Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it wasn’t wrong of me to use a parent & child parking space?

292 replies

AngeloMysterioso · 02/09/2023 01:09

At a supermarket today- I didn’t have my DC with me, however I am 6 1/2 months pregnant with DC3 and suffering with what I have come to refer to as “arse daggers” - very painful shooting pains in my glutes that leave me hobbling in a most inelegant manner by the end of the day.
The parking spaces in the car park are very narrow, to the point where I struggle to fit myself and my bump out of the door and it was all getting a bit ridiculous, so today I decided to park in one of the P&C spaces (of which there are many, and I didn’t take the last empty one) so that I wouldn’t have to squeeze out of the door and would have less distance to painfully shuffle into the shop.
Afterwards I was putting my shopping in my car when I was accosted by some absolute cowbag who berated me for taking a P&C space even though I didn’t have a child with me. I pointed out the obvious, bump, mobility problems, plenty of spaces to go round, and she said I still had no right to park there and potentially deprive someone with a child of a space. At this point I decided not to bother engaging and just got in my car and left.

Was I BU?

OP posts:
Sometimeswinning · 02/09/2023 01:13

I don't know. I think it may have come up on here before. I could be wrong but I'm going to hazard a guess most people will tell you not to worry about it.

Then people with bluebadges will get involved.

You'll also be told to park at the back of the carpark. (Which is a good shout imo as no one parks there!)

electriclight · 02/09/2023 01:14

Well they're not 'pregnancy' parking spaces are they?

Good reason why spaces are provided for parents of young children and you'll appreciate this when your baby arrives.

I think you could probably manage a normal space, like other people experiencing temporary discomfort are able to.

I wouldn't have challenged you on it but would have thought it.

Original poster
AngeloMysterioso · 02/09/2023 01:21

Sometimeswinning · 02/09/2023 01:13

I don't know. I think it may have come up on here before. I could be wrong but I'm going to hazard a guess most people will tell you not to worry about it.

Then people with bluebadges will get involved.

You'll also be told to park at the back of the carpark. (Which is a good shout imo as no one parks there!)

If I’d parked at the back of the car park I’d have had considerably further to walk and I was already in a lot of pain.

OP posts:
electriclight · 02/09/2023 01:24

I guess it's ok then as long as anyone else feeling uncomfortable, ill or in pain can also use them whenever they need to? Obviously this might render them useless and unavailable as P&C spaces.

Original poster
AngeloMysterioso · 02/09/2023 01:24

electriclight · 02/09/2023 01:14

Well they're not 'pregnancy' parking spaces are they?

Good reason why spaces are provided for parents of young children and you'll appreciate this when your baby arrives.

I think you could probably manage a normal space, like other people experiencing temporary discomfort are able to.

I wouldn't have challenged you on it but would have thought it.

I already have two young children so I know all about the logistics involved- and I’m not “experiencing temporary discomfort” I am experiencing constant pain which affects my ability to walk, and I’m also more than twice my usual circumference.
And technically I did have a child with me, just not one that’s ready to take up its own seat in the car yet!

OP posts:
Original poster
AngeloMysterioso · 02/09/2023 01:25

electriclight · 02/09/2023 01:24

I guess it's ok then as long as anyone else feeling uncomfortable, ill or in pain can also use them whenever they need to? Obviously this might render them useless and unavailable as P&C spaces.

You weren’t hanging around a Sainsbury’s car park in Kent at around 5pm yesterday were you?

OP posts:
electriclight · 02/09/2023 01:27

"and I’m also more than twice my usual circumference."

Again, ok as long as also ok for people with a bmi of 30+ or a waist circumference over a certain width I guess.

electriclight · 02/09/2023 01:28

"And technically I did have a child with me, just not one that’s ready to take up its own seat in the car yet!"

Fine for me to use one when shopping with my adult kids then now we are expanding the concept of parent in terms of p&c eligibility.

Lavender14 · 02/09/2023 01:29

I had severe pgp when I was pregnant with ds and struggled with walking and carrying etc so i understand how hard that can be. It never occurred to me to use the parent and child spaces because my understanding is that's to allow parents navigating car seats/prams/ changing nappies/ small children near moving vehicles etc so I wouldn't have taken a space from them. I just circled a lot longer until I got a nearby standard space. So I do think yabu but I wouldn't have accosted you for it.

WineIsMyMainVice · 02/09/2023 01:31

YANBU. They are parent and child places - you are a parent to the child inside your womb who (unbeknownst to them) is causing you pain atm. No one in their right mind would begrudge you a parking space nearest to the shop!!! Has the world gone mad??!!!

Assssssssssss · 02/09/2023 01:31

Most of us understand you were uncomfortable but the spaces are there to keep children safe as there is less chance of them getting hurt when parking nearer the shops. Yes you were not right in my opinion.

Assssssssssss · 02/09/2023 01:32

I meant no in my opinion you were not right but I do feel for you.

electriclight · 02/09/2023 01:33

"You weren’t hanging around a Sainsbury’s car park in Kent at around 5pm yesterday were you?"

Nope. And no young children so no skin in the game and awhile since I've needed to use one.

I suppose I'm playing devils advocate. I wouldn't have challenged you. I think most replies will be saying it's fine for you to use one.

But if waist size and temporary discomfort (because pregnancy related pain is temporary in a way that disability and eligibility for a blue badge say is not) are new criteria for p&c then you might find fewer available spaces.

Original poster
AngeloMysterioso · 02/09/2023 01:33

WineIsMyMainVice · 02/09/2023 01:31

YANBU. They are parent and child places - you are a parent to the child inside your womb who (unbeknownst to them) is causing you pain atm. No one in their right mind would begrudge you a parking space nearest to the shop!!! Has the world gone mad??!!!

Well apparently @electriclight and @Lavender14 would both far prefer for me to shove my bump out of a tiny gap and/or hobble twice as far to the shop so that there could be 21 empty P&C spaces instead of 20.

OP posts:
ILoveMyCaravan · 02/09/2023 01:34

You did the right thing @AngeloMysterioso and I say this as a blue badge holder.

When I was pregnant with my first (and not disabled) I did have PGP and I remember going into Tesco and asking if it was OK for me to use the parent spaces to park. They agreed.

I see no difference in my ability to get in/out of a car and walk now and when I was pregnant. If you're in severe pain whilst pregnant you need all the help you can get.

electriclight · 02/09/2023 01:36

" so that there could be 21 empty P&C spaces instead of 20."

Well if there were that many empty spaces that does put a different spin on it but you didn't say that in your op just that you didn't take the last space.

UniCred1 · 02/09/2023 01:37

You're not unreasonable op. My youngest is 5 and I still use those parking bays for parents. There's no specific age set for those. In my opinion, as long as you have to open the door widely to strap your child in their car seat, then use one if available. I've seen a cow once shouting at a woman who parked there with older taller looking children, everyone was telling the mum to ignore her. Too many busybodies policing everyone else but themselves. You don't have to engage or explain to anyone. Tell her to speak to her solicitor or seek a therapist.

MrsMous · 02/09/2023 01:41

You had a baby on board - it is just not born yet?! The other person was being ridiculous. I’ve seen lots of people without kids park in those spaces, they approached you because you were an easy target . I bet if you were a 6ft massive bloke they’d have shut their mouths

Ampharos · 02/09/2023 01:50

I wouldn’t have cared about this at all to be honest. You’re pregnant and in pain, why not use them?

Totally different matter if it was a disabled space but even as a mum with two kids with additional needs (so the P&C spaces are really appreciated by me when they’re free), I wouldn’t have cared about this at all.

Sounds like she just wanted to throw her weight around to be honest.

Momtotwokids · 02/09/2023 01:55

In the US it is Pregnant and mother's of young children. Maybe some people are blind and just have to be a smart mouth.

Iam4eels · 02/09/2023 02:11

P&C spaces are not protected in the same way blue badge parking is, they're provided as a courtesy so if you feel you need a larger bay then park in one of them.

Unless specifically employed to do so by the car park owner, no one should be challenging other people on where they've parked. The woman who had a go at you is a dick.

Ladyj84 · 02/09/2023 02:13

So are you saying a plump person can use those spaces also then ?? Sorry not thru a single pregnancy did I ever decide to take a car parking space not meant for me if I didn't have a child with me and trust me you get big with twins pain etc but still I didnt

Muu · 02/09/2023 02:15

Gosh I wouldn’t begrudge you this. She should have kept her nose out.

Utterlypeanuterly · 02/09/2023 02:24

electriclight · 02/09/2023 01:33

"You weren’t hanging around a Sainsbury’s car park in Kent at around 5pm yesterday were you?"

Nope. And no young children so no skin in the game and awhile since I've needed to use one.

I suppose I'm playing devils advocate. I wouldn't have challenged you. I think most replies will be saying it's fine for you to use one.

But if waist size and temporary discomfort (because pregnancy related pain is temporary in a way that disability and eligibility for a blue badge say is not) are new criteria for p&c then you might find fewer available spaces.

She wasn't in a disabled spot though so the permanence of her current pain/mobility is irrelevant.

LordSalem · 02/09/2023 02:25

Oh you're getting a ton of batshit responses here. You weren't wrong, you are a parent and child, it just so happens that the child is still in you. Are people really that much of an arsehole to put you down for struggling navigating your bump around a parking space?! It's not like you're 5 weeks pregnant and taking the piss.
To the rest of the pedants, your pissy little rants say a lot more about you than they do about the OP. Give it a couple of months and OP will be using the space within your guidelines. Does she get a gold star then?
Around here, mums park in those spaces and get out along with their kid wearing the local secondary school uniform. Do you feel big and clever berating a pregnant woman in this case? You don’t reckon there might be bigger problems?