to stop DD going to this house because of the dog?

[gonaenodaethat]

My DD is 5 and in reception. She is very fond of another little girl who has been to play at our house several times.
When her daddy came to pick her up last time he said 'We'll arrange for you to come to ours soon' to DD.
However I know that they have one of those Staffordshire Bull Terrier type dogs and I'm just not happy to take the chance of DD being around it.
So, do I make an excuse when they ask and not let her go or should I broach the subject with the parents and ask them to keep her away from it?
Or am I just being precious and slightly ignorant?

Back to OP (because I haven't read the thread) - I would not let my child go.

Well, it's each to their own and for what it's worth, I think most dog owners, especially those that are parents too, are intelligent and responsible enough to understand the fears of other people, particularly non dog owners, and act responsibly. For most dog owners, if they thought their dog was in any way a threat they wouldn't keep it nor would they invite other people's children to their home. That would just be reckless and dangerous. Yes, dogs can and sometimes do behave in an unpredictable manner, but for all the awful stories you hear in the news, in most, if not all, of these cases the dogs have been in the wrong hands in the first place and haven't been treated correctly and haven't been properly socialised or trained.

I think we just have to take risk assesment as we do with a lot of other things in life. Sometimes I've been more concerned about my DC going to other people's houses because I don't know anything about the other people that might be there, and things that my DC might be exposed too. For instance, my DS aged 9 has a good friend, but I have become not too happy about DS going there because they are allowed to watch 18 cert films which I don't watch myself and certainly don't allow my DC to. They also have a boxer dog. I'm not concerned about the dog though.

I don't think you're being at all irrational by thinking this way; I hate dogs now that I have a DD and am sick of them bounding all over the place and running up to her scaring the life out of her when we're minding our own business in the park.

I have heard, however, that Staffs are supposed to be great family pets, but I would speak to the parents even if there was a poodle in the house. I think dog owners should expect this; it's not media hype it's just realising that to a three year old the majority of dogs tower over them and the child wouldn't stand a chance if the dog were to take a random snap at their faces. It happened to my friend when we were was at school. She lost a six inch slice out of her arm when another friend's 'friendly' family alsation got over excited.

Personally I think dogs belong on farms.

Spaceman - why don't you use the dog free sections of the park if your DD doesn't like dogs?

In many parks, Youcant, there is no 'dog free' section.

This is interesting. I run our village park. It's small and we used to allow in dogs on leads but because people started bringing them in WITHOUT leads we decided to bring in a blanket ban. We live in open countryside so we're hardly depriving dog owners of space to exercise their dogs.

But people still bring them in and put them down the slides, etc. Not kids, grown-ups.

I am a dog-owner myself but it really annoys me that we can't have a small space where children can go to play without dogs. As a trustee, I'm personally liable for any non-insured liabilities. The climbing frames are insured but we couldn't afford to insure the grass area. So if someone's dog bites a child and they make a claim for plastic surgery--that's my house.

But surely, the swings etc., are usually fenced in?

They are around here.........

I must admit, I walk my dog in the countryside, well away from parks etc., as I just can't be doing with busy parks and screaming brats...

(I did once encounter a ~7YO boy who ran up to my dog, SCREAMED at him and then ran away. I have no idea why he did it, but his mother got a piece of my mind!!)

Youcannotbe: would be understanding if a parent was to yell at you for your dog barking at a person (adult or child?). It's effectively the same thing as a child yelling at your dog. People seem to let dogs get away with loads more stuff compared to children - shitting on the grass for a start. A large dog jumped up and put its filthy paws on my mum's back the other day. No fuss was made, but if a child had ran up behind her and pushed her then I'm sure the adults with the child would have played merry hell. Concequently, the owners of said dog hardly muttered an apology to my mum.

Where I live no open parks are dog free. The little feckers are EVERYWHERE. When I go home to see my parents by the sea they're there too on the beaches, in the town, in cafe's, pubs, parks you name it and loads of them off the lead too. Thankfully they're banned from beaches in the summer. Small mercy.

Plus, is it also correct that we should fence our kids IN to keep them away from dogs and not the other way around?

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I agree with her Chequers. People do the same with their mums and children!

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Oh you know - it is SO COMMON for children to be frightened of dogs. Really, really normal. DS2 used to be frightened of dogs - I used to ring up the mother and say 'he doesn't like dogs, I don't think it's something he wants to try and get over on this playdate either, will you put your dog away please?'

And they always do.

Now we have a spaniel puppy, and it's the same. I remove him if children don't like him, or even if they think they're going to like him, but then don't like it when he licks their hands or whatever.

It's is absolutely fine and normal to ring up and say 'she doesn't like dogs, can you put the dog somewhere else.'

Two different parents have done this since we've had the puppy.

Well, Spaceman... I was under the deluded opinion that people were just a little bit more intelligent than dogs... You make me wonder

'as I just can't be doing with busy parks and screaming brats...'

Oh, yes, God forbid they infringe on the dog's leisure time in a park.

I agree with ruty 100%.

And has it ever occured to dog owners that perhaps people, not just children, want to enjoy a park set up for them and paid for by their council taxes without being harrassed by dogs who are not on leads? I mean, aside from just a children's playground.

Just a thought.

I take my Lekki pole when I go for walks round here - I'm in the countryside, too.

Because you never know when you'll encounter an inconsiderate dog owner who thinks you enjoy having your walk interrupted by their damn dog jumping on you.

Actually, EIS, I agree with you.

My dog is quite a little sissy and is often intimidated by noisy kids / aggressive dogs...

That's why I take him somewhere quieter.

I don't feel I infringe on other's enjoyment and I enjoy the peace and quiet ... I have no problems with people not wanting to be near dogs (have given a few a kick myself.... )

I'm not trying to be argumentative... It's just i wouldn't take my dog to a really busy park where I know there are going to be loads of other dogs running round because he doesn't like it. I wouldn't take a child who didn't like dogs there either...

You are in the countryside tho YCBS, and not living in the home county suburbs like I. Here you have little choice but to share parks with kids, dogs, hoodies and anyone or anything else that likes to make a claim on the little green space around us. There's nowhere else to go so we're all falling out about it here.

Yes, I am in the countryside.

I appreciate I am lucky to have the space we have here. Where we walk, the only people we meet are a few other dog walkers and horse riders.... And, yes, I like it that way.

Lucky old bag!

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Not read the ful htread. But I don't think you are being unreasonable. If you are not happy for him to be there, then don't let him. Regarding excuses - you could either come clean and say that he is frightened of dogs (and you are frightened of him being alone with dogs) OR keep up a pretence. IT might relaly offend the other parents to tell them, but on the other hand, they might tell yuo that they will keep the dog out.

I don't mind dc being near dogs (even though I have a phobia) if I know there is an adult who is good with dogs there - i.e. can tell the child what not to do, and keep an eye on things. But I would never allow the kids to play with any of hte dangerous types or in fact even the mild mannered ones on their own! Kids do silly things, and dogs do nasty things sometimes (e.g. if in pain fr feel threatened)

Haven't read the whole thread but just wanted to say that any responsible dog owner would lock their dog away when other children are visiting. It doesn't matter what breed the dog is.

Yes, I think you should approach your dd friend's family and ask them to lock the dog away while your dd is coming over to play. I'm sure they understand.

I have a dog and although she's never harmed a fly I always put her in the bedroom when my dd friends are around. No matter how much you may trust them at the end of the day they are unpredictable animals.

ahundred. I amr eally impresed wtih you putting hte dog away if hte kids are frightened. This is how I woudl expect dog owners to be. i am terrified of dogs (was bitten 3 times as a child by different dogs, none of them were ever 'in the wrong' I might add (according to their owners). I have a lasting phobia now, that I try hard to overcome.

I have never been back to my so called friends house since she let her dog climb all over me and lick my hand (non stop for hours), and told me during that time that the dog had nearly savaged her DPs chest last week for no reason. Adn she knew about my phobia. I was too polite to ask her to put the dog out - I know I shoudl have. But it is a bit like being heavily pregnant on teh tube - I am always to polite to ask. I have amisguided feeling that people will do the decent thing. And sometimes they don't.

ahundred - we might get a puppy (would need to be a puppy, not rescue or I could not cope) for the kids so that they don't develop a phobia like me. And so I can learn to deal with dogs too.

PP - that's just awful!!!

I personally don't mind dog slobber, but to allow your dog to slobber on guests

I have a phobia about birds. I absolutely appreciate that this is my problem, that not every sparrow / robin / crow is out to kill me, but god forbid I had to be in a room with a parrot (if it wasn't in a cage). I think I'd pass out....

As a general rule, until you know people are OK with your dog, it's easier to keep them shut into one room...

Wow is this thread still going on?

I actually think there are two trains of thought here.

Firstly, I think that any dog owner should be understanding of the fact that not everyone is a doglover, and that some people are actually afraid of dogs. I also think that parents should be understanding if another parent asked for dogs to be shut away/to be kept under close supervision while their children are visiting. I would also never allow my dogs to jump on anyone, and I wouldn?t let them off in parks where lots of children were playing.

But that is totally different to a parent that has a blanket ban on their children going anywhere near any dog without even discussing it with the owner of said dog first. I think that?s quite small-minded, actually, because it?s entirely possible that the owner would be understanding and that if there was just a little bit of communication, the children could play quite happily without any risk of those children being savaged. In fact as a parent, if someone just refused to let their child come to my house and didn?t discuss it with me, I would be inclined to think that they had something against me personally and I would probably not allow my child to go back to their house again either. Or do you decline invites on that basis that ?you have a dog??

Yes there have been stories in the news about dog attacks, very few stories actually, but there have also been stories in the news of children being abused by family member/being killed on the roads/being abducted by strangers. Would you keep your children away from close family/cars/never let them out of your sight for fear of them being harmed?

Surely this is ultimately about communication? I wouldn?t let my ds go to the house of a child whose parents did not know, so based on the fact that I knew the parents, I would also feel that I could talk to them about things that might bother me.

Youcannotbeserious I have a parrot and a budgie and I never let them out when we have visitors. But about a year ago I had a friend of ds? home for lunch and her mum said to me that she?d initially not wanted to come because she was afraid the budgie might fly around and land on her, to which she?d said that the budgie wouldn?t be out, and then said ?he won?t be out will he?? to which I said no. But I would have been mortified if the parent had decided her dd couldn?t come based on something which didn?t even need to be an issue given a bit of communication, iyswim?