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AIBU?

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Original poster

To miss DS first day of school?

116 replies

jswn · 03/09/2023 01:33

DS starts reception this week. I am doing a degree that requires placement, I have been off sick so I am very behind on hours.

I have an assessment at the end of next week that determines whether I can pass on to the next year of the course. For this assessment, I need a piece of feedback from everyone I work with each day next week.

I emailed to ask whether I could start and finish late (I would need to drop him off for 9am). I got a response saying I could start at 9:30, but I love a half an hour a commute away. By the time I drop DS off, drive there, park, get changed and reach the place it'll be way past half 9.

I don't want to get in trouble or rubbish feedback, I really need to miss this assignment.

But DS is my only child, it would be DM or DF that dropped him off. The thought of not being there for him on his first day makes me want to cry.

Im also missing drop off/pick up for the rest of the week to.

What would you do?

OP posts:
HonoriaLucastaDelagardie · 03/09/2023 15:02

Take him and then make your way to work. You've explained the situation already to them, so if you're late by 10minutes screw them.

More likely screw her if the feedback she gets from this placement is that her timekeeping is poor and she lacks commitment.

Women in, or training to be in, professional roles need to behave professionally.

materialgworl · 03/09/2023 18:51

Do the placement.

maryberryslayers · 03/09/2023 19:31

Go to school separately with DM and DS a bit early get some pictures give him a kiss and and leave at 8:50.

That way you'll technically have dropped him off and still be able to get to placement.

LostAtTheCrossRoad · 03/09/2023 19:37

Honestly, with the benefit of 17 years of hindsight and two kids, it's just not that big a deal. Do the placement, your son will be totally fine.

Sugarfree23 · 03/09/2023 19:53

Op your placement has to take priority.
Get Gran to take lots of photos and a video when LO comes out of school.

Dropping of on first day is a bit of a non-event its over and done with in 5mins.

Heartofglass12345 · 03/09/2023 20:28

I'm assuming this is health care related and your supernumerary? It really annoys me when they do this unless it's something really important you need to be there for. I remember being on placement and they asked if I could do weekends as they were short. Um no, I work on the weekends to get money to feed myself Grin

Stompythedinosaur · 03/09/2023 21:01

Heartofglass12345 · 03/09/2023 20:28

I'm assuming this is health care related and your supernumerary? It really annoys me when they do this unless it's something really important you need to be there for. I remember being on placement and they asked if I could do weekends as they were short. Um no, I work on the weekends to get money to feed myself Grin

I can get it if it is based around needing to be in for a handover. Attending handover is a safety issue in my field.

Caterina99 · 03/09/2023 21:26

I have no recollection of my first day of school. I’m 38.

No first day fuss here for either of my kids. DC1 was aug 2020 so his first day was online. And then we moved to an area where they get a school bus, so new school for DC1 and first day of school for DC2 was just me waving them off on the bus.

Phineyj · 03/09/2023 21:59

He'll be at school for 14 years! As long as someone drops him off it'll be fine, honestly.

Phineyj · 03/09/2023 22:00

Also I've just remembered I walked to school by myself the first day circa 1977. It was the norm then!

Azurehawker · 03/09/2023 22:25

I wasn’t able to pick my ds up on his first day of school, he had to go to after school childcare. I was quietly upset about it but didn’t say anything to ds, his big sister was going too so he just felt like he was doing some big kid stuff and was fine. I really don’t think he had any big expectations about me being the one to pick him up because I’d always been clear that wasn’t the plan. At least your ds will have Gp to make a fuss!

Hankunamatata · 03/09/2023 22:47

My dc who are 10, 12 and 14 don't remember who took them the first day of school. I asked them earlier

lapsedbookworm · 03/09/2023 23:03

@jswn could you go and your DM/DF go as well on the first day, then you can walk with him /give him a hug at the gate but get off in time to get there for half 9?

In the long run it sounds like you are building a better life for your son so it will be worth the sacrifices

I found it hard sending my son to nursery as a 7 month old but now I feel so proud what a great life I have built for us

bnotts · 03/09/2023 23:08

It really won't matter if you are there. Plenty of kids are dropped by other relatives/nursery/childminders especially given the phased starts many schools have. Think long-term and good luck with your placement.

fuckssaaaaake · 03/09/2023 23:34

jswn · 03/09/2023 02:14

Thank you. I just feel so bad that I'm missing his whole first week of school. I won't do a single school run.

Same for me as my business opened the same day my DD started school. Not on purpose, I hadn't twigged until too late to change as all advertising had been done. You will feel guilty but not for long, and it's not necessary. My Dd wouldn't be able to tell you who took her in but she's def proud her mum owns a cafe that she can bring her friends to after school

FUPAgirl · 04/09/2023 09:14

OP they sound very reasonable, I would just reply saying it would actually be slightly after 9.30 - though I would do my best to mitigate that, eg can you wear your work clothes from home, with a coat over or whatever? Can your parents drop you to placement as a one off to save you parking? The traffic may be slightly lighter after 9 too remember. However parking might be impossible! Just make it very clear that you will stay on to make the hours up.

If you have to miss it though it really isn't a big deal, I asked my DC there about their first day of school and they don't remember anything about who brought them, neither do I tbh!

I was a healthcare student too when mine were small, so I do understand the awful juggle. It is worth it though, I promise! I am now the manager of the area I found hardest to juggle 'hours-wise' as a student and I love my job every single day. Keep your eye on the bigger picture Flowers

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