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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask school to remove photos

227 replies

WillowCraft · 09/09/2023 21:38

We decided not to put any photos of our children on social media until they are old to enough to consent to it themselves. We don't have them on our facebook pages and have asked family not to either. The reasons for this are privacy mainly, although there is also a safety aspect - though this is not the main concern.

My son started school last week and I requested no photos on social media or the school website. Now the school have posted several pictures of my son on Facebook - they are taken from behind or the side so don't show his face but it's still recognisably him as several people have commented to me. The photos are of a small number of children - 2 or 3 - not as part of a larger group.

I feel they shouldn't have done this and feel inclined to ask them to take the pictures down - however unfortunately this school is constantly putting stuff on Facebook - the whole of last year's reception class were on there most weeks, often with their work and their name showing. I am worried that if I say no pictures that my son will feel singled out and will never be picked for anything - he will never get a leading role in the school play for example, and will have to stand to the side every time they take photos - which is at least weekly.

I do think the amount they post on facebook is completely inappropriate, I would be happy with photos on a password protected page visible only to parents but not open to the public. I would be less happy but ok with occasional photos as part of a large group on SM. I really hate the idea that anyone who wants can track my child's progress through primary school!

Has anyone experienced similar and what did you do?

OP posts:
DiaNaranja · 09/09/2023 21:40

Our school uses dojo/tapestry style apps that only the parents relevant to that class group can see access. Would it be worth suggesting such a thing? I much preferred tapestry as you can't even screenshot from that app, so it felt more secure than class dojo.

Thegoodbadandugly · 09/09/2023 21:41

If you can't see your childs face I'm not sure what the problem is.

BeeCucumber · 09/09/2023 21:41

Contact the school and tell them to take the pictures down. I’m surprised they did this when you told them no social media. I assume they ignore safeguarding guidelines as well!

BargainHunters · 09/09/2023 21:42

Totally know where you’re coming from, but I think if they’ve not shown his face, they haven’t breached their policy.

I know your friends recognized him, but probably someone who didn’t know him wouldn’t.

The way we were told to judge it where I work regarding children being identifiable was: if the child was to go missing, could the photo in question be used by police to find the missing child. If the answer is no, then child is not classed as identifiable!

DiaNaranja · 09/09/2023 21:42

As a side note, even though I don't mind myself and my DH posting our children's photos on Facebook, I wouldn't be happy with the school doing so, and the school using that as a way to communicate, as it will single out or force parents to sign up to something they may not wish to be a part of. A specific school app is far more appropriate.

lavenderlou · 09/09/2023 21:43

If you have said you don't wish your child's photo to be on social media they should take it down asap. That's why the consent forms exist - you have to opt in.

LizardLizard · 09/09/2023 21:44

If you’re not comfortable with it, definitely ask for them to be removed. Not unreasonable at all.

Daisybuttercup12345 · 09/09/2023 21:44

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Screamingabdabz · 09/09/2023 21:45

Safeguarding is the no. 1 priority in schools. If Ofsted feel the safeguarding isn’t robust enough they’ll fail an inspection even if everything else is ok. Contact the school and say that what they are doing is not a sufficient level of anonymity for you. This a very common request - I’ve seen whole class photos obscured with smiley faces over half the pupils. So they should amend the practise without fuss immediately.

Ivebeentogeorgia · 09/09/2023 21:46

If you’ve said you don’t consent to him being in photos then he shouldn’t be in them. You’ll have to accept though that they will possibly need to remove him from the group to take the photos

LadyCrazyCatLady · 09/09/2023 21:48

Could you ask them to put a blur over his face for photos that have him in? Then he won't need to be singled out/asked to move to the side when a picture is taken, but still won't be identifiable.

TomAllenWife · 09/09/2023 21:48

OMG how precious, there's a pic of your child not showing his face!!!!!!

I just can't get worked up about this shit

You've got a long haul ahead of you, pick your battles

modgepodge · 09/09/2023 21:49

They shouldn’t be posting photos of him if you’ve said no photos. Contact them and they’ll have to take them down.

you can’t control them posting pictures of other children who do have consent though. Yes, your son will have to stand at the side every time there’s a group photo (or they might blur his face in the photo), but it’s not that big a deal. We have a few at my school who know to sit out when group photos are set up. It shouldn’t impact him getting parts in the play and so on, he just wouldn’t be allowed to have his photo posted.

SisterMichaelsHabit · 09/09/2023 21:49

lavenderlou · 09/09/2023 21:43

If you have said you don't wish your child's photo to be on social media they should take it down asap. That's why the consent forms exist - you have to opt in.

I agree. If I'd consented to photos I'd expect maybe 1 or 2 on the website, not for my kids to be plastered over social media constantly. If I'd not consented I'd expect my child to not appear.

OnAMidnightTrainToGeorgia · 09/09/2023 21:49

Yeah he will likely be excluded from things due to this

No point posting pics of the school play if key characters can't be seen

Firsttimecaller · 09/09/2023 21:49

Interesting...I was PTA and volunteer fb admin for a primary 2013-2019. The school had a media policy and when dd started part of the school policy agreement paperwork (dc will attend regularly, do their homework, respect each other and teachers etc.) there was a line to accept or refuse your child being in photos/publicity materials which covers all media: news & social. Personally I said no and policed DD's image carefully. There were always a few parents who would put other people's kids up and refuse to abide but that was for HT to deal with. Anyway your DC school should have a policy like this and if they don't complain to HT and governors to get one. There was at least one child who needed a publication ban for safeguarding reasons so bring that up in your arguments.

Rudolphthefrog · 09/09/2023 21:50

If you don’t consent and the photograph is recognisably your child I think it’s reasonable to expect school to take it down if you ask and remind them you’ve said no to pictures. I think it’s a little bit precious myself, if it’s a picture of the back of his head, but you’re his parent and you’re entitled to expect school to respect your decision. Just email the school office and request it’s taken down and staff reminded.

And the school really ought to work around the picture thing without your child noticing. Just take a variety of photos, some including your son, then only post the ones he’s not in.

I’m baffled anyone working in a school has time to be messing around with making weekly social media posts these days though.

FunnyFox · 09/09/2023 21:50

Grow up

Original poster
WillowCraft · 09/09/2023 21:50

DiaNaranja · 09/09/2023 21:40

Our school uses dojo/tapestry style apps that only the parents relevant to that class group can see access. Would it be worth suggesting such a thing? I much preferred tapestry as you can't even screenshot from that app, so it felt more secure than class dojo.

They have this as well already so I'm not sure why they need such a heavy SM presence really. Who do they think will want to look at the pictures and why, except the parents? It's all a bit odd

OP posts:
ThinWomansBrain · 09/09/2023 21:51

if the pictures show enough of his face for him to be recognised, it sounds as if they are breaching GDPR - Tell them to take them down rather than ask.

TidyDancer · 09/09/2023 21:51

If the photos aren't showing his face, what is your concern with this?

You can ask them to take them down and you'd legitimately be within your rights obviously but you yourself have identified the trade off here, that's it's likely to have a negative impact on your DS as a result.

somewhereovertherain · 09/09/2023 21:52

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SisterMichaelsHabit · 09/09/2023 21:52

OnAMidnightTrainToGeorgia · 09/09/2023 21:49

Yeah he will likely be excluded from things due to this

No point posting pics of the school play if key characters can't be seen

You don't know what you're talking about. Again. 🙄
They're not going to exclude a child from a school play because they can't put photos of the play on socials.

crumblingschools · 09/09/2023 21:52

The Facebook page is likely their window to the local community and prospective parents.

OnAMidnightTrainToGeorgia · 09/09/2023 21:53

@SisterMichaelsHabit

And you DO know what you're talking about?? Hmmm