Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shouted at on the bus

128 replies

Pinklady1982830 · 01/09/2023 12:48

So bit upset this morning just looking to see what others think of this.
So this morning I had to go shopping with my 2 dc boy age 2 and girl age 6. Boy was in the pushchair.
After we finished shopping I decided we would get the bus home as my shopping was heavy so just easier to get bus home. Anyway we got on the bus and there was already a big buggy on the other side which was fine so I parked my buggy on the opposite side and my dd sat on the seat next to the buggy While I sat down in the disabled elderly seat also next to the buggy. Well a few stops on a lady also gets on with this very big pushchair there is no way she was going to fit in the opposite bay so she squeezed in right in the alise next to me. Not even giving me a chance to move my pushchair so she could try squeeze in next to me. Anyway the driver takes off while she is stood in the aslie with her buggy which surprises me as I always thought you were not allowed to do that, when this old lady shouts you can't put the bugy there! It's in the way! Obviously she gets ignored so shuts up
Then while while she is getting up to leave she turned to me and said
"Your disgusting you should of moved your pushchair so she could get into the spot and moved your daughter off that bloody seat so that woman could sit down!"
Bear in mind I had tried to move my buggy but literally could not move it due to the space. I was so shocked

She then said I should be ashamed of myself! So I lost it by then and replied "how about you mind your own business!" But she was still ranting at me as she got off the bus!
Not going to lie I did actually feel.like bursting into tears as I have lot going on at the moment and that just set me right over the edge. So I'm just Asking was I in the wrong here? Thanks if you made it this far

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinklady1982830 · 03/09/2023 10:23

Thanks to everyone for the kind replies
I do think yes it was one of those situations where you had to be there. Yes as I said I should of moved my daughter I relise that now. Also I could not fold the pushchair due to having very heavy shopping and my 2 year old would more than likely not sit on my lap for more than 5 seconds without wanting to get off and having a meltdown so was easier to keep him in the buggy.

OP posts:
AdoraBell · 03/09/2023 10:25

YANBU OP

Aneka91 · 03/09/2023 10:26

I hope they refund the money paid for a ticket then!!

Iwasafool · 03/09/2023 10:26

tuvamoodyson · 01/09/2023 14:52

That’s what I thought, I’d have got sorted when I saw her getting on/paying her fare. Maybe you had to be there🤷‍♀️

Show quote history

To be honest if it was a space that could take two buggies if the first one is parked carefully it should have been like that in the first place then there is no rush no problem. I don't know why anyone would assume the second space wouldn't be needed.

I felt the same earlier this week on a crowded train and people taking up seats with their bags and refusing to move them and expecting other people to stand. One woman was "Why should I have to have my bag on my lap, it isn't comfortable" as a man in his 70s politely asked her to move the bag so he could sit down.

LondonLass91 · 03/09/2023 10:28

Worst thing is that you'll probably remember this miserable sod for years. I was in a busy tube once and my little boy was crying as he was so tired, and I was cuddling him and shushing him (we'd just had a really long day), and this young woman looked at me as she got off and said really nastily 'I know what I'd do if that was my child..'. I just wanted to cry too. Now, nearly 10 years later and nearly 50 years old, I can't understand why I didn't say 'oh just fuck off'. I would now. That's what being older does...

Willmafrockfit · 03/09/2023 10:28

the bus driver didnt ask you to fold buggy
she was a bus wanker
the nutter on the bus
there is almost always one!

Viviennemary · 03/09/2023 10:28

Driver was in the wrong for taking off. You were in the wrong for sitting in the disabled seat. Woman in the wrong for shouting and not giving you a chance to move.

CaptainMyCaptain · 03/09/2023 10:29

icallitasplodge · 03/09/2023 10:21

Buses are full of the worst types of people.

I find most people pleasant or, at least, inoffensive. I have never witnessed a shouting match on a bus.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 03/09/2023 10:29

Rockandchips · 03/09/2023 07:20

Years ago pushchairs were built like tanks but you still had to fold it up to put it in the space under the stairs on the old route master buses or you went allowed on the bus. Noone folds up ax pushchair these days.

Yes but shouldn’t there be more foldable buggies/pushchairs if there are more people around generally?

I rarely get buses now (commuting into central London sadly I can’t drive!) so I can’t get worked up over this.

I do think you could’ve moved the buggy slightly though or put youngest on lap but yes woman was out of order.

My bus tale from last week, mother gets on bus (routemaster) with 4/5 kids. The older and younger kids sat at the back, a 9/10 year old and similar aged sister looking after a 4/5 year old. The older kids didn’t stop getting up and off the seats, jumping on them, then running up and down the stairs at the back. I didn’t say anything but if the bus had braked suddenly they’d have fallen. When I was a child and on a bus it was sit down, stay sitting down and that’s it! This mum (can’t say I blame her with so many children) didn’t take any notice at all. The bus wasn’t hugely crowded and actually the children were polite and funny but I did think at one stage why can’t you just sit down?!

GinLover198 · 03/09/2023 10:32

Disgusting behaviour shown towards you. What’s happened to be kind these days? That said, I’d to collapse my buggy when someone with a double buggy got on. I also had a double buggy but it wasn’t as wide as the other so driver said I’d to collapse mine to make room for the other - I wasn’t really asked, it was a request or I could get off & wait for the next bus which seemed a bit crap since I was already on the bus but I don’t know what the rules etc are in these situations so I complied. I was in a city on holiday & didn’t want to cause an awkward situation. The other Mum was very apologetic. Thankfully bus driver remained stationary while I offloaded kids to perfect strangers, albeit it lovely, helpful perfect strangers while I collapsed my buggy down.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 03/09/2023 10:35

CaptainMyCaptain · 03/09/2023 10:29

I find most people pleasant or, at least, inoffensive. I have never witnessed a shouting match on a bus.

Show quote history

When I use buses to commute or don’t take the car most people are polite.

I do get the odd lazy person as last week just swings their legs to let you past, I always get up and off the seat. And once there was a really rude child of 10-12 on a crowded bus who took up an entire seat with her bag, wouldn’t move it and was happy to irritate me (squashed and a normal size 12) on an express bus so a long journey. So it’s the lack of politeness and manners that can grate. The young teenage boys on the same express bus are actually the sweetest around, if you just treat them with politeness and kindness they’re actually nice boys, and probably used to people yelling at them so I try to set a good example then. Even “have a nice day” to them means you treat them as an equal.

Iwasafool · 03/09/2023 10:36

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 03/09/2023 10:29

Yes but shouldn’t there be more foldable buggies/pushchairs if there are more people around generally?

I rarely get buses now (commuting into central London sadly I can’t drive!) so I can’t get worked up over this.

I do think you could’ve moved the buggy slightly though or put youngest on lap but yes woman was out of order.

My bus tale from last week, mother gets on bus (routemaster) with 4/5 kids. The older and younger kids sat at the back, a 9/10 year old and similar aged sister looking after a 4/5 year old. The older kids didn’t stop getting up and off the seats, jumping on them, then running up and down the stairs at the back. I didn’t say anything but if the bus had braked suddenly they’d have fallen. When I was a child and on a bus it was sit down, stay sitting down and that’s it! This mum (can’t say I blame her with so many children) didn’t take any notice at all. The bus wasn’t hugely crowded and actually the children were polite and funny but I did think at one stage why can’t you just sit down?!

Show quote history

I'd be so upset seeing that. I was on a bus, upstairs getting ready to get off. As I was right at the top of the stairs the bus braked to avoid a car that went through a red light. I was thrown down the stairs, I was unconscious briefly but as I came round I saw all these shocked people looking at me and decided I wanted to be unconscious again.

A week in hospital with concussion and damage to my back so I think sitting down safely should be the norm. I wasn't even doing anything irresponsible. I don't know, maybe a child would have bounced better than I did.

Crazy when you think those children would have to have seat belts in a car but can be allowed to put themselves in danger on a bus.

Rachykins · 03/09/2023 10:40

It sounds like she just got all defensive and flustered because she was the one that got shouted at initially. Unfortunately it seems you were the outlet for her embarrassment and frustration. You did absolutely nothing wrong. That being said, I remember at times having to fold down my stroller in order to get on a bus if it was busy but understandably you got on first, so it’s her problem not yours and you had loads of shopping so probably couldn’t even fold it down if you wanted to! Don’t worry OP. Some people are just nasty!

Rachykins · 03/09/2023 10:43

Viviennemary · 03/09/2023 10:28

Driver was in the wrong for taking off. You were in the wrong for sitting in the disabled seat. Woman in the wrong for shouting and not giving you a chance to move.

Only in the wrong if a disabled person got on and she didn’t move. No doubt if poor OP moved, the women that got on after would have plonked her arse there anyway!

Waffle78 · 03/09/2023 10:50

Most buses only have one wheelchair and one buggy space. If there's two buggies on where I live the driver refuses to let them on. They can't travel safely in the isle.

Waffle78 · 03/09/2023 10:55

You should have asked her if she had paid for a ticket for her bag. 😳

Neverjudgeabookbyitscover · 03/09/2023 11:00

I had to take my disabled son out of wheelchair, sit him on my knee, fold the wheelchair up to make way for a woman with a big buggy, all on the driver's instructions. Buses are really unpleasant, particularly with my mental health being in the gutter.

ihadamarveloustime · 03/09/2023 11:12

You should have put your daughter in your lap

BananaSlug · 03/09/2023 12:25

Rocknrollstar · 03/09/2023 09:49

InLondon only two pushchairs are allowed at any time and if a wheelchair user wants to get on I believe the mother’s with pushchairs have to get off!

What part of London do you live in? I see drivers let more than two on all the time 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anonymouslyposting · 03/09/2023 12:36

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 03/09/2023 10:13

Wow that’s disgusting! What did you day?

Show quote history

I went into mum mode and said “I can see you’re angry but please stop” repeatedly! Gave up when he mentioned the children though - I decided it wasn’t worth the risk he actually meant it and thankfully he got off at the next stop.

Anonymouslyposting · 03/09/2023 12:38

saveforthat · 03/09/2023 07:52

Bloody hell, now that is something to be upset about. So sorry this happened to you. Did you complain to the driver?

Show quote history

Thank you - no, I didn’t bother with the driver, thankfully the guy got off quite soon afterwards. I think he was probably on something or unwell so probably not much the driver could do.

BananaSlug · 03/09/2023 12:51

Its not up to the driver to sort it anyway, when I got badly abused on a bus by a random man the driver didn’t do anything I complained to tfl who told me it was nothing to do with the driver and if I felt threatened I should have called the police but again reiterated that the driver shouldn’t be getting involved.

Comtesse · 03/09/2023 13:40

I feel like there is always someone on a bus who is ready to kick off. You telling her to mind her own business was entirely appropriate. PP called them a “bus wanker” and that sounds about right!

Cocolebombom · 04/09/2023 12:54

CrackersCheeseAndWinePlease · 01/09/2023 13:05

I remember when dd was a baby and I was on a bus with her pushchair. There was nobody else on the bus besides us and an older man who was already on when I got on.
He kept looking at me and tutting and even muttered "disgusting" under his breath, I turned to him and said do you have a problem with a woman and a baby on a bus? Not my finest moment but I was sleep deprived, he never said anything after that

Why is standing up for yourself "not your finest moment" why is losing it back with annoying people who think they can talk at you any way they please something people think they need to apologise for. If it was me and that old lady was speaking like that I would have stood up lunged my face towards her and said "have a lovely day you stinking pig". Mums with babies are an easy target for grumpy arses because most of the time we feel we need to take it lying down. If we all did our bit to escalate it to an embarrassing level these grumps would realise they might break off more than they can chew and stop targeting us.

ilovesooty · 04/09/2023 14:09

Cocolebombom · 04/09/2023 12:54

Why is standing up for yourself "not your finest moment" why is losing it back with annoying people who think they can talk at you any way they please something people think they need to apologise for. If it was me and that old lady was speaking like that I would have stood up lunged my face towards her and said "have a lovely day you stinking pig". Mums with babies are an easy target for grumpy arses because most of the time we feel we need to take it lying down. If we all did our bit to escalate it to an embarrassing level these grumps would realise they might break off more than they can chew and stop targeting us.

Show quote history

So you really think that reacting like that to someone whose behaviour you don't like is in any way constructive?

Swipe left for the next trending thread