Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Please read. Is this weird??

109 replies

xx200xx · 08/09/2023 09:02

Hello, looking for advice.

I went to the pub the other day as I my was my child free night. I was sat at the bar a lot just talking to the people working there. Not flirting or nothing!! However the guy who worked there brought me to drinks I did say no but he insisted. He added me on Facebook but so did the other people that work there, I really didn’t think anything of it as there was nothing to think. However the guy who got me the drinks lives on my street so he walked back that way with me.

He the later proceeded to text me saying “I can’t believe your single, absolutely beautiful” and then carried on messaging. I was hardly replying back and the next day I said I’m really hungover and he was saying “awhhh maybe I should come and cuddle you” I ignored this and he messaged saying “you missed out on your cuddle”
However my phone was charging lastnight and I didn’t check it for a while and he sent a message saying he’s left a bottle of wine outside mine for me (he did). So I was saying please you really don’t need to do that and he was like next time it will be flowers. I have told him no and then he said well maybe a date… I have said I’m not looking for anyone as I have not long came out of a relationship etc. He’s telling me I’m worth the wait etc and it is making me feel uncomfortable. He don’t even know my age or anything really about me.

Just looking for opinions on this situation…. It is very weird isn’t it?? It was the wine part what freaked me out a little bit… there’s being nice and then there’s being to nice.

OP posts:

Ollifer · 08/09/2023 12:06

I'd send one last message stating firmly that I wasn't interested and not to come round to the house or leave anything from now on. Then I'd block.

TooOldForAllThisNonsense · 08/09/2023 12:10

Block him on your mobile and on Facebook. Simple enough.

CitizenofMoronia · 08/09/2023 12:11

Hey Mr Manager, just a heads up before you suggest Rapey Mcbarstaff walk any other unsuspecting customers home, this is what he is getting up to, I appreciate you thought you were doing a good thing having someone walk me home but you kind of set me up as serial killer bait... thanks ex-customer.

yellowsmileyface · 08/09/2023 12:11

I have a lot of compassion and do feel bad about stuff and take peoples feelings into consideration, but I need to learn to think of myself more and be more blunt

It's understandable if you're in your early 20s. I remember back then I'd feel so guilty if I rejected a guy and he gave me the hurt puppy look. I'd let them down easy and dress things up like "you seem really lovely but I don't think I'm interested in dating right now". The problem is some men will use any shred of niceness on your part as an excuse to keep harassing you.

After years of enduring being harassed I have no qualms about telling a man "can you fuck off and leave me alone".

MariePaperRoses · 08/09/2023 12:13

Pushy and presumptuous.

All in the name of getting his leg over.

His dialogue and chat up lines are straight out of the book that those Turkish Love rats have read for the purpose of winning women over in order to bed them.

In other words he's a smarmy creep.

Original poster

xx200xx · 08/09/2023 13:01

He works in there everyday so I can't just go in and return it. I would find that so awkward.

I just feel like it's classic narcissistic behaviour in a way, the start of it anyway...

OP posts:

Justaredherring · 08/09/2023 13:11

OP, I feel like people are telling you off a bit, which is slightly unfair but seems out of concern. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You were trying to be sociable and now this dickhead has got in the way. What a shame. Look after yourself, learn from this, abd good luck with your next night out. Don’t let it put you off!

MsRosley · 08/09/2023 15:27

xx200xx · 08/09/2023 11:36

I just tried finding out how old he is and someone commented happy 40th not long ago to him.

He don't look the old but now that's even more of a red flat because I'm in my early 20s and he's 3 years younger then my mum😬

He also said how he lives with his gran and was an alcoholic but now smokes weed. So to me it's all a massive red flag.

And there was me thinking he's a total catch 😂

TheGoodBanana · 08/09/2023 16:32

It makes me so mad that men think all women will be flattered by their attention.

OP I totally understand that you are trying to be nice and probably don't want to come across as rude, unfortunately blokes like this you actually have to spell it out.

If he messages again say I am not interested, your're the same age as my mum. Then block him.

The amount of situations I have ended up in by considering other peoples feelings before my own and of course always being kind. You did nothing wrong but it's time to be assertive. He is clearly a loser so not a bad thing if he is offended and ignores you!

Flip

1 2 3 4 5