Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

It’s not normal to leave a 2 year old home alone for any length of time, is it?

104 replies

DancinInSeptember · 02/09/2023 22:25

Name changed here.

I went out for drinks with a friend for the evening, and we walked back to her house after. I said I’d get an taxi but she insisted her fiancé would drive me home. Fiancé said because their house is out in the sticks it would be difficult to get a taxi, I gave in and said “thanks, if you’re sure.”

I said I felt bad because I didn’t want to disrupt their 2yo’s sleep. But my friend said “don’t worry about it, it’s fine” and I’m sure she said something about the kid being fine once plonked in the car seat. On getting in the car, the fiancé said “oh, you’re coming?” in surprise to her, she said yes and we all got in the car. All except the kid that is.

At that point I said “what about Amy?” (Not real name) and my friend said “oh she’ll be fine she sleeps through anything, even if the dog barks” and I realised the kid wasn’t in the car and I was shook. We’d had drinks but weren’t drunk and I was in disbelief that this scenario was playing out. I just kind of froze and didn’t say much during the 10 minute journey.

I feel awful that I didn’t kick up a fuss and guilty I let this happen. But I feel the fact they’re both feel it’s OK to leave their kid home alone, is completely negligent and dangerous. What the fuck do I say? I want to bring it up but no idea where the hell I start? We’re really good friends but now I’m questioning everything. AIBU??

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 02/09/2023 22:26

God no! Not normal at all!

GuinnessBird · 02/09/2023 22:26

Fucking hell, I'd be reporting them.

fourelementary · 02/09/2023 22:27

Report them. That’s disgraceful…

Clefable · 02/09/2023 22:27

That's nuts and the way they spoke about it and the fact your friend wasn't even surprised means it was obviously something they've done before.

Orchidflower1 · 02/09/2023 22:28

This likely wasn’t the first time something like this has happened with them and unless you say something serious- it won’t be the last either.

Ratfinkstinkypink · 02/09/2023 22:28

No, it's not normal or acceptable to leave a 2 year old home, alone even if they are asleep and unlikely to wake.

TenThousandSpoons · 02/09/2023 22:28

Crazy, especially as there were two of them so one could have stayed home easily.

I’m guessing the two year old is in a cot so they are thinking she can’t get into any trouble but what if they had a car crash and couldn’t get back for hours, or worse?

Hawkins0009 · 02/09/2023 22:29

Error post

Hawkins0009 · 02/09/2023 22:29

Hell no, holy trinity, that is omg

LuisaF · 02/09/2023 22:29

I doubt this was the first time. Report but shes going to know its you…..friendship over

Notsuredontknow · 02/09/2023 22:29

Not at all normal and it’s really disappointing you didn’t say so at the time but I guess you know already know that. Tbh it’s too serious a point to be beating around the bush. I think you need to tell them that you wished you’d said something at the time, it’s been on your mind since and you think it’s utterly irresponsible

gm2023 · 02/09/2023 22:30

This is completely irresponsible.

“You can contact the NSPCC Helpline by calling 800 5000 0808 800 5000 or emailing [email protected]. Due to an increase in demand across our service, our voice Helpline is currently available 10am–8pm Monday to Friday. You can still email [email protected] at any time for free, and you don’t have to say who you are. If you think a child is in immediate danger, please call the police on 999 straight away.”

Please safeguard the child.

Gymmum82 · 02/09/2023 22:31

You should have told her at the time she needed to stay home. Why did it take 2 of them to drive you?
Weird and completely unacceptable obviously

UndercoverCop · 02/09/2023 22:31

When DS was first old enough to go up to bed without us being in the same room, DH said I'm going to walk down to the shop to get some milk. Without thinking I said, I'll come for the fresh air and the walk. He just stared at me for the 30 seconds or so it took my brain to catch up and feel like a complete moron, then offered to stay home if I really wanted the walk.
There's no way either of us would've left a young child home alone.

Hollyppp · 02/09/2023 22:31

Absolutely report to SS. What if there had been a fire or they were in a car accident???

really awful

HiCandles · 02/09/2023 22:32

Absolutely not acceptable at all ever.
Could be a fire, roof collapse, crazed dog jumping in cot, a break in, they could be injured when out.
I think I would ask to have a serious conversation with her and try to impress upon her why this is a bad idea. Very difficult situation as if she laughs it off really the only correct thing you can do is report to social services which is going to end your friendship sadly.

indecisivewoman81 · 02/09/2023 22:36

God that's awful. Am I right in thinking they not only left a 2 year old at home but that there was a dog in the house?

You need to say something.

TallerThanAverage · 02/09/2023 22:39

You said nothing, I hate to say it but you’re just as bad as them for keeping quiet.

CarasMama · 02/09/2023 22:40

Fiance should have insisted she stayed home with the kid.
What a pair of idiots.
Report them

OneAtATime · 02/09/2023 22:42

Not normal to leave a two year old at all

sillyuniforms · 02/09/2023 22:44

It's totally not normal. I don't get why it needed both of them to take you back. That's odd.
But I suspect loads of parents leave babies asleep in cots for 15 min and no one ever knows.
My neighbour used to take her older one to school & leave other at home in cot and same at 3pm. It was 30 min each time. She walked ten min to school, collected & walked back. 5 days a week. No one would have realised and assumed she had childcare. She isn't from the UK and thought that was perfectly normal

Blueberrystraw · 02/09/2023 22:45

Was she very drunk and not thinking straight?

QuiltedHippo · 02/09/2023 22:46

Is the fiance the flirty type? Trying to think of some insane reason she wanted to accompany you. That is just awful

Truemilk · 02/09/2023 22:48

PLEASE report them for the child's sake

Imagine if there had been a fire

boomtickhouse · 02/09/2023 22:50

Sounds like she didn't trust you with her husband.

No good parent leaves their 2yo at home alone, this wasnt even an emergency!