And lose weight.
It sounds shallow but everyday I struggle with what to wear. And then go around all day looking at myself in mirrors and reflections in windows and hating what I see. It's so hard to dress this body and feel confident in it. I know from experience that when I weighed less everything seemed simpler and I actually liked seeing my reflection and in photos. Now I sit down and have this massive bulge of a belly in front of me.
It's totally my own fault. As Mimi Maguire says - I am a fucking fat fuck. I love eating. I binge eat. I drink wine a couple days of times a week. I have huge portions. I love carbs. I don't know exercise. I know what I need to do to improve things but I just don't want to because I hate exercising and I love food and wine.
I see countless weight loss threads on here with people listing the fruits and veg and fish and grains they eat and I just think it sounds rubbish. Maybe it's because im not an accomplished cook but i genuinely don't know how I could make those foods feel more appealing to me than a pizza or a Chinese.
I'm starting to think it's something psychological because I don't want to be like this but literally week in week out I repeat the same behaviour. Why? Just why?