Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Postman took photo of me

206 replies

Ringringringringringringringbananaphone · 07/09/2023 13:11

Posting here for traffic - does anyone know if postmen/women (for regular post office mail) are supposed to take pictures with people in? I find my regular postman super-creepy anyway (he calls me love/darling/sweetheart, all within the few seconds transaction of handing over the post, and he has made comments before about what a “beauty” my five year old is). So in general: super creepy.

But today, I swear he took a surreptitious photo of me as he was handing the post over , and I’m very weirded out. It would only have been of my boobs downward as he didn’t point the device at my face, but I’m sure he took a photo. He has done this once before, and left me questioning things in my mind, but he’s always just immediately on his way out of the gate so I haven’t had a chance to say anything to him. I will, next time!

But in the meantime can any posties or knowledgeable people tell me what’s normal/if it’s acceptable to take photos of people when delivering the post? I was thinking of contacting the sorting office, but then he would know it was me that made a complaint and he knows I’m a single parent with a 5 year old (or at least he probably assumes that, as he has never seen anyone else here). It’s really bothered me.

OP posts:
crumblingschools · 07/09/2023 15:19

@housethatbuiltme I didn't think they took pictures of your face either, they certainly don't of me (or maybe they are trying to tell me something!)

When a parcel was misdelivered, I had to go and find other houses with similar coloured doors, I couldn't work out which neighbour it was by the photo that was sent to me

BloodyHellKen · 07/09/2023 15:20

Apologies if this has already been answered but if the postie needed to hand over the post to you, rather than put it through the letter box then maybe it was a recorded delivery? - this isn't always very apparent especially if the postage has been bought online as the label won't be obvious.

NumberTheory · 07/09/2023 15:24

LadyKenya · 07/09/2023 15:09

And how would the op know that, if she was in motion at the time?

Show quote history

Because walking doesn’t mean your eyes stop working.

Onestepforwardseveryday · 07/09/2023 15:24

The PDA machine that they use can only take photos after the postman has scanned a barcode on a parcel or letter that has a barcode. It allows one photo to be taken and submitted but they can retake the photo before submitting if it wasn’t a clear photo.
the postman has no access to the photo after it has been submitted on the PDA (unless he has copied down the tracking number and then he can check the photo on the system the same as the customer) .
so you need to look for any barcode number on your parcel and type it into Royal Mail website and see what the photo is that he took. If it isn’t a photo of the parcels and is a photo of your boobs then obviously you should complain.
chances are what you actually saw him doing was pressing submit on his PDA and not actually taking a photo.
anything with a 2D barcode but no tracking number doesn’t allow the postman to take a picture, it will simply be him pressing a button to say the parcel has been delivered to the customer.
but there is no option on the PDA for the postman to take any photo which isn’t accessible to the customer.

plantingandpotting · 07/09/2023 15:25

I suspect that he was probably just pressing a button on his device to submit the pics of the parcels and it wasn't anything to do with the letters.

NumberTheory · 07/09/2023 15:26

Lorelielee · 07/09/2023 14:48

your Story keeps changing a bit. How was he able to take a photo of your boobs downwards if you were walking towards him across a garden? Presumably you weren’t close enough for him to be able to do that.

Her story hasn’t changed. Why would you think she wasn’t close enough for a photo of her body from the boobs down when just after taking the photo he was only an arms length away as he handed her the post?

LadyKenya · 07/09/2023 15:27

NumberTheory · 07/09/2023 15:24

Because walking doesn’t mean your eyes stop working.

Show quote history

She was very precise about what he could supposedly see. A special gift that!

Emptyandsad · 07/09/2023 15:28

He's turned up to your house with parcels and letter. He rang the bell, you didn't answer, so he put the parcels on the doorstep and took a photo of them, to log as having been delivered with householder not answering. Then you've come round the side of the house, he's spotted you and taken a photo of you to show that actually there was someone in to take delivery. He's not supposed to take photos of people's faces, so he's pointed th camera at you from below the neck (boobs and down). And then handed you the letters, rather than just putting them in the letterbox.

Moveoverdarlin · 07/09/2023 15:28

I’ve had this happens loads of times, they say just need to take a quick picture, I say ‘make sure you don’t get my face in, I haven’t put my face on yet’. They laugh, I laugh. No one is called a creep.

Lorelielee · 07/09/2023 15:34

He wasn’t. He turned and took a photo of ME, as I was approaching from the other end of the garden.

Because she says this, quoted above. If there was a photo it must have been taken at a bit of distance so therefore it’s hard to tell which part of her body was specifically photographed.

Zingy123 · 07/09/2023 15:34

I'm a postie. The PDA (scanner) will tell us if we need a photo or signature for the parcel. We can't just take a random photo. They don't work like that. You sound paranoid to be honest.

Lorelielee · 07/09/2023 15:37

She doesn’t say he was an arms length away, she says she was approaching from across the garden when the photo was taken. How do you know she was an arms length away? @NumberTheory

Quiethowlsinluditebeck · 07/09/2023 15:38

They’re allowed to take a photo of an item of post, but not you. This is important, they should not take a photo of you. You should contact the local delivery office about your concerns, both the photo and in what he says, but you never know how he would react and he might be more than sleazy.

Have you a very attractive male friend or brother who could be there to open the door to the postman soaking wet, with only a small towel? He could shout “Don’t go anywhere, I’m coming back!” then wink at the postman.

It would be worth sending yourself a parcel so he knew when to be there for the parcel.

You could also post a few letters and sign up to a few companies using a male name. Hang a man’s coat in the hall.

Before anyone shouts at me, no we shouldn’t have to do things like this. I HATE the way some men treat us. But the OP needs to protect herself and these are some suggestions to try to get the sleazy postman off her back.

BashfulClam · 07/09/2023 15:39

lap90 · 07/09/2023 13:38

It's quite common. Are you new to receiving parcels?

Are you new to reading the OP and OP updates, was done surreptitiously and further updates are that it was normal mail! Try engaging your brain before your snide muscle.

jolaylasofia · 07/09/2023 15:42

Flakey99 · 07/09/2023 14:35

YANBU. Trust your instincts.

Far too many women are sexually harassed or worse because women are programmed from a young age to “be nice” and so they meekly accept all sorts of inappropriate behaviour from men for fear of a backlash if they report it.

Just look at all the supporters of that massive creep, Rubiales and the number of women who also support him and minimise his abusive behaviour. Instead, we should support all women who are brave enough to call out this sort of predatory behaviour.

honestly get a life. It's absolute idiots like you that make real abuse go unnoticed. Calling someone love or sweetheart is neither predatory or abuse and depending where you live it's the norm for men and women. This man is probably a nice guy just doing his job, idiots like you could take his livelihood for absolutely no reason. get a grip and therapy or something

BadHairBae · 07/09/2023 15:44

My postman did this the other day.

Baconking · 07/09/2023 15:46

Quiethowlsinluditebeck · 07/09/2023 15:38

They’re allowed to take a photo of an item of post, but not you. This is important, they should not take a photo of you. You should contact the local delivery office about your concerns, both the photo and in what he says, but you never know how he would react and he might be more than sleazy.

Have you a very attractive male friend or brother who could be there to open the door to the postman soaking wet, with only a small towel? He could shout “Don’t go anywhere, I’m coming back!” then wink at the postman.

It would be worth sending yourself a parcel so he knew when to be there for the parcel.

You could also post a few letters and sign up to a few companies using a male name. Hang a man’s coat in the hall.

Before anyone shouts at me, no we shouldn’t have to do things like this. I HATE the way some men treat us. But the OP needs to protect herself and these are some suggestions to try to get the sleazy postman off her back.

Answering the door in a small towel and winking at the postman is probably not going to put him off if already fancies her.

What a bizarre suggestion!

jolaylasofia · 07/09/2023 15:46

italianpie · 07/09/2023 14:33

Sounds grim, I worked for a man when I was in my early 20's who told me he took photos of women at bus stops and such on his phone to masturbate over later. He said "the quickest way to expunge a woman from my mind is to have an orgasm over her" his exact words. Yes he did photograph me too.

There really are some rancid men out there, I don't think he needs a photo of your whole self or face if it is for a delivery just your hand taking the parcel.

nothing at all like this post man who took a photo with his royal mail scanner- he can't access the photos

Zingy123 · 07/09/2023 15:49

@PickledFox We do have to have an enhanced DBS.

nettie434 · 07/09/2023 15:49

It's certainly standard to take a photo of a package as proof of delivery but my postman tells me what he is doing and the photo is just of my hand holding it or something anonymous like that. I'd feel worried about a surreptitious photo.

Baconking · 07/09/2023 15:50

BashfulClam · 07/09/2023 15:39

Are you new to reading the OP and OP updates, was done surreptitiously and further updates are that it was normal mail! Try engaging your brain before your snide muscle.

Show quote history

PP who deliver post have also pointed out that the device cannot be used for random photos and the postie doesn't access them afterwards so it's very unlikely he was taking a photo of the OP at all

Oliotya · 07/09/2023 15:50

It seriously sounds like it was just a proof of delivery photo. They don't take photos of faces or children apparently.
Your postman isn't in love with you.
Honestly.

SpideyVerse · 07/09/2023 15:52

@Ringringringringringringringbananaphone Try inputting the reference/barcode numbers from every parcel and letter to see if you can view photos against any of them to see what the images look like - and whether any are overstepping the mark/creepy.

Don't be put off if the items havent been sent by Recorded/Tracked48 or so on, because many items have electronic postage labels these days and can sometimes still have their journey traced anyway!
(I discovered this possible with mail I've both received/sent bog standard SECOND CLASS and typed in the number on labels or receipts. To my surprise I could sometimes even see pics and tell which family members accepted the mail (distinctive fluffy slippers or outfit)!
Try
https://www.royalmail.com/track-your-item
OR
https://www.parcelforce.com/track-trace

Op, hope this helps, and if there ARE any pics that they are reassuring rather than troubling.
I'd definately take it forward if the latter.
I think as a matter of courtesy+safeguarding, all delivery companies' policy+training should be that their couriers/posties make it transparent to recipients PRIOR to pics being taken.
I'm just realising how open to abuse the current process is in the wrong hands, and could easily facilitate a creep in plain sight. Especially as everyone is being conditioned to accept it as just the current process. Hmmmm

Baconking · 07/09/2023 15:54

Baconking · 07/09/2023 15:46

Answering the door in a small towel and winking at the postman is probably not going to put him off if already fancies her.

What a bizarre suggestion!

Show quote history

Just realised it's the fella in a small towel, but even so, still bizarre!

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 07/09/2023 15:54

He took a photo with a work device of you holding the items he had given to you, a photo which didn't include your face.

He has previously used what normal people consider general terms of endearment.

Sounds like a you problem OP.

(Yes I read he'd already put the parcels down, this was to prove that the occupier took ownership of something he'd delivered, rather than just putting them down, taking a photo, then stealing them back off your doorstep).