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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it wasn’t wrong of me to use a parent & child parking space?

292 replies

AngeloMysterioso · 02/09/2023 01:09

At a supermarket today- I didn’t have my DC with me, however I am 6 1/2 months pregnant with DC3 and suffering with what I have come to refer to as “arse daggers” - very painful shooting pains in my glutes that leave me hobbling in a most inelegant manner by the end of the day.
The parking spaces in the car park are very narrow, to the point where I struggle to fit myself and my bump out of the door and it was all getting a bit ridiculous, so today I decided to park in one of the P&C spaces (of which there are many, and I didn’t take the last empty one) so that I wouldn’t have to squeeze out of the door and would have less distance to painfully shuffle into the shop.
Afterwards I was putting my shopping in my car when I was accosted by some absolute cowbag who berated me for taking a P&C space even though I didn’t have a child with me. I pointed out the obvious, bump, mobility problems, plenty of spaces to go round, and she said I still had no right to park there and potentially deprive someone with a child of a space. At this point I decided not to bother engaging and just got in my car and left.

Was I BU?

OP posts:
Whitepaleness · 02/09/2023 07:43

You didn’t take the last space so what difference does it make. I would have no issue with you using it. Some people are very black and white…guessing they didn’t do well at critical thinking in school.

ChildrenOfTheQuorn · 02/09/2023 07:43

I have a 17 month old and have only used them a couple of times because I usually can't find any free spaces! Personally I would say getting a child in and out of a car seat requires more room than a pregnant lady. And the risk of a small child navigating a car park is greater than a pregnant lady 🤷🏼‍♀️

MillicentTrilbyHiggins · 02/09/2023 07:45

I'm sure when my DC were small/I was pregnant the spaces in Tesco were signed as being for pregnant women and parents with children under 5. You were technically meant to be a member of the Tesco P&C club, which gave you a badge to display. I don't think it was enforceable though.

Yanbu imo.

phoenixrosehere · 02/09/2023 07:46

MariaVT65 · 02/09/2023 07:18

YANBU OP

I understand how huge you can be at 6 months, especially after your first child. I’m the same!

I’ve heard quite a few stories of pregnant women parking in standard spaces, then being unable to get back into the car because another person has since parked to close.

I also saw a bay for pregnant women in a Leeds car park this year, so it’s certainly recognised we may need more space/closer parking.

That woman was a twat for having a go at you. I’ve also seen quite a few elderly people park in those spaces too.

I’ve also seen quite a few elderly people park in those spaces too.

Same and people who are older but aren’t elderly and they do so knowing many establishments can’t do anything about it.

FabFitFifties · 02/09/2023 07:46

YABU bringing your size into the argument - what about the many obese people who also may have pain and mobility issues but not be classed as disabled? That said, I wish people would wind their neck in, stop policing other people, and have some compassion. I was also accosted for parking in PC space without my baby - I was actually meeting my relative, who was in the shopping centre, waiting to hand over my baby and pram.

MILLYmo0se · 02/09/2023 07:47

Afaik its up to the individual supermarkets whether the use of P&C spaces extends to pregnant women and Im fairly sure Sainsburys is one that does. Ask at customer service next time and then you ll know for sure where you stand - and please update the thread and we ll all know for next time

BeMoreBarbie · 02/09/2023 07:49

Urgh honestly. This thread is full of charmers.

They aren't policed. Anyone can use them. You're never going to get in trouble for using them. Should you have used it? Probably not. Should you feel guilty for using it in your situation? No, you've got bigger fish to fry. Should she have come over all mad? No, sounds like she has more going on too. Happy people aren't cunts for no reason.

I used one the other day because my mums disabled badge has expired and for some reason she hasn't applied for a new one yet or it hasn't come. She's ND also. I did feel bad (I had an 11 yr old with me) but if someone came over I'd tell them to fuck right off because sometimes it makes sense to use these spaces. I've also been that person that tells the single man in his sports car that he must have left his kid.

Supergirl1958 · 02/09/2023 07:49

I’ve seen MULTIPLE people park in a P&C space WITHOUT kids, or even a blue badge! Once at Christmas, a woman in her gym clothes parked in one and didn’t have her kids with her. The car park being Xmas and opposite a shopping centre (so people will use the supermarket car park as overflow) was full and that WAS the last space! I’d only just had my son and had to park in a normal space…my car is 3 door and I was still recovering from a hefty labour!

OP you had every right to park there and I’m sorry you were accosted by a CF whose business it was none of

Sunshinebuttercupsrainbows · 02/09/2023 07:50

Many P&C spaces near me have a sign that says they include expectant mothers. I don’t think YABU at all.

user1473878824 · 02/09/2023 07:50

Mumsnet is SO weird about P&C spaces. You’d think using one equates to slapping food out of a starving baby’s mouth.

Weddingblues23 · 02/09/2023 07:50

Iam4eels · 02/09/2023 02:11

P&C spaces are not protected in the same way blue badge parking is, they're provided as a courtesy so if you feel you need a larger bay then park in one of them.

Unless specifically employed to do so by the car park owner, no one should be challenging other people on where they've parked. The woman who had a go at you is a dick.

Disagree with the last bit. I regularly challenge dickheads people who park in the p and c spots. Otherwise how would they know that what they are doing is really shitty behaviour? I ask them pleasantly if they're aware that they're in a p and c spot and most get angry and then i explain why the extra space is needed. Hopefully it makes them less likely to do it again.

JaiynDough · 02/09/2023 07:50

AngeloMysterioso · 02/09/2023 01:24

I already have two young children so I know all about the logistics involved- and I’m not “experiencing temporary discomfort” I am experiencing constant pain which affects my ability to walk, and I’m also more than twice my usual circumference.
And technically I did have a child with me, just not one that’s ready to take up its own seat in the car yet!

Show quote history

Maybe you could get your shopping delivered?

ilovesooty · 02/09/2023 07:50

phoenixrosehere · 02/09/2023 07:46

I’ve also seen quite a few elderly people park in those spaces too.

Same and people who are older but aren’t elderly and they do so knowing many establishments can’t do anything about it.

Show quote history

If they have a mobility or accessibility need there's no reason why they shouldn't, regardless of age, as they're a courtesy not a protected space.

Worrysaboutalot · 02/09/2023 07:51

I seem to remember Sainsburys had/has bump and under 5yo parking spaces, which always seemed the most sensible way to go.

Of course as a heavily pregnant woman you should use that space, saves further problems.

Many years ago when I was heavily pregnant, I couldn't get back into my car which was parked in a standard space, as both cars either side of me had parked too close. I waited for ages, someone stopped to help me and they had to climb in from the passenger seat and over the console to back up the car for me.

I parked in a parent and toddler space yesterday myself, as there was no yellow spaces free and I need the hatched spaces to get out with my wheelchair. I display my blue badge and if any parent wants to argue with my right to park there, would get short shift, as I can legally park there with my blue badge.

As PP said above parent and child spaces are a courtesy not a legal right.

Weddingblues23 · 02/09/2023 07:52

Just to add - op is not being unreasonable, 100%. She has a child and she needs the space.

Iwantmyoldnameback · 02/09/2023 07:53

It's ridiculous to compare pregnancy to obesity, squashing fat is not going to cause any damage and if someone is morbidly obese they will probably have other issues which give them a blue badge.

I think the blue badge is very abused given the number of people sitting in their cars while the person with them uses the shops. If you're really lucky you can walk through the cloud if smoke they are blowing out their windows.

By the way I'm a boomer and I don't use either type of spaces although perhaps my sense of entitlement means I could.

whenwhathow · 02/09/2023 07:55

some supermarkets actually have that on the signs they are for pregnant people too - I realised this once my baby was born and had been suffering from PGP for the last few months

BeMoreBarbie · 02/09/2023 07:56

Disagree with the last bit. I regularly challenge dickheads people who park in the p and c spots. Otherwise how would they know that what they are doing is really shitty behaviour? I ask them pleasantly if they're aware that they're in a p and c spot and most get angry and then i explain why the extra space is needed. Hopefully it makes them less likely to do it again.

Lol. @Weddingblues23 they know. They just don't care.

CherryCokeFanatic · 02/09/2023 07:57

YANBU. P&C are fair game, they aren’t enforceable

Buildingthefuture · 02/09/2023 07:59

What kind of asshole berates a pregnant woman for where she has parked? You are growing a person and you are in pain. Park where you want!!!

TakeMeToTheCloudsAbove · 02/09/2023 08:01

As a parent of a very young, lively, impulsive child - those spaces are so much safer.

You’re not the first woman on Earth to be pregnant. Just park at the back of the car park where there’s more space, the walk would do you good.

They should just be for those with babies, small children and SEND kids. I don’t understand when parents of older kids park in these spaces when their children are perfectly able to get out of the car and walk through the car park safely.

ZadocPDederick · 02/09/2023 08:01

The issue is, as usual, the fact that the P&C spaces are nearest the shop although there is no logical reason for that. But, since they are, you needed that space more than an actual parent, so YANBU>

Jorvik1978 · 02/09/2023 08:03

Not sure if this has already been mentioned, but on holiday in Germany/Denmark/Sweden this summer, the P&C spaces often depicted a pregnant woman alongside a picture of a pram and child, making it obvious who they were aimed it. I think you were not unreasonable at all.

MagnesiumRay · 02/09/2023 08:03

TakeMeToTheCloudsAbove · 02/09/2023 08:01

As a parent of a very young, lively, impulsive child - those spaces are so much safer.

You’re not the first woman on Earth to be pregnant. Just park at the back of the car park where there’s more space, the walk would do you good.

They should just be for those with babies, small children and SEND kids. I don’t understand when parents of older kids park in these spaces when their children are perfectly able to get out of the car and walk through the car park safely.

The walk would do you good, really??????

Weddingblues23 · 02/09/2023 08:04

BeMoreBarbie · 02/09/2023 07:56

Disagree with the last bit. I regularly challenge dickheads people who park in the p and c spots. Otherwise how would they know that what they are doing is really shitty behaviour? I ask them pleasantly if they're aware that they're in a p and c spot and most get angry and then i explain why the extra space is needed. Hopefully it makes them less likely to do it again.

Lol. @Weddingblues23 they know. They just don't care.

Well maybe, but actually I think a lot of people haven't really thought about it. Anyway, it's about challenging in a calm way - no point in getting angry at somebody in a car park.