To ask school to remove photos

[WillowCraft]

We decided not to put any photos of our children on social media until they are old to enough to consent to it themselves. We don't have them on our facebook pages and have asked family not to either. The reasons for this are privacy mainly, although there is also a safety aspect - though this is not the main concern.

My son started school last week and I requested no photos on social media or the school website. Now the school have posted several pictures of my son on Facebook - they are taken from behind or the side so don't show his face but it's still recognisably him as several people have commented to me. The photos are of a small number of children - 2 or 3 - not as part of a larger group.

I feel they shouldn't have done this and feel inclined to ask them to take the pictures down - however unfortunately this school is constantly putting stuff on Facebook - the whole of last year's reception class were on there most weeks, often with their work and their name showing. I am worried that if I say no pictures that my son will feel singled out and will never be picked for anything - he will never get a leading role in the school play for example, and will have to stand to the side every time they take photos - which is at least weekly.

I do think the amount they post on facebook is completely inappropriate, I would be happy with photos on a password protected page visible only to parents but not open to the public. I would be less happy but ok with occasional photos as part of a large group on SM. I really hate the idea that anyone who wants can track my child's progress through primary school!

Has anyone experienced similar and what did you do?

My kids were never questioned by peers during the school years and they have friends who are now very jealous that my kids had privacy
How on earth do their post school friends know how many times they did or didn't feature in school photos, let alone give a toss feel jealous?
Your post is honestly bizarre.

At our school the head has had to challenge parents posting videos/pictures on their own fb of sports days etc when they have refused permission for their own child to be photographed. These parents don’t always consider the other parents’ wishes.

My kids speak to their friends, don't yours??!

The other kids don't know how many times, neither do I, but everyone at school knew which kids were no photos.

There are a few who wish they'd not got the back catalogue online.

Have you seen news reports of legal challenges by kids in France, for example? Not all kids like being online. Plenty are fine with it of course, but I decided as I couldn't predict I'd play it safe. The kids are free to post what they want, they can upload old pictures if they want an online album.

From a teacher’s perspective - I have 2 children without photo permission and it’s a pain to police. Instead of getting candid shots, everything has to be set up to ensure they aren’t in the photo, including the background. We had a parent complain last year that they could tell it was their child’s hand in a photo. We all rolled our eyes about that one! The children feel awkward being pulled out of everything we do when we want to take a photo. Other children comment on it and we always explain that their parents don’t agree with photos on the school social media. The other problem that arises is that when they get to the end of primary and we do a big assembly celebrating them, they don’t have any photos to put in the slideshow that shows everyone growing up.

Also, the back of children’s heads are often quite similar and the person posting may have thought it was a different child altogether.

From a parent’s perspective- you asked for them not to be shown, so tell the school to take down the photos.

My kids speak to their friends, don't yours??!
What a ludicrous response 😵‍💫
If your kids have left school, it's just plain weird that their grownup friends are expressing extreme jealousy that they didn't appear in school photos.
However you care to spin it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Genuine question - why is there a need to take loads of photos at school?

For the slideshow, is there no way photos can be taken of children and just put on social media?

This is not weird at all.

I would simply assume that their grown up friends have a good grasp of cyber security.

I do appreciate that much of this knowledge is not widely understood yet, but calling out those who do understand it as ‘weird’ is a bit much.

Who are all those people who have commented about the back of your sons head? Why are they following the school page in any case? That is the more concerning question. I think you are being ridiculously precious.

I didn't say 'extreme jealousy' - you've made that up.

I'm sorry you're angry about this, not sure why but your reaction is disproportionate.

I can only say what I have experienced. Some young people wish they'd had more privacy - this is not news. The majority are happy with things, some are not.

My kids and their varied friends, who have different opinions on all topics, are not weird. They're just nice people. I think what you've said, your personal attack on my kids and their friends, is unreasonable.

Yes the future cyber security risk aspect is a major concern of sharenting etc.

https://www.bbc.com/news/education-44153754

This is an old article but the premise is unchanged.

@Bbq1 no her son won't be embarrassed.

My nephews and nieces who are now in their 20s and early 30s heard news stories about organisations and individuals, including potential employers, searching for old pictures of young people on social media and asked us - their extended family - to delete all pictures of them from any of our social media accounts. The youngest was 13.

He's now in his 20s and still actively guards his privacy. So he puts a limited amount on SM to show he exists as he knows no footprint is bad but he controls his images.

(I should I didn't put pictures of them up.)

No footprint is bad but he controls his images
That really isn't true.

Did you read the post?

Interesting to read the range of views. To clarify a few points:

The comments were along the lines of "I saw some photos of X on the school FB page, how nice" from people who have no idea about my social media decision. I didn't even know the pictures were on there until someone said that. But these are not people who know us well enough to know what shoes or clothes he had on that day etc. Lots of people follow the page, it has almost 1000 followers, the school only has 150 ish pupils.

The pictures were of my child and one other or 2 others, quite close up. Taken from side/back. So not appearing in the background by accident.

I signed to say I would allow photos for printed materials, to be allowed on the premises, and to be allowed on the Tapestry app. But I declined consent for FB or school website. So there should be no issue of the leavers' slide show etc.

It's overall a lovely school and I did consider the amount of social media to be the only downside but thought it a daft reason to choose a school!

I think I will let it go for now, if these are the only ones they put up that's not really a problem, if they put more up then I will say something.

I think you should say something. It’s easier to be black and white in this situation, so if there’s an issue in the future, you can say you called it out at the first instance. It’s easier for everyone involved. School staff are busy and yes, mistakes shouldn’t happen, but they are a lot less likely to happen if you communicate/reinstate your wishes clearly and at the earliest possibility.

Yes, your DC may be pulled out of photos or told to stand to the side. Some parents WILL want to see their DC on social media and it’s not fair on other kids to have them left out of photos because they happen to be near your DC. Maybe it’s worth gently and in child friendly terms telling him why he might not be included in photos, so he knows it will happen?

I don’t think YABU to reiterate your request to school - they probably just thought ‘no face’, not no child (from whatever angle).

OP, don't let it go. You asked that photos not be used. You still feel that way. You need to go back to the school and make sure they understand that you mean NO photos online. That is entirely your right.

There has always been at least one child in my class whose parent has made this request. I honour it.

I always ask what 'no photos' means for the parent(s). In every case so far, they mean do not post online, no social media. So I make sure the child doesn't feel sad - if I take a photo of an activity, I make sure to take one that has the 'no posting photos' students in it and send it by email directly to their parent. Then I delete the digital image.

They have a nice photo, no one is left out. But equally no one's boundaries have been crossed.

OP, if you let it go, when it happens again, which it will, they'll come back saying why didn't you mention it/complain last time?

You need to address it now to get it nipped in the bud.

Their actions were not acceptable.

Our school has a written checklist for parents to give permission for photographs and where they can be posted. For some it’s a personal preference but for some of the kids in school it’s a safety issue, mine included.

OP I’d raise it with the school because if they are casual with your child they might also be casual with other kids where public photos put them at risk. It might remind the school to tighten up on their photographs and social media, which can only be a good thing.

I agree, say something now just to draw attention to it. The teacher should have been given a list but it might be admin that hasn't made it round to them yet. I'd just mention on the door at drop off or pick up that you saw some photos on social media but haven't consented, so for future reference please avoid. Nothing unreasonable in that whatsoever.

I'm another one who agrees you should say something now.

By staying silent you also risk them putting your DC fully on the social media by "accident".

This time of year parents are choosing a school for their DC who will be going into year R next September. These parents will be looking at SM to get a flavour of the school. It seems that this school is making an effort to portray year R in a positive way. There's nothing strange about this and I doubt that the back of OP's son's head will identify him.

Issummernearlyover

I doubt many schools look bad on SM! Looking at a school 's SM is not a great way to choose a school anyway.

But parents and children shouldn't have to agree to photos in order to provide schools with free advertising. That's not what they're there for.

My LO's school is a small country school, out of town and requires a bus to get there. They rely heavily on SM to promote all the amazing stuff they do. It's a brilliant school, but off the radar for many parents. Town schools are over subscribed, but this one isn't because of location. Therefore everything is photographed for PR reasons. That's why I made the comment.

However it already has.

If you read the thread most of the people posters like myself don't want to seeing photos of their child(ren) on a school's social media know the child, and are a risk to our child(ren)'s safety.

Added to that other posters have pointed out once you put a picture on the internet, however innocent the picture is, it not only belongs to the platform it is on but it can be taken off the platform and doctored.

I totally understand-its your right as a parent to say if you agree to photos or not. But in this day and age, i feel its nigh on impossible to police it. Schools taking photos, parents taking photos at parties and sharing them to their social media etc, even an innocent photo of a kid by a parent on the first day of school could have yours in the background. Where do we go from there! But as i say, its your right.