Page 6 | Reels of parents dancing for joy when kids go to school

Caterpillarcakeforlife · 2023-09-05T21:40:15+00:00

On Instagram & Fb. I get it, I’m craving some space and time on my own now after a long summer. But I just find the really exaggerated reels on social media of the parents being so damn joyful to be getting rid of their kids and back to school a bit..uncomfortable/distasteful Am I just a boring stick in the mud

tattygrl · 06/09/2023 13:31

SouthLondonMum22 · 06/09/2023 12:50

See, the message I get from the mainstream is that as a mother there is something wrong with me because I don't want to spend every minute of the day with my child.

It's an unrealistic expectation and though the OP doesn't apply to me yet because my DC isn't school age, I find I relate more to the light hearted, jokes etc so similar things.

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I definitely agree that the mainstream media vilifies and criticises parents (well, mums) no matter what they do. That's part of my viewpoint, really, that family life and motherhood is devalued, and either put on an unrealistic and isolating pedestal, or demeaned and talked about as if it's the most boring, unaspirational and crap thing you could ever do. Then the celebrations parents do for sending their kids back to school just feeds into the whole nasty narrative. I don't think it's accidental that you can't win either way as a mum. In my opinion children should be respected by society as people and as valued members of family, schools and the world generally, not as either little angels who must be cared for by selfless, martyrish mums or as little devils who need to be packed off to the next caregiver as soon as possible. Both angles dehumanise and cause stress to us as families.

Screamingabdabz · 06/09/2023 13:37

“I think it is very dismissive of children's feelings and ignores the privilege and responsibility of parenthood.”

This sums it up for me ^

doroda · 06/09/2023 13:42

I feel really sorry for the children who had a lovely summer, but now their parents are sitting around weeping. Hopefully they never catch sight of the FB posts about time going too fast. It must be awful to know that your parents' happiness is so wrapped up in you being there - what a responsibility and burden.

5128gap · 06/09/2023 16:01

tattygrl · 06/09/2023 13:31

I definitely agree that the mainstream media vilifies and criticises parents (well, mums) no matter what they do. That's part of my viewpoint, really, that family life and motherhood is devalued, and either put on an unrealistic and isolating pedestal, or demeaned and talked about as if it's the most boring, unaspirational and crap thing you could ever do. Then the celebrations parents do for sending their kids back to school just feeds into the whole nasty narrative. I don't think it's accidental that you can't win either way as a mum. In my opinion children should be respected by society as people and as valued members of family, schools and the world generally, not as either little angels who must be cared for by selfless, martyrish mums or as little devils who need to be packed off to the next caregiver as soon as possible. Both angles dehumanise and cause stress to us as families.

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Whether a mum is happy or not at the thought of her children returning to school is far more likely to be influenced by her personality and that of and her children, the amount of time she has available to occupy them, the amount of money she has, her ease of access to activities, the support she has around her than her internalisation of a societal narrative.
Society can respect children as people as much as it likes, its not much help if you're cooped up in a flat with limited spare cash for activities and no one to share the load.
There may well be a negative narrative at play, but if parents are saying they're happy for the term to start, I'm inclined to believe they may have some cause, and stopping them saying it because its 'nasty' doesn't solve that.

englishrose1234 · 06/09/2023 19:26

DrSbaitso · 06/09/2023 08:58

Someone sent me one of these when the schools reopened after lockdown. I laughed.If I'd known that so many people would have thought thought meant I regretted having children, that I didn't love them, that my kids weren't planned, that I am scarring them with disapproval and this is why they won't talk to me when I'm old etc etc, I'd have...laughed even more, tbh.

Oh em geeeeee lol 😂 that's made my day

Mojoj · 06/09/2023 19:29

doroda · 05/09/2023 23:06

Some people find the holidays really bloody hard and a bit of humour helps with that.

The holidays are horrendous for us. DD has ASD and every day is marred by meltdowns. She fares far better with the routine of school, leaving the house at the same time, wearing the same things etc. I count down the days until she goes back, which of course makes me feel shit and guilty for wishing the time away.

So when I see those kind of posts or memes I feel grateful that it's not just me, it makes me feel a little less shit. I particularly like the toodleloo motherfucker car window one 😂

Agree! And yeah "toodaloo mf's" is my favourite too!😅

Syndulla · 06/09/2023 19:34

I'm not on those social media sites but I can understand where people are coming from. My two DC have very different personalities and don't get on at all. I've read all the books etc about this and tried various techniques etc but the fact is that they have a personality clash. So they spent much of the holidays arguing.

It's exhausting. So I'm happy they are back today because they get a much needed break from each other and I don't have to play diplomat.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 06/09/2023 19:46

I’m genuinely really sad mine have gone back!

I get that it’s a bit of fun, but equally I do find it a bit tinged with sadness

Americano75 · 06/09/2023 19:52

I think if you're lucky enough to be devastated that your kids are going back to school then you should count your blessings to be honest. I love the bones of mine but it can be really hard going a lot of the time and I make no apologies for admitting it.

Seagullchippy · 06/09/2023 21:41

Thepeopleversuswork · 06/09/2023 13:06

@Seagullchippy

Erm, actually school is pretty unpleasant for most children I've ever known.

Seriously? I mean obviously the school experience varies hugely according to the child and the school and it can be quite unpleasant if you're at the wrong school or having a bad time. But the assumption that at baseline school is a negative experience seems pretty bleak.

If nothing else it's not a great idea to communicate to your kids that school is something to be dreaded and avoided.

I've met very few people who liked school, very many who found it stressful, distressing and often scary and unpleasant. Many are scarred for life by it.

My own children and their friends find it at best boring, because the rest of the class tend to be disruptive and the work not very challenging.

I think even those who find it ok would surely rather be doing something else?

RicherThanYews · 06/09/2023 23:41

The toodloo mf meme has killed me too, reminds me of my sister 😂

Solidarity to all the posters who are a bit sad that their children are back in school but I understand parents from the other perspective too.

NoSaladThanks · 07/09/2023 00:20

I couldn't wait for mine to go back after the holidays. I used to literally throw them through the gates.
Then I'd spend the day lazing on the sofa watching crap TV and eating a McDonald's lunch.

YOOHOOHEYITSME · 07/09/2023 00:29

i know its supposed to be a joke but as a home educator i can tell you our community finds these offensive

we have our kids with us all years round
schools are not supposed to be for childcare purposes or to take your chid off your hands

why have kids to "get rid" of at school at such a young age and actually moan when they are in your company in the holidays/half terms

they are your kids not schools bloody enjoy them

it was put up in a HE support group yesterday about what your saying and a member said we have 18 summers and 18 Christmas with kids
way less when they stop believing in santa
make the most of them and dont wish their life away by making out you don't want them at home and they are a inconvenience to you

MissingMoominMamma · 07/09/2023 00:36

Last weekend, I saw one of my pupils in the supermarket with his mum. She was gleefully telling me how much she was looking forward to ‘getting rid of him’ and him being ‘our problem’ again. Poor kid looked crestfallen. I told him we couldn’t wait to have fun with him again.

WhatNoRaisins · 07/09/2023 06:11

The other side though is that it takes a village to raise a child and I would consider my child's primary school part of that village.

I don't have any local grandparents or other family for my child to stay with. If I was to let my child roam free range like her grandparents did, only coming home for meals, then I'd probably be reported to social services.

That's why I'm glad it's term time again, me and DH are very tired from having to single handedly keep them entertained and looked after for 6 weeks and we want them to have other influences than us.

Bopping298 · 07/09/2023 06:25

I think it depends on your circumstances. I work around the kids and had nearly 2 months off with all 3 of them, aged 1 to 5. I was pleased when the eldest two went back to school to be honest! I miss them but with 3 small ones you don’t get the same quality time as with 1 DC, nor is it as relaxed as with bigger children that don’t need so much hands-on care. I had a lot of fun with the kids but I was also bloody exhausted by the end!

Lament · 07/09/2023 07:58

Seagullchippy · 06/09/2023 11:05

Erm, actually school is pretty unpleasant for most children I've ever known.

And perhaps you're describing your own household and home life there, but it certainly doesn't describe mine or those of other families I know (including home schooling families)!

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‘Erm, actually school is pretty unpleasant for most children I've ever known.’

That is really sad. Do you live in an area with shit schools? Our experience has been the opposite. My daughter and her friends were so sad when they left their school!

The situation round your way sounds awful. Funding issues I guess; it will probably only get worse.

Lament · 07/09/2023 08:04

YOOHOOHEYITSME · 07/09/2023 00:29

i know its supposed to be a joke but as a home educator i can tell you our community finds these offensive

we have our kids with us all years round
schools are not supposed to be for childcare purposes or to take your chid off your hands

why have kids to "get rid" of at school at such a young age and actually moan when they are in your company in the holidays/half terms

they are your kids not schools bloody enjoy them

it was put up in a HE support group yesterday about what your saying and a member said we have 18 summers and 18 Christmas with kids
way less when they stop believing in santa
make the most of them and dont wish their life away by making out you don't want them at home and they are a inconvenience to you

Is this a parody post?

It definitely wins a prize for the most uptight, pompous and embarrassingly precious post on the thread. And there is stiff competition.

itsgettingweird · 07/09/2023 08:07

I was revelling about the fact I'm going back - love my job!

But about the fact ds left education this year and is WFH a few days with a day off midweek - because of how many chores I can get done via him during the day which I don't have to do after a long day at work

itsgettingweird · 07/09/2023 08:08

So a kind of "I'm off to school. Ds is keeping house" dance 🤣🤣

Lament · 07/09/2023 08:10

I reckon most people are in the middle and don’t have extreme views either way.

I never posted photos of my kids on social media. I haven’t seen these reels. They do sound quite cringey. But so do the ‘18 Christmas ones’. Both extremes make me roll my eyes. As do the faux concern posts where people are pretending to feel so ‘sad’ for these poor kids.

I worked full time. The school holidays weren’t easy to plan and cost a lot. But the school run was a pain too. So like life, there were pros and cons of every phase of the school year.

I couldn’t care less if you are celebrating with a dance or weeping into your coffee about the end of the holidays. Just don’t do it in a preachy way or tell me there is one particular way I should be feeling and behaving.

CherryCokeFanatic · 07/09/2023 08:11

YABU

NerrSnerr · 07/09/2023 08:12

YOOHOOHEYITSME · 07/09/2023 00:29

i know its supposed to be a joke but as a home educator i can tell you our community finds these offensive

we have our kids with us all years round
schools are not supposed to be for childcare purposes or to take your chid off your hands

why have kids to "get rid" of at school at such a young age and actually moan when they are in your company in the holidays/half terms

they are your kids not schools bloody enjoy them

it was put up in a HE support group yesterday about what your saying and a member said we have 18 summers and 18 Christmas with kids
way less when they stop believing in santa
make the most of them and dont wish their life away by making out you don't want them at home and they are a inconvenience to you

Have you read any of the posts about the cost of holiday childcare, the juggle of work etc?

As a home educator I assume you're in the privileged position of one parents not needing to work significant hours- that's great for you. You must realise that not every family can afford that privilege.

If you don't like other people's jokes then just ignore them. I have seen a few home ed parents delight that they can start taking their kids out again now the holidays are over. Couldn't parents of school kids take offence that the home ed lot don't want their kids mixing with the school kids?

DrSbaitso · 07/09/2023 09:23

i know its supposed to be a joke but as a home educator i can tell you our community finds these offensive

a) you're not the target audience of the joke

b) people are allowed to make jokes that you find offensive

c) it's a privilege to be in a position where you don't have to work and can have that choice.

Lament · 07/09/2023 10:03

DrSbaitso · 07/09/2023 09:23

i know its supposed to be a joke but as a home educator i can tell you our community finds these offensive

a) you're not the target audience of the joke

b) people are allowed to make jokes that you find offensive

c) it's a privilege to be in a position where you don't have to work and can have that choice.

And I bet there are home educators out there that don’t find it offensive. I hate it when people think they can speak for the whole of their ‘community’.