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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Reels of parents dancing for joy when kids go to school

202 replies

Caterpillarcakeforlife · 05/09/2023 22:40

On Instagram & Fb.

I get it, I’m craving some space and time on my own now after a long summer. But I just find the really exaggerated reels on social media of the parents being so damn joyful to be getting rid of their kids and back to school a bit..uncomfortable/distasteful
Am I just a boring stick in the mud

OP posts:
PurpleMonkeys · 05/09/2023 23:26

I was distraught this morning when she went back. She's gone up to year 6 so not a young kid really either. I sat and didn't know what to do with myself.

I miss her when she's not around.

MissedItByThisMuch · 05/09/2023 23:27

Georgeandzippyzoo · 05/09/2023 23:07

I've seen a couple today and although I'm not offended or anything, I did suddenly think how would their kids feel if they saw that. I know it's supposed to be funny for other adults to see but kids don't have that understanding and I can see some being pretty upset.

This. I find all these performative social media “jokes” unfunny anyway, but why post something that would hurt your kids feelings if they saw it?

TeenLifeMum · 05/09/2023 23:27

Social media is all about the extremes I guess. I usually am ready for them to go back to school and for us to regain some routine but actually I’m a bit sad this year. I’ve loved impromptu trips to the river in the evenings, not caring about what time we get home. Dc are 12-15 and I’m loving hanging out with them. I haven’t put this in a reel though.

Xrays · 05/09/2023 23:30

I find it a bit sad too. I would have hated to see my own Mum doing that about me going back to school. I get it, we all enjoy space and adult time away from them but I think even if it’s meant to be a joke no child likes to feel they’re a pest / a burden etc. When I put my son to bed tonight (he’s 11 and has autism and learning difficulties, he attends complex needs school) I knew he was feeling a bit sad about going back to school so we talked for a bit and I told him he’s going to have a fabulous time and it will be nice for him to see his friends, but I also told him I will miss him- I think it’s important for him to know I enjoy spending time at home with him and I’m feeling a little sad that’s ending too, for now anyway. I don’t think we always have to be sarcastic to be funny, which seems to be the new “in” thing on social media etc.

Noodledoodledoo · 05/09/2023 23:31

Caterpillarcakeforlife · 05/09/2023 23:23

@Noodledoodledoo Where do you live? So are you saying the ones who don’t work don’t want them to go back?

No the ones who don't work, are celebrating the most them going back. I find it really sad.

Just outside the M25 location.

GodspeedJune · 05/09/2023 23:37

I remember feeling sad about the holidays being over and my DM commiserating that she was sad too, and missed spending all day with us. I’d have been crestfallen if she’d felt the need to celebrate!

Now I have my own DC I find it even more sad that someone would be relieved to be missing most of their DCs waking hours during the week!

My DM went on to be a teacher and now remarks what a privilege it is to spend her days with the children.

englishrose1234 · 05/09/2023 23:39

If you work full time the holidays are a bit chaotic and stressful and guilt inducing. Struggle of the cost of childcare. Struggle of kids not wanting to go to holiday clubs. Pressure of trying to keep it all together.

Also my sister lives in NI and the holidays there are NINE/TEN weeks! Wtaf. She's a saint.

Kay286 · 05/09/2023 23:41

@Caterpillarcakeforlife ive loved it too , I’m lucky I work part time so have 4 days off every week with the kids , luckily not skint and live in a country with great weather and we’ve done loads ! Summers are precious I know I’m privileged to live like this , but I can still see the humour side of these posts (pretty sure most don’t mean it )
Those that do , maybe they work full time and have guilt they can’t spend the time with their kids or skint so can’t take them for fancy days out or holiday abroad etc - I imagine for single parents it’s bloody tough slog too.

Kay286 · 05/09/2023 23:43

@englishrose1234 Im in Canada and it’s 9 weeks here too ! We get some amazing westher and spend a lot of time at the lake or beach - we’re very lucky though.

UneFoisAuChalet · 05/09/2023 23:46

I’m one of the weirdos who loved lockdown because I had my kids around me 24/7. They are absolute pains in the arse but … I’d rather have my kids at home with me. Our little bubble. However dysfunctional we may be.

I genuinely feel as if I let them ‘out in the real world’ most of the year and then summer holidays roll around and I get used to them at home/on holiday and want to keep them near. I work full time so it’s not as if I’m a stay at home mum nor do I bake banana bread or into home schooling or similar shit. Basically, I’m not very maternal but I like hanging out with my boys. And the relentless routine of school, homework, clubs, sports, friends, mean we actually spend very little time together until the school holidays.

So I shed a little tear this morning because I have to wait x amount of time until everything slows down again and I get them back.

gherkeen · 05/09/2023 23:47

I get that it's a joke but when our kids make jokes that are hurtful to others we tell them off. Imagine they saw these reels. I hate it.

VikingLady · 05/09/2023 23:48

I wonder how those children would feel.

I home educate my two, both of whom have SEN and can be very... challenging. But the idea of publicly celebrating not having to spend time with them - kids who are emotionally reliant on them - doesn't sit right with me. How would those parents feel if they were utterly reliant on someone who acted that way?

Starlightstarbright2 · 05/09/2023 23:48

I used to feel sad when Ds went back - just finished year 11 so will have been home 12 weeks by the time he goes back .

He needs more routine , I don’t do things with him he doesn’t want to - so I am looking forward to the tidy house and better routine ..

judge me if you want ..

Mehmeh22 · 05/09/2023 23:48

I love my kids a lot but they have fought through a lot of it and I have no support. That is hard. So I feel I need to tap out. Today was the last day of the holiday for us and my brain is completely fried. I was a dry husk. Spending a fortune, the shit weather, working. juggling childcare and whinging has took his toll.

So I found the reels light relief to feel that it's not only me. Others feel the same. I would never show my kids those reels.

So yes, there are many like that but give parents a break. I know I should appreciate my children every second of the day, bit I am human. I don't judge others who say they cherish every second. Don't judge me!

Seagullchippy · 05/09/2023 23:50

It must be very upsetting for their children. I'd be devastated if I knew my parents were happy to be rid of me!

I'm really sad about school starting again. I want more time with my child, more beautiful times together, and I hate getting up early and the constant stressful routines and things to organise and remember. Permanent exhaustion!

SouthLondonMum22 · 05/09/2023 23:52

gherkeen · 05/09/2023 23:47

I get that it's a joke but when our kids make jokes that are hurtful to others we tell them off. Imagine they saw these reels. I hate it.

Surely that depends on the child? They aren't all going to react the exact same way. Some may find it funny.

Orturo · 05/09/2023 23:54

It's fine.

Not even half as annoying as the sm posts from teachers about setting their alarm clocks to get up in the morning and oh god the hardship! Be a bit more bearable if they didn't spend all sodding year telling us that they work throughout their holidays.

Phos · 05/09/2023 23:54

Probably intended as a humorous antithesis to all the weeping and wailing and “slow down time!” posts that also proliferate this time of year.

Mehmeh22 · 06/09/2023 00:00

@Orturo the difference between the holidays and term time is that as a teacher, you can work anytime during the holidays. Term time, you have no choice and have to get used to no lunch or toilet breaks. Plus if you are even slightly ill, you need to be top of your game.

You have no idea! Lol

MotherofGorgons · 06/09/2023 00:03

I think the problem is parenting on social media. It makes everything performative and contrived.

smilesup · 06/09/2023 00:06

I miss those summer holidays so much. We are now in teenage years of begging them to spend time with us. And they will all soon be gone.
I loved the holidays and still do as even though they are with their mates etc they still want to see me a bit (usually when Im.just about to go into a big meeting with my CEO!).

ReadingSoManyThreads · 06/09/2023 00:13

I've not seen any as I don't do those social media sites, but I hate hearing people moaning about "having to" spend time with/entertain their own children in the holidays and wishing for them to be back in school.

I home educate and love being with my children all the time, I just cannot get the mentality of these people, but I mean the ones actually moaning, not the ones joking that this post seems to be about.

wejammin · 06/09/2023 00:18

I think it's ok to make a joke and be honest about a small part of how it feels when the kids go back to school. I haven't seen any that say "thank fuck, I hate my kids and now I can spend all day doing as I please without the little shits". But I've got 3 kids and 2 jobs and not enough money or annual leave and it would be a lie to say I don't feel a bit relieved to have an end to 6 weeks of juggling childcare, work, snacks (god the snacks), "fun days out", sibling fighting and endless guilt about screen time.
I bloody love my kids and spending time with them but it's nice to feel a bit of solidarity that for other people the holidays are not all jolly outings and trips to the seaside and making memories and that school gives us a routine and the chance to get stuff done.
But that type of explanation doesn't make a catchy reel does it.

FreestyleInTrance · 06/09/2023 01:36

englishrose1234 · 05/09/2023 23:39

If you work full time the holidays are a bit chaotic and stressful and guilt inducing. Struggle of the cost of childcare. Struggle of kids not wanting to go to holiday clubs. Pressure of trying to keep it all together.

Also my sister lives in NI and the holidays there are NINE/TEN weeks! Wtaf. She's a saint.

This is exactly it!

This academic year has been particularly difficult. My daughter was in reception, so they had a three week 'settling in' period where they barely attended, and then her class closed for every strike day, so that burned through a fair amount of annual leave, and in May half term my daughter got sick, so (on top of paying for holiday club) I had to take annual leave to cover those 4 days.

It's not about not wanting to 'spend six weeks' with my child, it's about the pressure of covering those 6 weeks. I've spent 5 of those weeks juggling a patchwork of 4 different holiday clubs (of varying quality) and days of annual leave taken by one parent at a time, with one week of actual family holiday all together. The drop off and pick-ups alone were a logistical nightmare. For school we can walk, but the holiday clubs were further away and we only have one car.

The 4th holiday club was a last minute booking as my Dad's been recently diagnosed with cancer and is undergoing treatment, so my parents couldn't help as much as they would have done otherwise. It was supposed to be sports based, but she seems to have mostly watched films... she was happy enough and made friends, but I didn't feel great about sending her.

(She went back to her Forest Preschool for 8 days of holiday club, and to her ballet school for a 3 day summer school, and those were genuinely great, she came back having learned new things and I would happily send her again!)

I am thrilled that school is back, that every day we take her to the same place and know that she's in safe hands, in walking distance, with her friends and actually learning stuff. I wouldn't post a reel or anything, but I get it.

ColleenDonaghy · 06/09/2023 03:07

Geez, they're only going to school, not down the mines. Definitely overthinking it.