DH & I are off to the theatre.
If we're home, we do gardening, play video games, board games, watch films, cook/bake, do crafts etc.

Funngames1 · 10/09/2023 16:12

I think you need to get DP to stay home if he's happy to and go do something. Ask at your book club if anyone fancies doing x y z with you at the weekend.

duvetdayy · 10/09/2023 16:13

I love weekends but I have no kids. My partner and I go out to eat, on a day trip, for drinks, see friends - sometimes I’ll see 2/3 friends separately on a weekend. But I don’t understand why your husband can’t compromise? He might want to play games or go on his phone but what would he say if you spoke to him about how you’re feeling, and how you want to do more with him? You could get a babysitter some weekend nights even and go out.

Original poster
Weekendboreoff · 10/09/2023 16:14

APurpleSquirrel · 10/09/2023 16:11

I love weekends!
DC are 9 & 5. We've made sure there are no clubs on weekends so we can do stuff together. Our weekends are spent visiting places (NT, EH), bowling, soft play, the beach, local attractions, cinema, art installations, museums, themed activities & events (Halloween, mazes, Christmas, trails etc), the kids sometimes have birthday parties, visiting family & friends, or PIL have the DC so we can have a day/night off - next weekend DH & I are off to the theatre.
If we're home, we do gardening, play video games, board games, watch films, cook/bake, do crafts etc.

We live on a street full of kids - which is lovely for my kids - but means that if we’re home, they’re out there not playing board games etc with us. And when we’re on walks around NT places, they beg to go home so they can ride their bikes with their friends!

OP posts:
Original poster
Weekendboreoff · 10/09/2023 16:15

I’ve genuinely thought about getting a Sunday job doing something randomly different to my actual career! I’ve always loved the idea of working in a bookshop. Do you reckon I could get a one-day-a-week job in a bookshop?!

OP posts:
Needmorelego · 10/09/2023 16:17

Have a look on meetup.com to see if there are any groups you can join in with or have a look if your local college does 'for fun" classes on weekends for adults. A lot of places like libraries and museums also do groups/classes for adults on weekends.

Original poster
Weekendboreoff · 10/09/2023 16:17

duvetdayy · 10/09/2023 16:13

I love weekends but I have no kids. My partner and I go out to eat, on a day trip, for drinks, see friends - sometimes I’ll see 2/3 friends separately on a weekend. But I don’t understand why your husband can’t compromise? He might want to play games or go on his phone but what would he say if you spoke to him about how you’re feeling, and how you want to do more with him? You could get a babysitter some weekend nights even and go out.

You’re right about this. Perhaps I should get my MIL to help more on Sundays so DH and I could do something? That was why we moved here (she was desperate for us to as she’s lonely, and promised babysitting in return. We have only once taken her up on it!)

But she’d want to babysit at hers, of course, which I understand. And then my kids would complain that it’s boring at Grandma’s!

OP posts:
Funngames1 · 10/09/2023 16:17

Weekendboreoff · 10/09/2023 16:15

I’ve genuinely thought about getting a Sunday job doing something randomly different to my actual career! I’ve always loved the idea of working in a bookshop. Do you reckon I could get a one-day-a-week job in a bookshop?!

No.

There are a million ideas here. You are indeed being defeatist. You are going to be resentful if you change nothing and just say 'no I can't, the kids don't like it'. You rule the house op. Plan a day trip!! The kids can play in the evenings or for one day at the weekend. Or they play out while DP is home and you go out. Honestly, come on op.

Needmorelego · 10/09/2023 16:18

One day working in a bookshop probably isn't do-able but you could volunteer at an Oxfam or BHF charity bookshop.

MidnightOnceMore · 10/09/2023 16:19

Weekendboreoff · 10/09/2023 16:15

I’ve genuinely thought about getting a Sunday job doing something randomly different to my actual career! I’ve always loved the idea of working in a bookshop. Do you reckon I could get a one-day-a-week job in a bookshop?!

Yes.

If you don't want to do family things and your DH is home, this sounds a good possibility.

Every family is different, so long as everyone is safe and well, it's up to you.