To just want to stay at home and make pancakes

[Drizzlewithatouchofgrey]

Last week of being at home with Dd, 5, until it’s back to school and work..all the rushing, emails, WhatsApp school groups and so on.
Lovely, slow morning making pancakes for Dd for breakfast, early morning dog walk, baking later.
Aibu to want to live like this everyday?
I’d very happily never work again, given the choice. People say they’d be bored, I wouldn’t, I’d walk the dog, meet friends, work out, read, write, cook great meals, be fully present with Dd without feeling rushed/stressed at times

YANBU that sounds lovely. You’re very very lucky to be able to have those slow days.

Although don’t judge those who do count the days til their kids go back to school. For example both of mine are very high needs waiting to be assessed for autism/adhd and peaceful days like that just aren’t possible for us, believe me I try! So I’m one of those who was counting down the days because we need the routine and structure of school life and I need the time to myself to preserve my sanity.

@bookworm44

You work FT because you have to, clearly then not one of the mothers my post is aimed at.

Except that I also happen to believe that mothers have as much right to work as fathers for whatever reason they want and that fathers should be subject to the same scrutiny of their parenting as mothers. As I said earlier, no one tells working men that they don't love their children, simply on the basis that they are going out to work.

You have no right to tell people who work (either through choice or otherwise) that they are desperate to get away from their children. Your post (and those of others) is offensive to all working mothers. Until people stop with this sort of crap I'll keep calling it out.

Which goes back to the fact that it's sexist since you don't judge fathers in the same way.

I work because I want to work. I don't have to since I'm married but I also enjoy my financial independence and would never give that up.

Of course you're not being unreasonable OP. It all depends on how much you actually need to work.

Just because some women find their children boring, on the whole, doesn't mean we all do! That's their problem, not yours.

What if doctors, nurses, firefighters, police, etc all decided they wanted to put two fingers up to capitalism, work maximum two days, and spend the rest of it doing ‘real things that matter’?

I don’t know about your GP practice but I don’t know a single GP that works more than 2 or 3 days a week now.

We home educate and love the slow mornings.

& how many posts have we had on here all through the summer from people moaning about their children being home & they are counting the days until they go back to school as they can't cope with them?!

@Holly60 I can't see where I said that, how on earth did you arrive at that conclusion?
I said I never get why people claim to be bored looking after their own children, so why bother having any?
This does not mean that you have to stay at home.to look after them. Of course you have to go out to work!

@bookworm44

& how many posts have we had on here all through the summer from people moaning about their children being home & they are counting the days until they go back to school as they can't cope with them?!

I've not posted or commented on any of these threads (and I haven't even seen many). But surely you can grasp that it's possible for people who are looking after kids FT to have a brief vent about it online without it meaning they don't love their children? Like you might complain about your husband briefly without it meaning you want to divorce him?

Find me a mother who is ecstatic at every moment spent changing nappies or putting toys away or singing "Wind the Bobbin Up" (again) or telling their teenagers to tidy their rooms for the 15th time and I'll find you a liar. To extrapolate from that they want to give their kids away is just utterly misleading.

Well, it occurs to me that the responsibility of raising small humans into functioning adult ones is rather enormous and that humans didn't evolve to raise their highly dependent young without a support network of relatives and larger community to lean on.

We now live in an extremely independent society, with everyone ensconced in their own homes, separate from family and network, and so the responsibility often rests on the shoulders of one or two adults, who may or may not have any prior experience of babies/toddlers/children, with little family or financial resource, and no decent societal structures of support.

It's much like dropping a non-swimmer into the middle of the ocean, and blaming them for drowning by saying, "you knew water was wet before you got in the water, deal with it!"

Raising children is much, much harder than it should be.

@YukoandHiro more than one of us actually

Those comments are in response to staying at home to look after them instead of working though.

I'd find it incredibly dull to be a SAHM but I don't always find it dull due to the fact that I work and DS is becoming more interesting the older he gets.

He's also still a baby. Some people find certain stages incredibly dull but luckily, they don't stay babies or toddlers for long so of course they should still have children.

I work for myself from home and have toddlers who are in nursery full time. Life is quite stressful, but manageable. I'm at home most of the time so I can take breaks and no longer experience the stress and anxiety of office politics, line managers and the like.

I don't think I could do nothing, it would stress me out immensely. Even though my business still needs to grow and it can really take its toll on me at times, I feel it's a great middle ground because it gives me great purpose and fulfillment.

The only thing that is missing compared to when I worked for someone else is, obviously, the same level of financial security from the business compared to the monthly fixed pay-cheque. Even if I won the lottery I wouldn't sit back and do nothing. I'd just keep starting new ventures.

@greyhairnomore yes married. I have a good career as retained my senior position despite being part time so have good pension contributions and I salary sacrifice.

My husband is a high earner and we won three houses jointly and I have one I bought before we got together but we see all assets and income as joint and shared equally making all financial decisions together.

God forbid if we ever split I presume I'd be eligible to 50% of all assets, child maintenance, potential spousal support etc but whilst I'm not naive, I didn't marry to contemplate divorce.