To be so angry with DH about this undermining?

[Namechange1971]

So I might need some perspective here. Son is 17, fairly capable, and has done some hiking with school, and some light camping - that’s it. No experience with mountain hikes at all. Recently he and a new friend decided they wanted to walk and camp up a mountain (one of the big 3 in the uk). Said it was ok because friend’s dad has done this sort of thing before (apparently he’s a legend and has done loads of completely ‘mad’ things?)😬

Dh once hiked in an organised trip on the same mountain when he was younger and pointed out that it can be really hazardous, that he once has to step in to stop a fellow hiker sliding down a scree slope to a huge drop. So we spoke about it, agreed it sounded dodgy and that although we didn’t want to stop ds going (he’s nearly an adult after all) if he did go, DH would go as well as the other dad and they could have some fun bonding time.

No more was said and I thought it may have been forgotten about, but son came home with DH yesterday to say that actually he and friend and friends dad want to go this weekend - 2 days away - and suddenly DH is all carefully neutral and ‘well he wants to gooo…’ DH won’t be going with them, as he has a leisure activity of his own booked and won’t be changing that for anything. So I am left looking like the ogre for thinking this might not be the best idea in the world with little organisation and experience. Had a row with DH and feel that I might have lost perspective. Aibu to feel undermined and angry?

I would also check the forecast for the weekend. That could make a huge difference, although as my DH says all too frequently, things change very quickly in the mountains. There’s a hill (mountain) in the Alps I’ve been up several times. It’s about 3 hours walk from the car park. Not technically difficult although you need to be fit. The one time the mist came in it was terrifying. And we knew the walk well.

In case you're talking about Ben Nevis, it will be rainy in Fort William on Sunday and that does translate to much lower temperatures at the top so a warm fleece plus a windproof/water resistant jacket will be necessary. A decent pair of hiking boots, enough water and enough food, things like chocolate bars are good for a quick energy boost.
And make sure they're indeed going up the tourist path and the dad isn't dragging them up a more challenging route, if that's not something your son has experience with.

That's not correct I'm afraid. A bloke fell off Ben Nevis only a few days ago. It's risky.

Before poor OP has heart failure at that, it should be said that it was the hill next to Ben Nevis and a far more challenging hike, a scrambling route. But that does emphasise why it's a good idea to check the proposed route and make sure it is indeed one that is within the capability level of her son.

@Namechange1971 there are three of them so that's good and the weather is looking pretty good this weekend. Go for it.

Do they know how to use a compass and read a map properly? Absurdly vital as if foggy and can't see path. I would be worried about lack of experience - it's absolutely no joke if it's foggy and you wander off the path ' if on Ben Nevis, this has proved fatal for nanny. My Dad was a mountaineer & I trusted him implicitly but he always instilled in us the importance of reading a compass and map on the mountains. I think it's great that your son and friend has the interest in camping and walking up the mountain and I hope they have a great time but I would also be passed off with your DH.

• absolutely bot absurdly!!

Which mountain is it? All 3 have very safe routes up that a young child could do.. but they also all have more difficult routes up.
If he's going up scafell via the main route it's basically 90% steps and then loose rocks at the very top however no steep drops from these rocks.
Snowdon main route is also very safe apart from in the depths of winter there can be some issues with deep snow covering the route and people following the train tracks instead and ending up in a dangerous section.. however not an issue this time of year. My 7yo son has climbed snowdon via this route.
I have climbed all 3 mountains on various routes and I am overweight and not particularly fit.
As long as they are sensibly attired and going in summer with good weather predicted and just doing a reasonably safe route there is absolutely no reason to worry. Even if it were just the two 17yo going I wouldn't worry tbh.

As for Ben nevis the main route up is also very safe but the weather can be more changeable (it can always be changeable on mountains but ben nevis particularly so) make sure even if it's blazing sunshine at the bottom he has proper warm clothing and waterproofs. And make sure they are sensible enough to just turn back if visibility goes.

My dad lives in the Lake District. Mountain rescue volunteers have to rescue a lot of people who go unprepared and underestimate the challenge.

I think the op is being too cautious but I disagree with you, people have died in the lake district amongst other places

As for Ben nevis the main route up is also very safe but the weather can be more changeable (it can always be changeable on mountains but ben nevis particularly so).

Dh and I went up Ben Nevis years ago. He's very experienced in the mountains. It was sunny and warm at the bottom. We didn't quite make it to the top, because the weather turned massively. By the time we were 3/4 of the way up it was snowing pretty heavily and some serious climbers with all the gear passed us on their way down and said we should turn back because it was a white-out at the top and you couldn't see your hand in front of your face. This was at Easter time, not midwinter.

I live just outside the Lake District National Park. There are pretty frequent rescues, and they are not all daft, unfit people trying to go up mountains in flipflops.

It's this kind of silly attitude that have people climbing Nevis in trainers. All mountains can be dangerous.

Why do you feel it's appropriate to make misleading statements like this when you clearly have no idea what you're talking about?

It's comments like these that encourage reckless behaviour on mountains, which then endangers the mountain rescuers who have to deal with the consequences.

No knowledge = no comment

@RaspberryCloud Well they probably don’t read these comments.

On a serious note though: I do believe walkers should take more responsibility for their actions and be required to contribute to mountain rescue. Either with membership or daily payment. The main routes should have a “meet and greet” and walkers make a donation. Mt local wildlife trust does this upon entry to the reserve. The meet and greet station could take down names, contacts, phone numbers, route, expected time back, give advice, and even issue warnings to the poorly prepared. Clearly walkers don’t always take advice but a few might. I apologise if this is already done but there is a need to reduce incidents on mountains which are avoidable.

This is a nice idea in theory but it would be absolutely impossible to implement.

@andrainwillmaketheflowersgrow I do not see why. The NT has meet and greet. Wildlife reserves too. Everyone says there are main routes. I guess cars get parked all over but out the stations on the main routes. These are tourist areas so getting into out there matters and so does money to pay for services. I don’t see why it should all be free.

Sorry: put the stations on the main routes. Getting info out there ……

The friends Dad is there though?

Snowdon is 76th highest in the UK and Scafel is 257th - OP has stated it's one of the top 3 (i'd assumed highest peaks in the UK, but realise i might be misinterpreting and they meant one of the top 3 of the various countries). Yes, there's well marked routes and "easy paths" on a lot the peaks, but no mountain is entirely safe - even less so if it's one of the top Scottish peaks where the weather can change rapidly at any time of year (which is what I'd assumed the OP meant).

It's pretty obvious why it won't work

There are hundreds of National Trust car parks that would need policing, and that's before you consider the thousands of people who just park in lay-bys or on the side of the road, or in fields or pubs etc.

People also don't want the Lake District (or the Peak District, or the Dales) to be monetised and turned into a paid for attraction - one of the reasons people visit is because it's free to access and available for everyone regardless of income or background.

Mountain rescue is a volunteer service funded I think mostly through donations from walkers and climbers

Forcing people to pay or have insurance has negative effects which means MRT tend not to support such ideas

And honestly it's not THAT dangerous - we don't force insurance on people who do DIY do we ?

@TizerorFizz in Scotland?! There are 282 munroes and thousands of smaller hills.
I don't even know how they would begin to implement your suggestion.

I'd also say the majority of the hill deaths in Scotland are from experienced, responsible climbers and hillwalkers. It's not a risk-free activity and sometimes things go wrong, like rock falls or avalances. The recent Glencoe deaths were a guide and two clients, and he was highly experienced and well-regarded.

This attitude is exactly why we need mountain rescue.

Or you could just google the deaths.

I think you’re being a bit over cautious OP. I’d give the DS friend dad a call and have a chat about plans and such if it will reassure you.

Bear Grylls has the reputation of doing “mad” survival things, but can’t say he’s not experienced in survival and how to gad about like a mountain goat.

It’s not without risk of course, but mountaineering is so much fun and I really enjoyed the years I was doing it. You are best starting on a tamer U.K. mountains at 17 or so. Id make sure he has good kit and btw- if he has a newer iPhone they can all do emergency satellite phone calls now so you don’t need to be in cell service to get a call through.