To think it wasn’t wrong of me to use a parent & child parking space?

[AngeloMysterioso]

At a supermarket today- I didn’t have my DC with me, however I am 6 1/2 months pregnant with DC3 and suffering with what I have come to refer to as “arse daggers” - very painful shooting pains in my glutes that leave me hobbling in a most inelegant manner by the end of the day.
The parking spaces in the car park are very narrow, to the point where I struggle to fit myself and my bump out of the door and it was all getting a bit ridiculous, so today I decided to park in one of the P&C spaces (of which there are many, and I didn’t take the last empty one) so that I wouldn’t have to squeeze out of the door and would have less distance to painfully shuffle into the shop.
Afterwards I was putting my shopping in my car when I was accosted by some absolute cowbag who berated me for taking a P&C space even though I didn’t have a child with me. I pointed out the obvious, bump, mobility problems, plenty of spaces to go round, and she said I still had no right to park there and potentially deprive someone with a child of a space. At this point I decided not to bother engaging and just got in my car and left.

Was I BU?

Being a martyr doesn't achieve anything.

This is a non issue. I was in one feeding my baby at the back whilst DH was in the shops. I saw three different cars pull up and use the space next to me whilst feeding, all solo men dickheads. So needing the space for pregnancy is a helluva better reason than being a selfish twat

Isn't it absolutely fucking mental that people on a parenting site seem to be actively discouraging pregnant women from doing anything they might make a trip to the supermarket a little bit easier.

Who gives a shit what was the norm in the 70s?!We are not living in the 70s and people have created things and come up in our ideas to make day to day life more pleasant.

If i go to a supermarket with the kids and there is a p&c space available then I will use it. I can take the car seat and baby out of a fully open door and not have to drag it out at an angle while juggling the baby. I can let the older ones get out independently without worrying one of them will twat the next car door. If there isn't a space available I will manage just fine, it isn't an expectation, but it's nice to have.

Or I could drive round the carpark then shake my head at the horror that is convenience. Go home and make the kids walk 10 miles there and back while lugging heavy shopping bags.

YANBU I did the same on occasion when I was pregnant. With my eldest I had parked at the furthest point of the car park to ensure I had plenty of room to get my massive self back in the car only to come back to find some tosser had parked practically touching the drivers side door. I badly hurt my back trying to get in from the passenger side 😪

With my youngest, I was on crutches from 14wks with severe pgp. I needed the space to get the crutches out. I did always try to find a space on the end of an aisle, but not always possible.

Of course it was ok for you to use that space. Some compassion and kindness was missing from the woman who decided to berate you, and I think it says way more about them that they did that, than your choice to park there. I wonder if she feels pleased with herself for having a go at a total stranger-and a pregnant woman, I mean FFS!! They had absolutely no idea of your situation -and it's none of their business either why you parked there while being a 'walking mother with child'....You are literally growing a human -what better time to park in a parent and child place! As a disabled driver, I would also understand if you used a disabled space when there were plenty more space available, if that helped you out. I just think that generally, there is more of this stressed out, angry stranger stuff since the pandemic, and I'm sorry you had that happen.

I’d say you needed that space more than my small child who can strap themselves in 6 times out of 10 but has a tendency to throw doors open.

Cannot get worked up about this. I hope your pain eases and your new baby is a bundle of delight when they arrive.

P&C spaces aren’t a necessity so pregnant and struggling or a child needing a bit of extra space for safety/learning independence is all good.

I’m always shocked by the extent to which P&C spaces draw out the entitlement of some parents. These spaces are so frequently fully-occupied around me that I never see it more than a treat to find one available, rather than something that can reasonably be relied on. It blows my mind that some parents have the energy and headspace to a) monitor the ‘need’ of the other people using them, b) deem a pregnant woman as ‘unworthy’, and c) be so aggrieved that they have to challenge them about it.

I think it's entirely reasonable for heavily pregnant women to park in these spaces, which are a courtesy / discretionary in any case.

Pregnant women are not in a position to apply for a blue badge though they may be significantly disabled. A heavily pregnant woman with mobility issues or PGP is quite likely to need the space more than some/many parents with children. I would happily give up a parent and child space to a woman in your circumstances though I have two young children. Wouldn't dream of challenging you.

I would ignore the pedants and martyrs on this thread! The spirit of the rule is more important than the letter of it.

This seems like one of those threads where OP asks AIBU? and anyone who says she is being unreasonable is wrong...

Your baby was on (inside!) your person and still taking up space in the material world. If you're trying to get a newborn baby out of a carseat into a pram then that same baby is moving from A to B. I don't think this is a big deal. When I was pregnant with my third, I could barely walk and every bit of rest or break in the journey seemed like complete mercy. Especially seeing as there were lots of empty spaces, I think I would have done the same.

I'm fat. At no time has my spare tire kicked me in the diaphragm, tap danced on my bladder, or required me to eat, breathe and excrete for it just to keep it alive.

Being fat is not a prerequisite for creating the next generation of citizens. Being pregnant is.

In short, being fat and being pregnant are not comparable. It's not reasonable to pretend that they are to manufacture a case against the OP's use of a stork space.

No. Those spots are not for you. It's shit and I really wished they were at the end of my pregnancy but they're just not. They're for people with prams and car seats and it was wrong of you to take it. I'm not saying you don't need the help, I'm saying it's not currently provided and you can't take other peoples spaces.

Generally, a 6.5 months pregnant woman isn't that huge and shouldn't need to use those parks but, if you had a medical reason that you are having a difficult pregnancy that justifies it, then you just have to use your judgement about it.

I'd assumed thats exactly what they're for.

In any case unlike a blue badge, they're not a protected thing, they're provided by supermarkets as a courtesy because they know its more likely to cause pregnant woman and those with small children to shop with them and spend money with them.

Not a fucking chance would a supermarket have a pop at you for using it.

some tosser had parked practically touching the drivers side door. I badly hurt my back trying to get in from the passenger side

And this would be why the NCT trainer someone mentioned upthread recommends that women in later pregnancy uses the stork spaces. Pregnant women are creating the next generation of citizens using their bodies. This is risky enough without the self-appointed parking police barring them from the safest spaces to park in.

Ignore her, OP.

My local supermarket P&C spaces are always full before about 6pm. Usually with people with no kids, or a family where one adult gets out and the other parent and kids wait in the car. It drives me mad as I'm then left having to walk across the car park with my autistic child who has no awareness of danger, is unable to follow instructions and is a runner (and far too big to carry now!).Thankfully hes just been approved for a blue badge which should be here any day.

Just yesterday after I'd wrestled him across the car park, 3 solo males strolled out of the supermarket one after the other and got into their cars parked in the P&C bays. I couldn't help but say something and hope it makes them think next time.

I'd not have any issue with a heavily pregnant woman using a P&C space.

I'm surprised you couldn't use a "Pregnant Parking" space.I thought they were commonplace, along with the Handicapped spaces. Heck, they should have "Elderly" spaces too. LOL!

To me they are there for parents with young children they are not there for me to come up with my own reasons to justify using them when I am not entitled so we have not used them since our child was young

If there was no benefit to using them for parents with children people wouldn't use them

People can justify it however they want, I wont

For me, the spaces are more about the extra room for the doors to open and get the chikd out rather than the distance to the shop.

So, YABU

This in spades!!

Ignore the fucker person telling you off. As well as the twattish replies on here.

When I was heavily pregnant getting out of the car - the door accidently went too wide open as I was struggling to get out and it clipped the car next to me - the bloke sitting there looked daggers at me (fortunately no damage to his car) but that day I could have definitely done with a wider space.

Congrats on baby no 3 !

Currently pregnant and I wouldn’t use a P&C space as they aren’t for pregnant women. I also find walking helps loosen my hips and leg muscles.

If everyone who was in your situation used the spaces then there’s be none for parents with children.

That woman sounds unhinged. You did nothing wrong. I hope your discomfort eases.

OP you will get a different response from overnight posts to day posts on mn!

I've been there with pgp you need the extra space to even get out of the bloody car! I would never dream of telling a pregnant lady she couldn't use them.

The only people who annoy me at parking in parent and child places are usually middle aged men with no children!

The best thing to do is just ask in the stores you most frequently use - ultimately, it's they who will have the right answer for their store/carpark, not stroppy mumsnetters.

"Good reason why spaces are provided for parents of young children and you'll appreciate this when your baby arrives."

They are a marketing ploy.