Weekends are so boring and quite depressing

[Weekendboreoff]

Are they fun for you? AIBU?

I don’t have many local friends (we moved, we live in a nice area but I don’t like it).

On the weekend, I take the kids to their hobbies in the morning. I go for a swim.

Then… that’s it. The rest of the aimless, dull day to fill each day. It’s depressing.

What do you all do if you enjoy the weekends?

I end up looking on my phone, which makes me depressed. I’m not into tv. I like to read, so I do that a bit too.

My kids play out with other kids while I just… feel depressed at the state of my dreary life. DH plays video games.

@treacletofeez well I'm not a single parent for one & I only work part-time for the other. So on my days off in the week I do all the house chores/cleaning/shopping/admin etc which means the weekends are free for family time.

I bloody love the weekends. Week days I’m like a hamster on a wheel and weekends are my downtime. Mix of pottering, not doing much, and days out. This might well be a no but could you increase the sociable aspect of your job or do other activities in the week so you are more comfortable in your own company at the weekend? My kids are teens now and would rather chew off an arm than go out for the day with me!

Parkrun sounds like it’d be brilliant for you. All levels of runner and most of them go to a local cafe for an informal coffee catch up afterwards to help get to know other people.

Parkrun is for everyone. Make sure you volunteer too! There are roles you can do with the kids and there are a lot of Sunday junior parkruns too.
I went from volunteer and part time runner to run director and now am overall event director for ours. I don’t ever run it anymore!

There's not a lot of leisure time at the weekend. I don't understand it either. Maybe these people are very early risers, or only work part time or even just get an hour more than you each day when they could run round with the hoover or clean the bathroom so it didn't need to be done at the weekend? During that January school lockdown, I was allowed to finish work at school an hour early. The house has never been so clean as I got in and just did an hour of cleaning and by the weekend there wasn't much to do so I had a load of leisure time.

Have you considered Geocaching as a family? It's a treasure hunt!

https://www.geocaching.com

We don't have kids ourselves, but sometimes look after nieces and nephews and they LOVE doing this. Followed by a nice cafe stop or, if nothing is open, helping me make pancakes at home and eating them hot off the griddle with gruesom amounts of butter and honey makes it the "best day EVER" according to 10 year old.

I absolutely love the idea of the boredom box someone posted earlier and might actually set that up for times when my imagination runs dry.

I work full time but have a cleaner, get my shopping delivered and do any admin in the evenings while watching TV. That means there is only washing & cooking to do at the weekend.

Make a list of all the fun things you want to do this year near you - a garden, park, river walk, pub you want to try, National Trust property, castle, sports you want to try, films to watch, art galleries etc, then do one each weekend! That way you will always have a list of things to do.

What do you enjoy doing?

Are there any local running clubs or gym classes you could sign up to? Start chatting to the people there or offer to volunteer somewhere to get yourself out?

I don't know what job OP does but some people don't get a proper lunchtime even though they're supposed to. Many workplaces are shit for things like that now because the workload is too high for the available staff. (I'm talking NHS and education really)

We get all of our housework done during the week. I’d rather stay up late doing housework on a Friday so we can have the weekend free.

I’m wondering… why did you move there? You say to be nearer your MIL. That does sound like a fairer random reason to move a family, esp with kids at PS. it sounds like no one’s seeing her much. She’s not doing much babysitting, she only wants them at her home not to visit you, the kids find it boring visiting her and your husband is working FT and gaming or on his phone. There doesn’t seem to be a wider family there nor a group of friends in the area. You have a large group of friends, but you’ve moved away from them. Has this been a good move? Could you move back? It does sound lonely.

I’m the opposite I can’t get enough weekend! Not sure where you live but where I live there’s always stuff going on at the weekend and mostly free. We go into London a lot as only 1 hour train. Visit friends, have friends or family visit us. Go to beach, gallery, museums, gardens. Do gardening or DIY. Not being rude but you have to make the effort and do some research and plan - not all weekend but what’s the point of life otherwise?!

Weekends are for me and DH and the dc, and they are really important to me. It's the only quality time I get with DH as we're too tired on weekday evenings to do anything together. I plan activities quite far ahead (have recently booked for some Christmas events) and try to do a variety of things throughout the year. DCs are 5 and 1 so just come along with whatever we plan to do, but everything we choose is child-focused anyway. DC1 has swimming on Saturday morning, an early slot so we can still go out and do booked activities like a theatre show or concert. We check listing for any interesting shows, festivals and exhibitions that are going on (always lots as we're in London). She has drama on Sunday afternoons which isn't great scheduling but it's the only slot for her age group. We do a family swim on Sunday mornings and the rest of the day we'll do playgrounds, soft play, museums or anything else that is not too far.

I know this period for us is going to be short-lived as DC1 will eventually want to just hang out with friends, or her hobbies will get serious and we'll have to do them on weekends. But I really value the time with them right now, so I stay up late in the week to deal with other chores so weekends can be focused on the family and leisure time.

Do something out of character and unexpected, but for yourself. Do not think about what DH and DC may enjoy, they seem happy with their weekends. Find something for yourself and try lots of different activities until something clicks. Then keep one day of each weekend for that, for yourself.

I agree that you need to concentrate on yourself and not worry about your DH & DC, it sounds as though they are all happy doing their own thing at home so you need to find 'your own thing' and not expect them to 'entertain' you. If you want to volunteer then volunteer .. you could just offer one half day a fortnight/month at a charity bookshop .. I bet they'd be glad to have you (I used to manage a charity bookshop & would happily accept whatever shift a volunteer could commit to).
Park Run would be a great thing to start and then explore National Trust places etc near you .. just get out of your comfort zone !

I get up at 5.30 during the week so that I can exercise and clean before work. My weekends are so important for leisure time, I get everything other than a bit of washing done during the week.

It does sound quite lonely op and I think the issue is that your dh isn't on the same page as you. My kids are older but our weekends are mixture. Kids clubs, going out as a family for walks, trips to do things like surfing or mountain biking together, going out for breakfast / dinner / lunch. Having friends or family come to stay and taking them out on day trips to nearby attractions or towns and entertaining them. Finding time for our own hobbies, catching up on household chores, going away for mini breaks or to visit family - maybe once every couple of months, shopping trips, cinema or bowling as a family, movie nights with pizza and Popcorn with the kids, playing board games together. We do stuff together. The kids might get some time with their mates or on their games consoles but only after family stuff is done.

I think you need to talk to your dh about what you want life to look like. You could start by just scheduling one family activity per weekend and maybe arranging for some visitor to come and stay if you can fit them in.

Being married to a gamer is a very lonely life. I'm not surprised it's depressing you.

@BabyofMine thank you! I've had a look at those books. They've blown my mind. Will be giving them a try!

Full English, then DD gym class sat morning

Open house event at the local fire station Saturday pm

Late breakfast, bit of shopping Sunday morning cos of rain

Park Sunday pm, will have shepherds pie for dinner

Change I agree ... but didn't like to say ... my DH has his own own hobbies- golf, hiking, fishing but there's always something to talk about even if we are not spending time doing the same hobbies together.

Oh no I have kids and LOVE the weekends. Dh and I make time to do one thing each on our own, go out with friends for brunch or to the gym/hobbies.
We do fun family stuff or go out for a lazy walk and brunch somewhere nice. Some weekends are chilling at home some are an adventure somewhere new, you need to switch things up and see what suits your family

I joined a local pop choir. I just happened to start on the same night as another person who had joined on her own too and we got sat next to each other. We hit it off instantly and we are now very close friends. This was 14 years ago. I split up from the DCs dad so when the DC are at his we do loads to stuff locally together. She doesn't have DC so she's generally up for lunches, walks, theatre, going away for weekends, you only need 1 good friend locally to make your weekends more varied. I think the park run thing or a running club is a great idea if you already run.

There are quite a few sociable ones around here that end up at the pub.

I did something similar one school holiday when I was off work for a long time and the kids we'requite young. We made a list of local/free/cheap/easy activities and tried to get them all ticked off. The idea could easily be replicated with "adult" activities.