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Original poster

Should 16 year olds get pocket money or get a job?

188 replies

Dramatic · 31/08/2023 20:52

My DD is 16, about to start a full time a level course at college (6th form) me and DH are having a slight disagreement on what money we should give her.

He's saying we should give her money for transport and food at college but nothing else and that if she wants any extras she should get a part time/Saturday job. I think we should still be giving her a bit of pocket money, say around £10-20 per week so she can go out with her friends, buy herself some little treats or whatever.

We still buy all her clothes/toiletries and essentials.

Who is BU?

OP posts:
Motheranddaughter · 01/09/2023 14:38

At 16/18 our DC got an allowance ,I didn’t want them working during the exam years

CandyLeBonBon · 01/09/2023 14:49

TheTurn0fTheScrew · 01/09/2023 14:35

Yeah, it's hard for 16yos to get paid work now. My 16yo will be in college five days, and at an extra curricular 8.30-5 on Saturdays, so only had Sundays and evenings.

Almost everywhere she's looked either wants 18yos, or people who can offer either more hours or more flexibily. Which pretty much leaves McDonald's, with the result that it's super competitive - she and half her mates have been rejected from there.

The jobs my friends and I did as 16yos were either as "Saturday girls" just doing 6-8 hours in a shop, or cash in hand fruit picking and packing. These jobs now seem to want full timers, or at least 16hrs minimum either expectation of overtime.

This!

CaramelicedLatte · 01/09/2023 15:08

I'm afraid once mine is at college he'll have to get a job to cover the 'extras,' we simply can't afford to give him £20+ a week as well as paying phone etc. Luckily, he wants to do an apprenticeship.

He's desperate for a job (15 currently) and I've said he can't even get one at 16 straight away, as he has quite a late in the year birthday and I'd rather he focussed on GCSEs. He can get a part time job once he's finished school. We will then cover a bus pass (if he wants one, he walks a lot through choice) and his phone. He can do the extras.

He currently gets £25 a month pocket money, we pay his phone and he can come to the gym with us. That suits him fine.

honeylulu · 01/09/2023 15:16

When I was a teen I got both. £40 per month from parents (that was the child benefit essentially in the late 80s/ early 90s) and also had a part time job from age 15. I would spend the allowance and save the earnings.

I would say less than half the girls at school had a job (strict all girl school where a lot if them had very sheltered lives). The ones that didn't work at all got better results than me but I suspect that is more to do with strict parents rather than working/ but working per se.

My teen gets £20 per week and phone paid (his dad works in telecoms so costs almost nothing). He has to clear up after himself and be relatively polite and pleasant in return. He can also earn extra by doing specific jobs like hoovering (which we hate) and varnishing garden furniture though he has to do it to a good standard. Also gives up his Saturday night sometimes to babysit for youngest for a modest fee.

He has had a waiter job previously but really struggled with his studies (has late diagnosed adhd and did a LOT of catching up at school after years of messing about but to his credit ended up with ABC a levels to his credit). The restaurant was a bit of a piss take as he had to do a week of (3) trial shifts snd buy his own uniform. Then 3 weeks of shifts, some if them finishing 11.30pm week nights. Then the fourth week no shifts because some other poor sod would be in doing free trial shifts. So because he wasn't in for a full month he wouldn't be eligible for a share of the tip pot. He was struggling a bit with getting into college on time so gave it up before peak exam season which we supported.

He's tried his best to get a summer job, applied for more than 20 but as he had three trips away booked (and was honest about that) he didn't get very far. He's off to uni in a couple of weeks and we're going to provide the recommended minimum parental top up but if he wants more he'll need to get a part time job, presumably will avoid waiting tables - not a good mix with adhd.

I don't think he's got no work ethic. He did a week of unpaid work experience last year and got very good feedback.

allthehops · 01/09/2023 15:56

Get a job.

Both mine got weekend jobs at 16 and it did them the world of good in terms of maturing/organisation skills/boosting cv as well as giving them fun/clothes money. They managed fine alongside A levels.

PugInTheHouse · 01/09/2023 16:28

@honeylulu the fact your DS has been trying shows his work ethic. It is definitely a lot harder now, me and my friends all had Saturday jobs from 14, even pubs would take you from 15 waiting tables etc. So much harder now.

I genuinely don't believe working leads to worse results, there is no way of proving this via research really either. How can this be proven when there are so many other factors involved, and how can you know what someone would have achieved, just because they weren't working doesn't mean they are studying.

Sometimes the ones wanting to work are those who may not get high exam results anyway, they are the practical ones quite often, this will be my DS2, he has autism, ADHD and a learning difficulty, he should pass just about, then with higher marks in maths and PE I imagine. He could try sit and work for hours at home but won't do any better, he couldn't possibly concentrate for much more time than his school day.

DS1 could have possibly got all 8/9s if he studied more but he got 6-9s anyway and only needed 5 x 4s for his college course. Even if he hadn't been working I don't think he would have studied more really. Absolutely no point in him studying for more hours and not working in his chosen career for results he didn't need. So he would potentially skew research results if only working was taken into account.

UsingChangeofName · 01/09/2023 17:01

CandyLeBonBon · 01/09/2023 14:49

This!

Show quote history

Between my 3, whilst they were 6th formers (16 - 18 yrs) they had the following jobs:
babysitting
working an hour after school 4 days a week, cleaning in a shop
mother's help in school holidays, incl 1/2 terms - looking after 3 dc whilst the Mum wfh
working in an Outdoor shop
working in a local cafe
lifeguarding
Working with a company that did children's parties
working at a softplay / trampoline place

Lifeguarding was best - paid most and was flexible, but babysitting was such an easy earner too. For all those saying "they need time to study" you generally can, once you've put the dc to bed.

However, my point is, there are plenty of jobs out there. Lots of places like U18s as they can pay them less, legally.

Original poster
Dramatic · 01/09/2023 17:06

SleepingStandingUp · 01/09/2023 08:34

What's her college timetable like? If she's in similar to school hours with an hour commute either end, i wouldn't really expect her to then to go out to work afterwards. If she's working weekends, I'd want to facilitate travel as much as possible - an hour each way on an 8 he shift is a whole day gone.

She could look if there's jobs near college week days if she could manage it but I'd Def give her a basic rate of pocket money

She will be at college full time school hours and will have about 1 hour 15- 1 hour 30 of travel either side so she'll be out of the house from approximately 7.30am - 5pm.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dramatic · 01/09/2023 17:21

SouperWoman · 01/09/2023 10:28

@Dramatic it’s a false economy to make her work in addition to her studying because it is likely to compromise her ability to achieve top grades. I know many (most?) MNers will disagree but - if you can afford it - I think you should continue to fund her lifestyle until after this course.

She barely scraped through her GCSEs despite being predicted relatively good grades, in fact she's had to go to a different college because she couldn't get in her first choice with the grades she got. We've managed to get her on a really good course which can still lead her to uni but she'll have to work very very hard to get there.

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 01/09/2023 17:23

She will be at college full time school hours and will have about 1 hour 15- 1 hour 30 of travel either side so she'll be out of the house from approximately 7.30am - 5pm.

Mine was similar, she had plenty of homework and we wanted her to have time for doing other stuff (and just chilling) at the weekend. Also we live in a village with no real employment options for teens.
She did well at A levels, and then got good internships in her uni summer vacs which provided relevant work experience and amply demonstrated her work ethic.

One size doesn't fit all, a casual job may be great or necessary for some teens but it's not important for all of them.

DecisionDilemma · 01/09/2023 17:37

ErrolTheDragon · 01/09/2023 17:23

She will be at college full time school hours and will have about 1 hour 15- 1 hour 30 of travel either side so she'll be out of the house from approximately 7.30am - 5pm.

Mine was similar, she had plenty of homework and we wanted her to have time for doing other stuff (and just chilling) at the weekend. Also we live in a village with no real employment options for teens.
She did well at A levels, and then got good internships in her uni summer vacs which provided relevant work experience and amply demonstrated her work ethic.

One size doesn't fit all, a casual job may be great or necessary for some teens but it's not important for all of them.

Agree with all this. In fact I limit my 17 year old’s work to 7 hours a week, maximum, they earn almost £10 an hour and average between £150-£200 a month - so not too many hours imo.

It can be hard for teens these days, a lot of jobs round here wanted a 12 hour weekly minimum. So all day Saturday and an evening shift. Much too much with A levels, hobbies, a bit of socialising and a bit of down time. Well too much for my DC who has a couple of health issues and was under the care of CAHMS, not necessarily all.

HerMammy · 01/09/2023 18:51

She barely scraped through her GCSEs despite being predicted relatively good grades, in fact she's had to go to a different college because she couldn't get in her first choice with the grades she got. We've managed to get her on a really good course which can still lead her to uni but she'll have to work very very hard to get there.
I see this often on MN, would this not suggest that perhaps she's not suited for university? doesn't have the ability etc
Too many parents think uni is the only path for their kids.

shellyleppard · 01/09/2023 19:05

My son was at college and I used to give him £100 a month. This was for transport to the college and food so he didn't miss out when his friends went out. He's now doing an apprenticeship and has started giving me rent money and buying his own foot. Its a difficult one but some money does help x

Original poster
Dramatic · 02/09/2023 01:27

HerMammy · 01/09/2023 18:51

She barely scraped through her GCSEs despite being predicted relatively good grades, in fact she's had to go to a different college because she couldn't get in her first choice with the grades she got. We've managed to get her on a really good course which can still lead her to uni but she'll have to work very very hard to get there.
I see this often on MN, would this not suggest that perhaps she's not suited for university? doesn't have the ability etc
Too many parents think uni is the only path for their kids.

No I don't think this at all, there's no pushy parenting going on here. Neither me or DH went to uni, I don't know many people who did. It's DD who is determined to do it, I have spoken to her about different options and avenues but she's not interested. She has the ability if she can just learn to cope with exams.

OP posts:
LBFseBrom · 02/09/2023 01:38

I paid mine an allowance until his 19th birthday (after that it was on an ad hoc basis), and he had a part time job when at school, more hours during the holidays. It wouldn't have occurred to me not to.

Loub55 · 02/09/2023 02:10

Merryoldgoat · 31/08/2023 21:04

I think a Saturday job is fine but more than that is a bad idea.

I worked a lot during a levels owing complete poverty and I just wasn’t focused and didn’t do very well. I could’ve done much better with less worries about money.

Totally agree. Back in the late 90s I worked a couple of weekday evenings, sat night and all day Sunday as a waitress in a restaurant when I was 16-17 studying A levels. I think I'd have done a lot better if I worked less. Teachers did try to tell me but I didn't listen.

Saoirse82 · 02/09/2023 03:27

I think at 16 school should be your focus so I'd be giving her a little pocket money.

Saoirse82 · 02/09/2023 03:33

SharonEllis · 01/09/2023 06:50

£20 a week & you buy all her clothes & essentials? That seems a lot to me, what do they spend it all on? My 16yo only gets £5 a week & seems to have enough. We will be encouraging her to get a Saturday job soon & see how it goes in terms of impact on study.

What can you buy for a fiver these days? And how do you make it stretch a week? You cant really go anywhere with a fiver, maybe to McDonalds for a happy meal once a week!

OldTinHat · 02/09/2023 03:39

A job.

SharonEllis · 02/09/2023 05:43

Saoirse82 · 02/09/2023 03:33

What can you buy for a fiver these days? And how do you make it stretch a week? You cant really go anywhere with a fiver, maybe to McDonalds for a happy meal once a week!

Show quote history

We feed her, why does she need to go to Macdonalds? As I said she seems to manage fine. She also has birthday & xmas money that she saves & dips into & we occasionally give her a bit extra for something special such as going out. A lot of her friends don't have much & they are pretty expert at having a good time on a shoestring. I think thats to be encouraged rather than wasting money on crap or overpriced things like fancy drinks.

Motheranddaughter · 02/09/2023 10:52

Going to Mcdonald’s with friends is not really about the food

orangeyeahthatsright · 02/09/2023 12:05

I had a Saturday job and got pocket money at that age. I used to feel like I was rolling in it. 😄

Lucyccfc68 · 02/09/2023 12:13

All of my DS’s friends have had jobs during college and all done well in their exams. The jobs have ranged from working in shops, supermarkets, refereeing, cafe and one gets paid to play a sport.

They all had a free bus pass as they are students. (They get them for 2 years where we live). I give my DS £100 which he uses for lunches, drinks and snacks at college.

As someone who takes on young people into apprenticeships and graduate roles, one of the things I look for on their CV is work experience. Having a part time job is not just about having money in their pocket, it’s about the life skills they learn from it and can transfer to a full time role when older.

TheBarbieEffect · 02/09/2023 12:20

She’s 16. She’s got the rest of her life ahead of her to work.

Let her enjoy the last of this carefree time while she has it.

Saoirse82 · 02/09/2023 12:57

SharonEllis · 02/09/2023 05:43

We feed her, why does she need to go to Macdonalds? As I said she seems to manage fine. She also has birthday & xmas money that she saves & dips into & we occasionally give her a bit extra for something special such as going out. A lot of her friends don't have much & they are pretty expert at having a good time on a shoestring. I think thats to be encouraged rather than wasting money on crap or overpriced things like fancy drinks.

Show quote history

I just meant what does she do with friends to socialise? A fiver wouldn't get you to the cinema these days.