So much to write but the bottom line is that my lovely sister, who appears strong and at times main decision maker in the home ... she is a SAHM... isn't so strong after all.
I'm worried that her husband is being a little controlling actually. I really like him and he is very helpful and generous but can be a Johnny big balls at times.... refers to their home and general assets as his in company etc ... that type.
They have a busy and open house. Both close to family but his family spend a huge amount of time there.
They have had family stay for months at a time while waiting to move into their new home. Six of them. Serious special needs ( this is relevant) alcohol use and aggressive behaviours.
Then others who are going through divorce, drug use, criminal activity for to addiction etc. They are very Christian.
So here is my AIBU. My son has been poorly in mood for last few years. Down in himself. Refused to go to school. Became a recluse and then rude, nasty and at times verbally abusive.Refused to help arroyos the house and farm, I am a lone parent with other wains.
It has been awful and awful to live with him.
My sis and I chatted last evening and she told me that she had chatted to her hubby who straight away shot down the idea of my son staying there for a while to sort himself.
I am surprised but not surprised.
I wouldn't be excited about having him there but I know they would be strict and there would be strong rules.I was unable to manage him eventually.
However , he is in a bad place and they , as a couple of have many stay with them, who have been violent, abusive, drug and alcohol addicts, aggressive. All from his family.
I can't help it feel that I have lost complete respect for my bil but more so , my sister.
AIBU
PS My son is not an alcoholic, a drug user, a criminal hut can be verbally aggressive and horrid inside the house . Never outside. Never to other family or to his friends.depressed perhaps but won't get help.