Friend said our holidays are boring

[SusanandMidge]

My friend and her husband love travelling and go on about 4 holidays a year. This year they've been to Egypt, India and Japan and are planning a trip to Croatia next month,
We prefer to holiday in the UK. Just throw everything into the car, no airport security, worrying about losing passports, delayed flights etc. We genuinely enjoy driving around places like the Lake District, Devon, Wales etc., stopping off at nice villages, chilling out in the garden of rented cottages with a glass of wine and a book, pottering up to the local pub for dinner and all that.

Last night, after a couple of drinks, my friend asked me why we go on such 'boring' holidays. I just said I wouldn't really enjoy the holidays she goes on but each to their own. She started persisting, saying 'don't you want to see the world' and so on. I pointed out that when we were younger we went to the States, Australia and lots of European countries. Then she said yeah but that was years ago, and we should 'treat ourselves' to a few nice holidays.

We're about to head down to Cornwall for a week, but her comments have kind of ruined it. I really don't want to go on long haul holidays and was content with our UK holidays but now just feel like everyone thinks we're boring and unadventurous. AIBU.

Your friend sound like a PITA. Everyone who doesn't do as she does is 'boring'.

I'd be telling her that she is 'jaded'. Has travelled so much that she no longer sees the uniqueness and value of the individual locations she travels to, they're just some sort of notch on her travel bedpost.

"OP doesn't go abroad and her friend flies 4 times a year, it's self evident"

Is it bollocks. You've been reading too much tabloid 🤣

The OP might have 2 kids and 3 dogs. Her friend might have none and be vegan.

Well I’m with your friend - your holidays sound boring to me and a total waste of money.

But if you like them, what does it matter?

Your holidays sound lovely, and if you enjoy them who cares what anyone else thinks. At least you know you'll never get stuck abroad during an emergency/flight cancellation, etc. People's exotic holidays turn sour very quickly as soon as something untoward happens and they can't get back home and they get no support from the airline or travel company.

However, I remember asking someone why she only ever seemed to go on holidays with a big group, and never just her and her DP on their own. In actual fact, it was none of my business and I don't think it occurred to me that I should have kept my question to myself until I started using MN a few years later and realised how many things are considered rude!

Who gives a shit? She doesn’t need to justify anything 😂

I'm 34 and used to love travelling all around like your friend. Now I really appreciate a local peaceful holiday down in the Alps with a hike, a comfy hotel bed and local Bavarian food for dinner.

I mean compared to India/ Japan/ Egypt I can see why she thinks Cornwall/ Wakles etc are boring, especially when you take the weather into account. But everybody likes different things from a holiday, nothing wrong with you doing the holidays you enjoy!

Your holidays are my idea of total chill out holiday. See some sights, chill out, potter. Your friends are rude to call holidays boring - each to their own

Each to their own! If you enjoy it, go for it!
My friend loves camping - I hate it. We can still be friends, we just don’t holiday together.

Ask her why she's so selfish, op and wrecking the world with her multiple flights a year or why she wants to miss out on enjoying her own country?

You are being daft to care. She was rude but so what? She's too dim to realise other people like different things and to know what's unnecessary to say.

I wouldn't go to Disney for a million pounds but I don't think anyone who does go is wasting their money or doing holidays "wrong". Even if I did I wouldn't say so and if I did say so I ought to be ignored.

Ooh. My first chance at the edit button to change ate to are. Exciting.

My guess is your friend is more concerned you’re not envious of her multiple holidays abroad. I imagine a lot of people tell her how lucky she is and how jealous they are and here you are saying you’d rather chill In Cornwall. Don’t let her spoil your getaway, what she thinks doesn’t matter 😊

I wouldn’t particularly like her holidays or yours.

On hers I would feel processed, and as if I were seeing a disney-fied version of the country I was visiting. Yours would be too relaxed, as I like to get out and see things whether in the UK or abroad.

As you say, to each their own, and there’s to need for her to be rude about other people’s choices.

That has to be Carbis Bay! ❤️❤️

Oh stop it. Being vegan doesn't automatically reduce one's carbon footprint. And even when it does, it's not going to offset multiple flights each year.

If we all liked the same holidays, places would get booked up very quickly and other Countries would loose out on tourism.

Personally I prefer holidays abroad, we love Orlando and I'd never self cater now, we did pool holidays and self catering and all inclusive when kids were young, it suited us then, they're older now so we need a holiday that has something interesting for us all, there's only one out of the 7 of us who enjoys lazying around but the rest are pretty adventurous.

If you enjoy staying near home and cooking and reading books in the garden then that's your type of holiday and you shouldn't be ashamed or embarrassed by it. Same way she likes something completely different.

@CherryMaDeara

that looks amazing, where was it?

@SusanandMidge I don't have the dingy these days for her kind of holiday. I've never liked that kind of group organised type thing.She can keep it.

I used to travel a lot on my own to various places & loved to explore. However my life changed a lot and now I really can't do it. but I would still like to travel.

your holidays also sound lovely! (It's expensive though for 1 person, so I don't do it often ). Don't let her comments take the shine off your holiday!!

if this new variation of Covid, doesn't spike the rates of hospitalisations too much, I'm going to pick up my trips to Christmas Markets in Europe again this year. That's about as exciting as I can cope with just now.

your 'friend' is bloody rude.

I go abroad and in the U.K. and there are some holidays I would not choose anywhere - holiday camps, all- inclusive resorts, theme parks, cruises... but wouldn't criticise others for enjoying them. She sounds rude!

If everyone did what they did then the prices would rise so high and it would be so busy they wouldn’t be able to go. It’s good other people go to other places and do different things.

I think it's a little unfair that some people are saying OP is being unreasonable, ridiculous, overreacting or in need of a grip, for feeling the shine has been taken off her next holiday a bit.

There's a well-established body of psychological theory (cognitive balance theory) and experimental evidence demonstrating how strong the human predisposition is to be influenced by the preferences of others. It seems to be a basic fundamental property of human psychology that we try to align our preferences to avoid uncomfortable psychological tension — if people we like dislike something, it can influence us against the thing, probably whether we want it to or not. OP isn't weak for being affected this way, just human. And yes, she should try to shake it off and have fun anyway, but IMO her response is understandable.

Also, the friend didn't just say she would find it boring, which might be fair enough (though maybe a bit rude, depending on the type of relationship). She criticised the holidays more generally and said the OP should choose differently, which moves it from being an expression of her own personal preferences to something that could feel like an implicit criticism of OP herself.

I imagine she's put out you're not sufficiently envious. Perhaps you enjoy you're hols more because you do what makes you happy not just to boast about it.

"Oh stop it. Being vegan doesn't automatically reduce one's carbon footprint. And even when it does, it's not going to offset multiple flights each year."

You missed the kids and dogs. You stop it. Nothing more boring than dragging carbon footprints into it when you've fuck all info other than where they holiday. Yawn 🥱

Yes, you are being unreasonable to think everyone thinks you are boring! Who cares what they think? It's your money and time, use it how you wish. Or are you secretly convinced by what she says?

We have a couple of holidays a year (though actually only one this year). My DH loves to go abroad, as do I, but I also love going to places in the UK and manage to persuade him to do that from time to time. So I totally understand why you would enjoy your holidays.

You do you, etc.

My husband and I have one ‘flop and drop’ holiday every feb. Admittedly abroad, but we do nothing but swim, read, eat and drink. We always meet Americans there who fill each day with a frenzy of activities. So our slothdom must seem very boring. But we love it and it is so relaxing.

We’ve just come back from 2 active weeks with the family. Relaxing? Not so much.

My in laws do 2 weeks camping. My idea of hell on earth, but they love it.

Each to their own.

I find going to foreign countries where you don't speak the language can be quite intimidating and overwhelming. I used to be fine but as I've got older I'm more anxious. The whole rigmarole of packing, flights etc can be really stressful too. Our last holiday in Portugal was stressful from start to finish, everything went wrong and I was ill from the moment we stepped off the plane. I wouldn't rule it out but has put me off going abroad for a long time