To be so angry with DH about this undermining?

[Namechange1971]

So I might need some perspective here. Son is 17, fairly capable, and has done some hiking with school, and some light camping - that’s it. No experience with mountain hikes at all. Recently he and a new friend decided they wanted to walk and camp up a mountain (one of the big 3 in the uk). Said it was ok because friend’s dad has done this sort of thing before (apparently he’s a legend and has done loads of completely ‘mad’ things?)😬

Dh once hiked in an organised trip on the same mountain when he was younger and pointed out that it can be really hazardous, that he once has to step in to stop a fellow hiker sliding down a scree slope to a huge drop. So we spoke about it, agreed it sounded dodgy and that although we didn’t want to stop ds going (he’s nearly an adult after all) if he did go, DH would go as well as the other dad and they could have some fun bonding time.

No more was said and I thought it may have been forgotten about, but son came home with DH yesterday to say that actually he and friend and friends dad want to go this weekend - 2 days away - and suddenly DH is all carefully neutral and ‘well he wants to gooo…’ DH won’t be going with them, as he has a leisure activity of his own booked and won’t be changing that for anything. So I am left looking like the ogre for thinking this might not be the best idea in the world with little organisation and experience. Had a row with DH and feel that I might have lost perspective. Aibu to feel undermined and angry?

I really meant on the most popular routes. I know Mountain Rescue is a voluntary service. I also think people take it for granted. So a membership, like the NT, does provide an income. However I get people won’t pay.

In the old days before cell phones, we used to check in at the ranger stations and file our names, the trail we were taking, our expected return and where our car was parked & licence reg#. So they could look for us if we didn’t return on time. Back then there would also usually be these tin boxes with notebooks at the various summits and you’d write your name, the date and time and where you were headed next as many trails would take in several mountain summits.

Ive taken in over a dozen 14k+ mountains (by feet) in the US and round the world for perspective, these are mountains over 4,267 metres tall, and the tallest mountain in the U.K. is Ben Nevis at 1,345 metres tall. So titchy was just being a bit of a mountain snob really, because to mountaineers, U.K. mountains are the size of foothills elsewhere in the world.

Ref comment " no mountains are dangerous in the UK"

That is a ridiculous comment & is blatantly untrue !

However, what is dangerous;

People unprepared for 6 different types of weather that can occur in one day

People not carrying enough food & water

People not carrying appropriate clothes, walking boots, first aid, route planning, emergency planning

Going as a group is far better, than going alone

But the most popular routes are still accessible from multiple different points - it's not like everyone parks in one place, goes up path A and comes back along path B.

I'm thinking of our local fell - off the top of my head I can think of at least seven different parking places for it - none of which are official NT car parks, or even paid car parks. Even the main route up is accessible from several different areas depending on where you park.

Mountain Rescue themselves don't want to become a paid for service either.

Ok. I hear what you are saying. I tend to think you get more responsibility if you are a member of something and pay. I guess that’s not what hikers do but expect a service when they need it.

Most hikers are not blithering idiots and try their best to avoid needing a "service". The general ethos is self-sufficiency and being able to weigh up risk. Mountain rescues are made of of volunteers who are passionate about mountaineering.

The vast majority of people who need Mountain Rescue aren't idiots who just didn't take responsibility - they're experienced hikers who had genuine accidents.

People talk a lot about idiots who climb Ben Nevis in flip flops but as someone who lives in the Lakes - those people make up a tiny minority of those who use the fells.

My dad is super experienced. He's been hiking all his life - he's been wild camping and done loads of fell races and marathons. He recently slipped coming down a mountain, hit his head and gave himself concussion. That didn't happen because he didn't take responsibility or wasn't careful - he just put his foot wrong and lost his balance.

I really don't think people go out thinking they can do what they like and Mountain Rescue will just come pick up the pieces.

I think if you undertake something risky, as an expert or not, you should consider how you pay for help if it’s necessary over and a above normal services we all contribute to. I see some people think they will never need it, but you never know and I favour making a contribution regardless of how good you are. Or think you are and make a mistake. As plenty seem to do looking at deaths. However I hope none of you ever need a depleted service. Plus there’s never ever anything wrong with giving advice to novice hikers.

@TizerorFizz again Mountain Rescue consists of volunteers. Most people, if they're unfortunate enough to need their help, will make a donation.
No-one who isn't an idiot thinks they'll never need a rescue service. We all know we're one rockfall, avalanche or simple slip away from an epic.
I'm confused as to why you're weighing on on something you clearly don't know anything about?

You don't seem to understand how Mountain Rescue works, or even how they want to work

It's right here on their website:

"Mountain Rescue England and Wales is here to help them deliver the best possible care to their casualties. We can’t do that without your support. Thanks to you, we can provide and maintain the highest standards in casualty care, technical rope rescue and swiftwater rescue. And we can provide key items of kit to teams and help keep their vehicles on the road. And thanks to your legacies, we can plan for the future to ensure this valuable community service remains voluntary and free to the casualty."

The main "selling point" of places like the Lake District is that they're accessible to anyone regardless of income and background, and Mountain Rescue being voluntary (and free) is part of that.

The idea of turning the Lake District into some kind of monitored attraction where you have to pay an entrance fee and log your details with an "officer" would just ruin everything that it's about, really.

Really? 🤔

I would definitely talk to the other dad. I think I’d tell him my ds won’t be going until dh was free. I certainly wouldn’t trust a stranger to take my ds on an overnight camp up a mountain, not in a million years. There are risks we all face in our daily lives and unnecessary unprepared for risks, quite different. Your dh is an arse.

That's dangerous nonsense. All mountains can be dangerous. If they weren't then there would be no need for mountain rescue.

All mountains can be dangerous

As can ladders and drills and lawn mowers

And cars and crossing roads

And cooking oil

Just saying things can be dangerous isn't adding

Mountains should be treated with respect. Like any potential dangerous thing. Learning mountain craft with someone more experienced is a great idea

Charging people to walk on our own land in our own county and making them log routes is barmy - what if I decide the weather is too bad or someone isn't feeling great abs we change the route - would that be illegal ?

@LouHey there are dangers everywhere. You are statistically more likely to be hit by a car walking down a street than you are to get into trouble on the Llanberis route up snowdon during the summer season. As I've said I did this with my 7yo child. Of course there's a chance something might happen but its really no bigger than any other chance of anything else happening. There are no ridges or technically difficult sections on that route. I've been up snowdon via many routes and some of them are dangerous... but Llanberis is not during the summer season (altho can be dangerous during snow as I wrote previously) but there is very little chance of heavy snow in August or early September.
Obviously checking the weather forecast and not being an idiot and trying to continue in adverse weather conditions is very important... but some people on here are being completely hysterical. Im sorry but there is no issue with a healthy 17yo trying to climb any of these mountains via the main routes in summer season. As long as they have proper footwear, warm clothing and plenty and water and snacks. These routes are basically hikes. The only issue is visibility but in that case you just turn back.
Everyone on here 'oooh the horror of the mountains!!' Absolutely ridiculous.
Just behave sensibly. Research what to take with you, make sure your boots are broken in. Dont go alone and go in summer when good weather is forecast. Take a battery pack for your phone. Make sure you have adequate water supply.
Young children can do these routes.
OPs son will be absolutely fine

This is a really helpful info graphic about the varying difficulties of traditional routes up snowdon. None involve equipment but some are more dangerous than others. As you can see Llanberis is considered the easiest and safest route.. it also attracts crowds all day every day throughout the season, so you would never be hiking alone. This is the route I walked with my 7yo son but I have gone up via all the routes apart from crib goch which I got so far with but there is an absolutely terrifying section you cannot turn round on once you enter.. and I bottled it and turned back before then. Its not technically difficult you dont need ropes but its very exposed and you do need to use your hands, its a scramble.

Brilliant - thanks so much! And to everyone for their replies. He has gone on the trip after I had a chat with the friend’s dad - which was reassuring, and thanks to this forum I knew more about specifics to ask. Fingers crossed they all have a good time. Still a bit annoyed by Dh but I don’t think his presence would have been crucial in any case - possibly not even helpful!

I hope he has a great time, I'm glad you're feeling a bit more at ease.

He’s 17 and not going to a drugs den. The other dad is going too so I’d just want some details and be proud my dc wants to do such a fab activity.

Just caught up - glad he went and everyone is happy.

living In Scotland where numerous people
die every year out in the mountains, I respectfully disagree strongly with this statement. Yes they’re not the Himalayas but they still need to be treated with respect (which going with a sensible adult would be). Please still take UK mountains seriously.

The friend’s dad is there! Also he’s 17 let him go!

is this a joke? There are so many seriously dangerous mountains in the uk. Literally hundreds. Watch a few mountain rescue programmes!

That will be a fantastic experience for them, and the friend’s dad is going, who is experienced in this sort of thing. I did this as a 19 year old girl with my boyfriend and we were perfectly fine.

You tell that to my DH who’s MR. Too many people go up the hills without any idea of what being prepared means, the deaths already this year prove that. So no, you have no fucking clue about the need for safety if you believe the hills aren’t dangerous. People like you make me so angry.