To think paramedics are patronising

[dontbeunreasonable]

First of all I think paramedics are absolutely amazing and I have so so much respect for the job they do. I personally know three and think very highly of them all.
However, when I watch 999 shows like 'Ambulance' etc the way they speak to elderly patients makes me cringe.
For example: last night I saw one where they went to home of an almost comatose man and the woman was all 'hello darling hold my hand' all perfectly fine and suitable as kindness is needed. But then she kept saying 'ooh Harold it's been a while since somebody has touched my knee' then kept repeating it to his family members who were coming in and out. Saying again 'ooh, don't disturb us he's touching my knee'!
I find this so disrespectful as the man was unable to speak but conscious and he may not have appreciated that kind of nonsense.
I know when my father was dying of cancer he would have absolutely hated all that carry on.
I keep seeing stuff like that when they talk to the elderly calling them sweetheart and 'oh I bet you still have all the lads after you' etc and I really think it's not on.
Side note: it often seems to be the ones from the north of England where I know the humour is very different to London. But there's a time and place isn't there?

@PostItInABook it sounds like you've got a good head and heart on you - thanks for sharing.

1. Even if they were, I wouldn't care because by definition, what they do is so urgent and demanding that their tone of voice is totally irrelevant, surely.

2. But in fact I've always found paramedics to be at least as amazing as they're portrayed on TV dramas. We've had a few incidents with them and their competence, their cool, calm demeanour, the way they keep you or your relative talking to distract you from unpleasant sights or distressing procedures etc is so skillful. I'm in awe of them as a profession. Especially when you consider that some morons actually target them while they are attending an incident.

3. They can do no wrong in my eyes!

My highly intelligent mum had a stroke 14 years ago. She's now paralysed but as sharp in her conversation as ever. Over those years I've watched her be treated and spoken to as if she's was a toddler SO many times. She hates it, and I'm afraid she takes no prisoners when it happens.

This is by carers, nurses and doctors. I haven't seen paramedics with her, but who knows. I hope I can stand up for myself when it starts to happen to me.

I had an awful experience with some paramedics a good number of years ago now which has made me worry about ever needing to call them.

I was in town on a night out and found a passed out young lad (maybe 17/18?). He had no phone, no wallet, was lying in his own sick and completely non responsive.

I told the closest doorman who said he couldn't do anything as wasnt a patron so my friends and I ended up sitting with him and calling 111.
No taxis would take him and we obviously didn't know where to send him anyways. 111 kept asking for details that we just didn't know on the phone (name, DOB, what he'd ingested etc) and in the end we practically had to beg for some help.

When the paramedics came they were clearly pissed off that they were responding to a drunken lad and kept telling us off for him being in that state. We had been drinking as well but definitely not stupid drunk and had been trying to help!

Eventually they took him in an ambulance and I called the hospital the next day to see if he was okay but they wouldn't tell me anything (obviously).

I don't think it's just a paramedic thing. There is a tendency to talk to the elderly as if they were children in all sorts of contexts. When my mother was talked to like that, she invariably pointed out that she wasn't 3 years old and would really quite like to be treated as an adult, which seemed to come to quite a shock to a few people.

YANBU I agree op, it makes me cringe.

YABU, hugely so.

On some of their shifts, I am amazed they have the energy to be pleasant at all. I like watching those sorts of programmes occasionally and am regularly reminded of how paramedics (and nurses and other staff in the A&E programmes) are so infinitely patient and compassionate with so many of the people that they treat.
Humour and distraction are a big part of getting people to relax which helps medically in so many cases, too.

I find it all a bit uncomfortable too. My grandad was an eminent professor who even into his 90s was being asked to contribute to research in his field. It did feel a bit infantilising when he became suddenly unwell to have him spoken to like he was a child when he was an incredibly intelligent man in command of all his faculties. No one would speak to my 38yo husband like that, and it wasn't a type of interaction my grandad would have had with anyone in any other sphere. No one would address him like that otherwise.

But the paramedics don't know him, they don't know anyone, and for some people I suppose that might be really comforting and soothing for them. I think there's probably a middle ground somewhere, but when you have different personalities etc. then I think there will also be vast differences in interactions with people.

But I do find that show difficult and tend to skip the elderly sections because some of it just is too much, that kind of humour/banter isn't for me nor any of the older people in my family. But I understand it comes from a good place

My mum went to a make-up and hair session for women with cancer many years ago and came back frustrated by how patronising she'd found the people offering it but feeling like she couldn't complain because they were obviously trying to do a good thing.

I think what many pps are complaining about is a style of communication which has become standard in so many professional medical settings in the last few decades. Yes, I know what they mean - some HPs do talk to you as though you are a child - even younger doctors do this now - which must be how they're trained. I've never found paramedics (in the sense of ambulance people/first responders) to be guilty of this, though. My experience with them has been very dry 'blokey' humour - and that includes the women. Not patronising at all.

Thinking about it, yes, I've been irritated by doctors using words like 'tummy' (which apart from being babyish, is very imprecise!) and assuming I have a 7 year-old's knowledge of the human body etc, but actually it's been docs rather than paramedics who I notice this with. Just my personal experience.

Talking to the elderly in a different way to how you'd talk to someone in their 20s/30s/40s ....

It's hard to generalise, but the love, sweetheart, holding hand, speaking a bit more slowly and being that bit more gentle - yes. But what age it is ok to start with the sexual inuendo jokes?

60? 70?
Or maybe just don't. In any profession!

I think there needs to be training for all NHS professionals/care staff on how to address patients kindly without being patronising. Especially older patients, who often have to endure people talking to them like they are a child. There's no need to add indignity to old age and illness.

There is. There is training in all areas of the NHS on person centred care, privacy, dignity, etc etc nowadays but what we have, particularly in the paramedic world, is a kind of half and half workforce……half that were trained years ago and remain enmeshed in the ‘old school’ way and the other half who are trained in modern paramedic education. One is not necessarily better than the other and there are overlaps and a kind of grey area in between, but each brings slight differences in culture and approach to the job.

From experience, whilst Police will stamp around and shout at people & Firefighters concentrate upon planning things well away from you - the paramedic is the one who crawls under the vehicle with you, and stays with you when you're trying not to scream, reassuring you that they're there and you're going to be looked after.

I'm fine with them taking the piss a bit when it's not immediately life threatening - if it gets a reaction, they can use that to see how you are in terms of consciousness, stress, etc. It's when they don't joke or banter that you know you're in the shit.

I don't have a huge amount of interaction with the medical profession, and don't recall any with paramedics, but at all ages I've had experience of Nurses/GPs/Hospital consultants be extremely patronising - and others in the same grade being thoroughly professional.

The ones who attended my daughter were horrible

The only time I've ever had any interaction with a paramedic was in Manchester. I'm from Northern Ireland and mentioned it as we were going to the hospital. He started asking me questions from a form.

Nationality? British?

I said 'no, Irish'.

He smirked at the other paramedic and said 'yeah, same thing'.

I didn't think there was any need for it.

Oh, I tell a lie. I had a drunken accident in Liverpool and kept apologising to the paramedic. He said I was the nicest girl he had ever met. Obviously a lie but I thought it was sweet.
The plot thickens!

Totally agree OP. And they get automatic hero status, like GPS.

If I spoke to somebody like that in my job (support/charity) I'd be up for misconduct.

That tv programme does paramedics no favours. I work for an ambulance company and all our paramedics are utterly professional.

All of yours may be perfectly professional and a lot of them are.
But as the thread shows from other comments what I described does happen a lot. The show was only an example.

Ha! Well that's definitely ignorance. I would hope most people know the difference

No.

I think people who start threads about life saving professionals are unpleasant though.

Attended any gruesome deaths yourself recently, all in a day's work?

Who's got your goat?!
I didn't say anything nasty, it was just a conversation.
As you asked, I witnessed my friend's partner die of a knife attack a few months ago and helped the best I could.
This wasn't about dismissing the work they do if you'd read the post.

The thing is, they don't know the patient from Adam when they meet them. If they were purely matter of fact then that may not be the right approach for a patient who would feel more comfortable with the joking around approach that you highlighted. They have to just go into a situation and judge the best approach to take. They may have done so in your example and decided to take the jokey approach.

Did the patient seem uncomfortable with the interaction? And if so, did the paramedic change their manner?

oh give it a rest.