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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Weekends are so boring and quite depressing

123 replies

Weekendboreoff · 10/09/2023 15:50

Are they fun for you? AIBU?

I don’t have many local friends (we moved, we live in a nice area but I don’t like it).

On the weekend, I take the kids to their hobbies in the morning. I go for a swim.

Then… that’s it. The rest of the aimless, dull day to fill each day. It’s depressing.

What do you all do if you enjoy the weekends?

I end up looking on my phone, which makes me depressed. I’m not into tv. I like to read, so I do that a bit too.

My kids play out with other kids while I just… feel depressed at the state of my dreary life. DH plays video games.

OP posts:
BabyofMine · 10/09/2023 16:20

I felt like this until I discovered Rebel Badge Book / Rebel Badge Club. I got the first book, joined the Facebook group and haven’t looked back. I feel I’ve regained something just for me since I had kids.
No affiliation except for the fact I bought their books!

MidnightOnceMore · 10/09/2023 16:20

Needmorelego · 10/09/2023 16:18

One day working in a bookshop probably isn't do-able but you could volunteer at an Oxfam or BHF charity bookshop.

I disagree with this, we've loads of bookshops in our town and the owners get in weekend staff so they can see their families!

Comedycook · 10/09/2023 16:21

Are your kids clubs not very sociable for the parents? My dc plays football and the parents are a really chatty fun group.

Ibizafun · 10/09/2023 16:21

How long is your husband gaming for? A couple of hours over weekend is one thing but any longer would depress me.

Without making an effort to meet new people you will be bored. We see other couples for lunch or dinner over weekends then cherish the time on our own.

Sunsept · 10/09/2023 16:22

I feel the same OP. My DC are teens so have their own lives and things aren’t great between DH and I so spending time with him is a big NO. I don’t have any friends either. It’s depressing. I also thought about a Sunday job!

Needmorelego · 10/09/2023 16:23

Do you drive? If I could drive I would love to do car boot sales (selling) - more as a specific thing rather than just old stuff from the loft.
Books is also one of my 'things' and if I could I would like to collect up secondhand books and sell them on at a car boot sale (or collectable fairs/market stalls etc).

ShellySarah · 10/09/2023 16:24

I usually do hobbies, gym, see my boyfriend. It's nice not to be at work. But terminally ill mum means life revolves around her right now

swedex · 10/09/2023 16:24

What about the parents of the kids your children play with? Are they around could you just go outside with the kids and say hello to the neighbours?

PackBacker · 10/09/2023 16:25

Are your kids clubs not very sociable for the parents? My dc plays football and the parents are a really chatty fun group my DH and I made some really good couple friends through watching my DC play football.

PackBacker · 10/09/2023 16:26

How old are your DC?

StonwEd · 10/09/2023 16:26

Friday I met a friend for 3 drinks and then we walked merrily home, said our goodbyes and my dh had cooked me a delicious meal.
Saturday I visited a city about 90 minutes drive, had coffee, tried delicious food.
Went to the beach in the evening for a drink and read of my book, then worked behind the bar at a local vinyl night. I don’t get paid, I just help because it’s fun.
Lie in until 10 today, then gym, swim in the sea, fish and chips for lunch then lots of shopping/life admin.
Bit of cleaning now, then will pop the bbq on for dinner.
A lot of that was alone time and I love it.
As someone else said, I love for the weekends and time to myself. I love my job but I need those two days to treat myself really well.

APurpleSquirrel · 10/09/2023 16:27

If I asked my DC what they wanted to do at the weekends they would say playing on their phones/tablets/gameboys/console/watch tv - this doesn't mean they don't enjoy our days out, just that they lack imagination in elegant to do.
They get time doing what they want but we still do stuff together. We don't have lots of children local to us, but again you can limit how much time they spend playing out. & if your DH doesn't want to stop gaming/phone you have a DH problem.

Stripeypyjamas · 10/09/2023 16:30

We do 3 clubs for DC across sat and sun and fill the rest of the time with meals out and/or catching up with housework while the DC play. DH and I both work full time so the house often needs a huge blitz by the weekend. We will also try to do one sorting job each weekend too to keep on top of clutter. This weekend we've watched a film too because its too hot to let the DC out in the garden until this evening.

Technosaurus · 10/09/2023 16:32

Something I learned from someone who was terminally ill was the concept of a 'Boredom Box'. They wrote down everything they could think of that didn't require colossal planning (ranging from, for example "Go for a walk in the woods", "Drive to XYZ nearby town for fish and chips", "Call Aunt Mary in Alaska" etc etc) - each of these were put on small bits of paper, folded up and put in a shoebox.

Sort of like a 'bucket list' but on things that she alone thought would bring maximum fulfilment and didn't cost the Earth. Every day she picked something out and they just did it. Then that bit of paper was discarded so no repetition. She and her family had a wonderful few months just enjoying life before she passed.

I shamelessly stole the idea. We listed a load of places we liked or things we enjoyed (within reason) and if ever we have a spare Sunday or anyone says they are bored then we pick from the "Boredom Box", and we go and do it. Makes Sundays that bit more fun...

Original poster
Weekendboreoff · 10/09/2023 16:38

Primary aged dc. Clubs are football but parents are usually dads, who talk about football, or about school, but usually with each other talking about football or commenting on their children’s football skills. It’s fine but very much a small-talk thing and I find I don’t have much in common with people in my MIL’s neighbourhood. Plus I am really not into football! I only go because otherwise I’d do nothing at all!

I will look into Sunday jobs! I could volunteer, but more money would be a better motivator. and something social to do. I do actually sporadically volunteer at something in my old area that I go back to from time to time. While I like doing it, I’m not exactly rich so I always feel like I shouldn’t be volunteering as much as it’s not fair on DH and all the work he has to do (my career is poorly paid) to keep us afloat.

OP posts:
Original poster
Weekendboreoff · 10/09/2023 16:40

I think one big problem is, DH and I don’t share family friends who live anywhere near us. He has one friend nearby, but I’m not keen on him (DH knows it - I don’t hate him or anything, but no interest in socialising) and I have lots of friends, but they don’t live here and DH sees them as “my friends”.

i’m not sure how we’d go about making friends together.

I actually just spoke to him about how boring weekends are, and he got defensive and blamey. It’s because he genuinely likes doing “nothing” and I think resents the idea of changing it.

OP posts:
PinkRiceKrispies · 10/09/2023 16:41

I find them boring too and I despise Sunday afternoons/evenings.

CalistoNoSolo · 10/09/2023 16:42

If I'm honest, you do sound defeatist and also hard work. There are some brilliant suggestions on here but you've come up with excuse after excuse that none of them are any good or will work for you. Unless you change your attitude you will always be bored.

MammaTo · 10/09/2023 16:46

I understand it’s super hard but I think you’re going to have to put your own needs first for a few hours. If you have a MIL that’s willing to babysit then the kids can suck it up at their nans house for 1 night (I’m sure she’ll spoil them rotten) and have a little date night - food, pictures etc.

With Christmas on the way you could look for some local attractions to visit with kids too.

StonwEd · 10/09/2023 16:47

We’ve gained TONS of new friends by being heavily involved in our local parkrun

PackBacker · 10/09/2023 16:47

Could you do something with your MIL and your DH stays home and plays games.
TBH I wouldn’t let my primary age DC dictate the weekend, yes they like to play out which is great but you don’t need to base your whole weekend around it. Could you take them somewhere nice for example every other Sunday, if your DH wants to join in he does if not you all go without him. You could go for a family swim and he cooks a roast for you when you get back.

Original poster
Weekendboreoff · 10/09/2023 16:48

StonwEd · 10/09/2023 16:47

We’ve gained TONS of new friends by being heavily involved in our local parkrun

Oh I like the idea of parkrun! I am going to look that up. I miss being part of a running club.

OP posts:
Seashellies · 10/09/2023 16:49

Do you have friends elsewhere in the country? If DH was happy to stay home why not arrange to see them every so often? If you want to go out tell the children and explain they'll have plenty of time with their friends over the weekend still. Join a random club or hobby even if you're not passionate about it. I joined a crochet club when we first moved (I'd never done it before) and met good friends through that and now netball. Me and work friends also do something every month or so.

You need to do something different for things to be different, no point moping about not being willing to try anything!

MrsRoxkwell · 10/09/2023 16:49

I live for the weekends! I have a 9 year old and a 2 year old. On weekend when my husband is working we travel to our old town about an hour away and spend time with friends and do days out. When my husbands home we do family days out. Today we had a lazy morning, went out for lunch, went to the circus, the toy store, the park…

Chiaseedling · 10/09/2023 16:51

I’ve never been a big weekend fan even when I was young and ‘partying’ - there was pressure to always do something on a Sat night and Sundays were endless if you weren’t busy!
When kids were young they revolved round their activities - a lot of dropping off/rotas, sometimes seeing friends on a Sat night if we had a sitter.
Now in 50s, kids do their own thing - both will be in uni soon so I really need to get hobbies - but what?!?
DH and I like days out, a bit of pottering around, cinema, sometimes we see friends but our social life has dwindled since covid. It’s not easy! Would def like to travel more though, even around the UK.