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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to stop DD going to this house because of the dog?

336 replies

gonaenodaethat · 03/03/2008 11:38

My DD is 5 and in reception. She is very fond of another little girl who has been to play at our house several times.
When her daddy came to pick her up last time he said 'We'll arrange for you to come to ours soon' to DD.
However I know that they have one of those Staffordshire Bull Terrier type dogs and I'm just not happy to take the chance of DD being around it.
So, do I make an excuse when they ask and not let her go or should I broach the subject with the parents and ask them to keep her away from it?
Or am I just being precious and slightly ignorant?

OP posts:
wabbit · 04/03/2008 16:45

Am I being unreasonable for thinking it's an odd question?
Why not make friends with parents and if your worried about dogs behaviour, accompany dd on her first couple of visits. You can make an informed decision on potential risks yourself afterwards.
Maybe it's really more about the parents being present when the children and dogs are in the same environment.

Youcannotbeserious · 04/03/2008 16:50

Wabbit... that's been said over and over again...

Just seems there are a few dog whisperers on here who think looking at a dog will turn it into a rabid monster!

Wannebe - You are very eloquent and manage to put into words what I would like to say!!

I do agree that to ask is far better than to assume, I just meant in response to PP's post - if I KNEW someone wasn't too keen on dogs, I would keep mine away from her.

I did have one friend who used to let her parrot out when I was there and it used to freak me out BIG time.... She thought it was hilarious and, TBH, it probably was.... Thankfully a long time ago - nowadays I'd probably end up on YouTube shreiking like a banshee!!!

wannaBe · 04/03/2008 16:56

parrots can be intimidating. mine has a habbit of flying around the room which is particularly scary for people who aren't keen on birds...

ruty · 04/03/2008 17:53

Birds generally don't maim small children.
I did say most of the time Chequers, there are a few dog owners out there who actually treat their dogs like animals, not humans, and realise that they can't predict their behaviour all the time, and act responsibly. But in my experience most are not like that and think tootsy wootsy wouldn't hurt a fly, even if a dog has been bred for aggression. I'm afraid some of the comments here kind of prove my statement about the lack of logic in some dog owners.

Youcannotbeserious · 04/03/2008 18:36

Are you the dog whisperer or Dr. Bloody Doolittle???????????

I can't recall one post on here where a dog owner has said they would inflict their dog on a person who doesn't like them / doesn't want to be near them.

How I treat my dog in my house is, quite frankly, none of your damn business, as long as he is well looked after.

I am sure, in your superior knowledge of all things canine (not to mention the bird world) I treat my dog as a human... He sleeps on the furniture, I cook his meals and talk to him... So what?

If I want to dress my dog up as coco the bloody clown, then I can. Thankfully, for both myself and the dog, I don't, but that's beside the point.

No-one is asking / expecting you to do it or even be close to it.

ruty · 04/03/2008 18:42

well no one has said looking at a dog turns it into a rabid monster either, but you know, anyone who dares to suggest many dog owners lack a little objectivity in the area obviously deserve your wrath. LOL.

Youcannotbeserious · 04/03/2008 18:50

A little objectivity is one thing.

A blanket ban on ALL dog because ALL dogs are dangerous is another.

One thing I am happy to go on the record is saying is I KNOW my dog. I 100% KNOW what he is and isn't capable of. And he wouldn't EVER bite.

Without going into details, my dog has seen me be attacked. And he still didn't act aggressively.

I would always watch him around kids, because he would lick them which can present as many dangers to kids as dog slobber can have very nasty bacteria.

If you aren't a dog person, fine...

ruty · 04/03/2008 18:54

Again, who wanted a blanket ban on all dogs?
Odd.
Of course you think you know your dog. That's my point. you are obviously going to get angry if i suggest otherwise, so i won't.
I grew up with dogs. I adored my beloved cross breed, and my border collie which we got after my cross breed died at 15. I loved them and knew them very well. I would not assume to predict their every move, in every situation.

Youcannotbeserious · 04/03/2008 19:04

NO, Ruty, I DO know my dog. I don't THINK I know him... He doesn't have an alter ego!!

I am not (unlike you!) trying to suggest I am some sort of dog expert with a vast knowledge of dogs and dog owners. I am not making assumptions on other people's dogs or other breeds.

I am saying that I know the dog I live with 24/7. I know what he is and isn't capable of.

I don't get upset by the fact that other people don't like dogs. I get upset when people decide that they know more about my dog than I do.

Anyway, this is so far from the OP (which I think we actually agree on) let's just leave it, shall we? Apologies for calling you Dr. Doolittle

ruty · 04/03/2008 19:07

eh? By suggesting that dogs are animals that are unpredictable I am claimimg to be a dog expert? Er, ok...We'll just have to agree to disagree.

Youcannotbeserious · 04/03/2008 19:14

Agreed... Some dogs are unpredictable, others aren't.... Humans are animals too, when the chips are down....

Now, I'm off back to play with Tootsy Wootsy....

ruty · 04/03/2008 19:16

all dogs are unpredictable except mine. Yep. that's the point! [typical MN cyclical argument ensues ad nauseum]

callan · 04/03/2008 19:30

I have to agree with SKA,don't pass your unsubstantiated fears onto your daughter, my sister in law has done that to her daughters, 3 and 6, and they positively freak if they see one of our guinea pigs or kittens, never mind about one of our dogs. A child is safer around animals if they know how to act and react and if they're not scared. Your daughter will encounter lots of dogs throughout her life and this isn't a pit bull we're talking about, it's a staffie, a family dog, however no dog is totally trustworthy and consequently no child should ever be left alone with a dog, that's what you need to ask the parents.

onebatmother · 04/03/2008 20:04

Ruty! Leave it, girl!

Chequers · 04/03/2008 20:05

Message withdrawn

39andcounting · 04/03/2008 20:15

gonaenodaethat, I was walking a friend beautiful spaniel once. A staff walked or rather marched (not on lead and studded collar) got hold of my friends spaniel around the neck and threw it around like a rag doll.

No amount of punching or kicking would make it let go.

Eventually i managed to slip my hand up under its collar and lifted it up, with the spaniel still in its mouth. It then started to choke and some men came to my rescue.

It let go of my friends spaniel which then ran away, I still had hold of the bloody thing under the collar !! It was choking by then. I put it down and it ran off.

Was not til I went in search of my friends very bloodied and scared dog that I realised it had also punctured my calf.

I went to hospital, they said it it had gotten hold of my leg it would have wripped the calf muscle of off the back of my leg !

In my experience absolutely no way would I allow my child anywhere near one.....

PS dog survived but a changed animal after that.

mylovelymonster · 04/03/2008 22:39

Never expose your child to an unfamiliar dog which the owner would not be able to control/pull off if the unthinkable should happen. I think bull terriers probably fall into that category.
Many dog attacks occur out of the blue and in animals that have never previously shown any signs of aggression. Common sense and control.
The interests of the child far exceed those of any dog.
And now can we talk about something else?
These dog threads are so tedious..........

wabbit · 04/03/2008 23:27

YCBS perhaps I should have made it more obvious that I was responding to OP

ruty · 05/03/2008 08:34

LOL Chequers you don't half spout some rubbish. [Onebat drags ruty away and muzzles her]

Chequers · 05/03/2008 08:41

Message withdrawn

ruty · 05/03/2008 08:46

[tears off muzzle] astonished that suggesting dogs are animals whose behaviour cannot be predicted all of the time is so offensive to some here. Very odd indeed.

Chequers · 05/03/2008 08:48

Message withdrawn

ruty · 05/03/2008 08:58

Good for you Chequers. And if you read my posts you'll see I've made no hysterical comments, talked about my own beloved dogs [hard to have a phobia then] and my only crime was to dare to suggest that many people transfer anthropomorphic qualities onto their dogs and forget they can't predict their behaviour all the time.

Chequers · 05/03/2008 09:01

Message withdrawn

ruty · 05/03/2008 09:19

well that's my experience since having a toddler, who despite my assurances to him that most dogs are nice now has a fear of dogs after one nasty attack, and several times being knocked to the ground in play areas. on all of these occasions he had been no where near the dog and had not approached them. When we know dogs [and their owners] I am endeavouring to teach him how to stroke a dog carefully and considerately. He's not too keen though. Maybe we just live around all the inconsiderate dogs owners.