Reels of parents dancing for joy when kids go to school

[Caterpillarcakeforlife]

On Instagram & Fb.

I get it, I’m craving some space and time on my own now after a long summer. But I just find the really exaggerated reels on social media of the parents being so damn joyful to be getting rid of their kids and back to school a bit..uncomfortable/distasteful
Am I just a boring stick in the mud

Er this wasn’t about you or your kids, it was a general observation. Kids don’t get the kind of humour that involves irony or sarcasm - they just hear the underlying negative message. I don’t get why anyone would risk hurting their kids if they ever saw it just to get kudos on instagram. I find it pointless and narcissistic. Clearly you and plenty of other people don’t <shrug>

Erm, actually school is pretty unpleasant for most children I've ever known.

And perhaps you're describing your own household and home life there, but it certainly doesn't describe mine or those of other families I know (including home schooling families)!

It's not just you OP. I don't care either way as I don't have kids but one of my colleagues was talking this morning about seeing a group of mums doing a conga line outside of the school on Monday, and finding it distasteful.

It's a bit attention seeking. I think a lot of us (both working and non working) felt relief but just wanted to get on with the jobs we've been putting off.

Who shows these videos to their kids? I've seen a couple on FB, got one WhatsApped to me at the end of lockdown. They're not for the kids to see! They're a joke among the grownups.

I think it's narcissistic to assume you understand people's children better than them. I don't know anyone who posted a joke like this, but most people won't post something that will hurt their children's feelings, so perhaps the people posting it know their children will understand the humour.

This jump to judge a fairly mild joke is so OTT.

We don't have the village so much, so school does give parents a much needed break. Juggling child care and work is also stressful. I agree, though, that derogatory jokes and sarcasm about children is distasteful. I don't think well of a teacher sarcastically calling their pupils 'little darlings' either. I realise I maybe in the minority and perhaps most parents think it's fine for teachers to joke like this. Many parents also think it's fine to joke about being delighted to return their kids to school. Still, I think it is very dismissive of children's feelings and ignores the privilege and responsibility of parenthood.

When our two were young strangers would say to us towards the middle of August 'Bet you can't wait for school to start!!' and we would reply 'No we're not, we love their Summer holiday!', not saying that we were both teachers and definitely not looking forward to going back to work!

I can think of a lot of reasons why parents would find holidays hard. I know people who work who find them hard because of juggling work with unsatisfactory and expensive childcare; I know people who don’t work who struggle to pay for the activities and food and say their children rub each other up the wrong way and don’t cope well with the lack of structure.

It's only dismissive of their feelings if you joke about it in front of them and they are either too young to understand that it's a joke or are the type of child who would be upset by a joke like that.

I do feel it is often a response to the you must enjoy every second, they are only little once, you only have 14 summer holidays with them etc crowd which is also all over social media.

I always wondered what kids thought about this. You can think privately "Thank God the kids are back at school" if you want, but to make it public and make kids feel like a burden isn't nice.

@SouthLondonMum22 Agreed there's a sort of guilt trip placed on parents when you're not allowed to need a break. I don't know, I feel crappy joking behind someone's back or at the expense of someone vulnerable. So even if kids never see the joke or don't understand it, it doesn't sit right with me!

Children know whether their parents enjoy their company, find them hstd work, or typically a combination of both, from the way their parents interact with them on a day to day basis. The time they give them, the interest they show. A joke post on SM from a parent who has a healthy relationship with their child is no more going to upset the child than a 'my kids are my world' one makes up for disinterest or unkindness.

I understand, and I agree that it's intended to be lighthearted, and I also think it's very good that these days parents (mums, especially) can express their feelings around parenting more openly.

However, it does seem to contribute to the culture we have (at least in the West where I live) of viewing children as a tiresome, stressful but necessary "project" to be completed by parents, and that they are by default a nuisance with occasional nice moments. I think this culture is promoted in the mainstream because family life is and always has been devalued, in favour of productive work and financial aims. It's inconvenient to have children around because they need attention, time, effort and patience, etc. That is time and effort that could be put into work. That's my take on why the mainstream promotes "children are such a pain" narrative, and these reels really feed into it.

Again, I do NOT have a problem with parents being able to freely and lightheartedly express themselves. I think that's crucial for mental health and wellbeing. For me, there's a subtle difference between that and the depressing cultural narrative that family life and children are an inconvenience that we just have to get through til they're 18 and we can get them out of the nest and "get our lives back". Parents' expression of their valid stress gets co-opted by the narrative that kids are annoying and stressful. I do wonder what the effect is on kids who pick up this message that the adults who care for them, whether family or teachers, just can't wait to hand them off to the next lot.

@tattygrl 👏

its a split for me.

I crave the holidays as i loathe getting up at 7am and i hate that my afternoon is intruded on by 3pm pick up.

However, having them both out the house means i have the freedom to just fuck off out for the day without having to think about it.

By the time school term reappears, i have cabin fever.

What confuses me is do any of these people work 🤔 I work full time. So I don't get to magically chill out when the kids go back to school, I continue to work!

Personally, No.

I'm a Parent/Carer, my oldest has AuDHD and a few other disabilities that means i can't work because he needs me around.

The 2-3 days a week he is at college are my 'respite' and time to do jobs outside the house, like run errands, or get the noisy jobs done i can't do with him in the house.

I also look after my elderly mother and her dog.

So yeah, when both kids are at school/college, i enjoy the silence, being able to drink my coffee in peace, and leave the house without it needly military precision planning of trying to wrangle an autistic teenager who i can't leave home alone.

Today I am enjoying being able to work knowing I will not be interrupted.

See, the message I get from the mainstream is that as a mother there is something wrong with me because I don't want to spend every minute of the day with my child.

It's an unrealistic expectation and though the OP doesn't apply to me yet because my DC isn't school age, I find I relate more to the light hearted, jokes etc so similar things.

Also does no-one work in the Uk? If the kids are back to school are they not also back to work?

@Seagullchippy

Erm, actually school is pretty unpleasant for most children I've ever known.

Seriously? I mean obviously the school experience varies hugely according to the child and the school and it can be quite unpleasant if you're at the wrong school or having a bad time. But the assumption that at baseline school is a negative experience seems pretty bleak.

If nothing else it's not a great idea to communicate to your kids that school is something to be dreaded and avoided.

Some are happy to go back to work.

Others never stopped working and so are relieved to be back to the predictability of the school day plus wraparound care schedule instead of a different holiday club with different hours every week.

It is clearly meant to be 'tongue in cheek'.

As a working Mum, i don't get any time to myself when they go back to school as i work full-time. But, it is nice to have a routine whereby i'm not having to navigate every day for just over 8 weeks and working quite hard myself.

We've had a lovely Summer break - abroad for 3 weeks and various out-tings etcbut, i still did a sigh of relief when they went back today.

Of course we do work. Bet many feel relief at not having to find childcare for the summer holidays.