Year 7 journey to school - at risk?

[MrsGoldfish1980]

My son has just started secondary school. Having originally suggested he would take him to school, my ex is now stating that, on the days when he is at his house- our son will make a solo cycle and train journey. (Cycle on city roads, train, cycle again) I can see that in a few years, this would be beneficial for my son. However, I think he’s too little right now. He is small for his age physically, and finds organisation really tricky. I have asked that we wait until he’s a bit older. My ex is refusing to consider an alternative. I’ve offered to pick my son up on my way to work on one day - ex has refused. My ex will be driving out of the city when my son is making this journey. I will be at work. I am terrified of my son getting hit by a car or mugged as neither of us being able to help him because we are not near. I realise the risk is low, but the risks are there all the same. At primary, the school gave us a warning of fixed penalty notice because my son was late on days at his dads. His father relied on his new partner to drop my son AFTER her own children, which made my son late. What can I do? Where can I go for help?
I don’t understand why my ex doesn’t want to protect our son or consider a compromise. Can anyone suggest what I can do to prevent my child being sent on this journey?? I feel physically sick when I think of it and how I wouldn’t even know if he got into difficulty.

Both myself and my daughter (if she was doing this route) would be worried about getting the bike on the train, especially if it's a commuter service, it could be absolutely rammed.

Are there any other alternatives, even if they take longer, e.g. bus into town and back out again? Taxi has been suggested (although it might be easier to see a solicitor and change the access arrangements!!)

Definitely concerns about being mugged for his bike. It is common in my city (mostly targetting kids on bikes in the park) but a small Year 7 would be an easy target.

The school may be willing to share with you other parents who either have existing car share schemes, or who will be travelling in from your ex's area of the city.
If they can't share those details, could you put a Facebook message out there? I've seen several similar ones.

Does your DS' bike live at ex's house or yours? It would be shame if his bike got 'stolen' the first time he tried it.

The ex needs to trial the journey (cycling and getting his bike on and off the train) to prove it is even possible. Ideally at the times he expects his son to manage and carrying a backpack, including pe kit. Has he even checked that there is bike space on the train?

If DS can walk to school from your house then I would be looking at any way to make that happen

How's he going to stop you?

I thought about this today as I noticed our overground doesn’t allow bikes during morning rush hours

We live in South London and my dc travelled to and from secondary school alone. I would not be happy at all with this. As pp have said, it is not the train it is the cycling bit, and the getting the bike on and off the train (if it is even allowed/will fit- rush hour transport is often folded bikes only), the slog of it with book bag, PE kit etc in all weathers, punctures, missing, cancelled or delayed trains. Just too much for a year 7 and will limit what he can do after school as well. AFAIR, the kids who were sometimes dropped by parents at secondary were dropped pretty early so they had breakfast and did homework/went to the library/met mates at school. Might that be possible for your ex to do?

I think your son should bring his bike to yours and then misplace it.

I would ask the school for advice, they may be crap, they may have had similar situations.

Your ex is a wanker, your DS is going to be travelling in the dark soon.

It’s best to go to court and settle with DS spending less school days with his dad!