Page 23 | Reborn dolls in the pram bay

gezelligheid · 2023-08-31T06:34:39+00:00

A couple of times now I've been unable to get on the bus with my baby in a pram because there are two local women who take their reborn dolls out in prams and take up the pram bays. I know they are reborn dolls as I've seen the dolls in their pram. I understand people have reborn dolls for many different reasons but to take up a space meaning a real baby can't get on the bus surely isn't fair? I've complained to the bus service and they've said they cannot monitor whether babies are real or not so if they get on the bus first I should ask them to put their pram down upon boarding. I'm worried this will cause an altercation on the bus so I'm wondering AIBU to say something on the bus even though it may be embarrassing for the women?

Physicstruck · 02/09/2023 01:48

Nobody has any idea what any other woman has been through though, it doesn’t mean we just give everyone the green light to behave in ways that are selfish and socially unacceptable just in case they have some trauma in their past.

CrawleyEstate · 02/09/2023 03:25

DinkyGT · 01/09/2023 23:54

A very close relative of mine has a newborn doll and takes it out and about with her and has a pram and accessories for it. She has autism and emotional/developmental delay. She believes she is ready to start a family of her own but for many reasons, this cannot happen for her. Her doll/her baby is her security in a world which she struggles to make sense of and anyone mis-handling her belongings - doll included - would cause her a great deal of distress and discomfort. This is just for those of you who think it is ok to even joke about doing things to people’s property like - ‘picking it up by the foot and hanging it upside down’.
Just for the record as well - whenever she has been -politely - asked on the bus to fold down her pram, she has happily obliged with no fuss (she pops her baby in its sling). Maybe decency in just asking respectfully would go further than you think.

If she is happy to fold her pram when she is asked then she isn’t a problem (I don’t understand why so many people on mumsnet think it’s terrible to have to ask for stuff). No one should be interfering with her things.

Even people who have the dolls for therapeutic reasons would have to fold their pram if a wheelchair got on- they can’t just expect to not be inconvenienced.

Guardami · 02/09/2023 07:36

Is this for real? 🤦‍♀️

sunglassesonthetable · 02/09/2023 08:51

Twitter was a genius idea @Conky1975

Shelby2010 · 02/09/2023 10:17

If they are always together, could you ask them if their ‘babies’ would mind sharing a pram for the journey so they could fold the other pram?

Also, if you recognise them then you can you not speak to the bus driver when you get on and ask for assistance?

eastegg · 02/09/2023 10:43

MumblesParty · 31/08/2023 08:49

Why would someone who doesn’t use a wheelchair need a wheelchair space? Someone’s disability could be deafness for example. How will a wheelchair space help them? Wouldn’t they prefer a normal seat? I think you’re confusing “disabled” with “wheelchair user”. It would be a total nightmare for wheelchair users if the wheelchair spaces were allocated to everyone with every kind of conceivable disability!

I agree that the people who have reborn dolls are clearly mentally fragile, and possibly significantly mentally ill, but that doesn’t warrant a wheelchair space.

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I agree. I’d be interested to know what Neverdrop’s response would be to a wheelchair user getting on and wanting the space already occupied by a reborn doll owner with MH issues.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 02/09/2023 11:02

eastegg · 02/09/2023 10:43

I agree. I’d be interested to know what Neverdrop’s response would be to a wheelchair user getting on and wanting the space already occupied by a reborn doll owner with MH issues.

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The words Wheelchair+space answer that one 'This is a space for wheelchairs, so could you hold your baby, please?'. Although if you go by previous threads on this matter, it's only the last 3 or so where the attitude hasn't been almost entirely that the woman with a buggy is there first, has just as much right to occupy the space and the wheelchair user can just fuck off and wait for the next one, so the Reborn owner could conceivably adopt a similar attitude as learned from others.

In any case, the OP explains there are dedicated pram spaces that this person was using, so I expect there's a reason why it's not deemed safe for wheelchairs (not rear facing, perhaps? No solid side to prevent tipping?) - it's therefore a different theoretical situation you're mooting.

Sennelier1 · 02/09/2023 11:10

I travelled with my daughter and her baby in London last week. I can confirm on most busses we used there is a double bay, one side for wheelchair users, the other side for prams. And yes, on some rides there were two prams abord but since there wasn't a wheelchair user travelling at that time there was no problem and no complaints. My own grandchild and the other children I saw were all real babies - I played peekaboo with them and they laughed and waved. Or maybe this is the new dimension of reborn dolls.

Original poster

gezelligheid · 02/09/2023 11:49

Sennelier1 · 02/09/2023 11:10

I travelled with my daughter and her baby in London last week. I can confirm on most busses we used there is a double bay, one side for wheelchair users, the other side for prams. And yes, on some rides there were two prams abord but since there wasn't a wheelchair user travelling at that time there was no problem and no complaints. My own grandchild and the other children I saw were all real babies - I played peekaboo with them and they laughed and waved. Or maybe this is the new dimension of reborn dolls.

Then you and your daughter and grandchild or the people on your bus obviously aren't the people I'm speaking about in my post

OP posts:

Sennelier1 · 02/09/2023 12:29

@gezelligheid I know! And I'm afraid that from now on I will be unable to nót check every baby on their degree of being alive 🤦🏼‍♀️

inisisle · 02/09/2023 12:32

Sennelier1 · 02/09/2023 11:10

I travelled with my daughter and her baby in London last week. I can confirm on most busses we used there is a double bay, one side for wheelchair users, the other side for prams. And yes, on some rides there were two prams abord but since there wasn't a wheelchair user travelling at that time there was no problem and no complaints. My own grandchild and the other children I saw were all real babies - I played peekaboo with them and they laughed and waved. Or maybe this is the new dimension of reborn dolls.

That's your own experience though and nothing to do with the example, involving dolls, in the OP 🤔

inisisle · 02/09/2023 12:33

Hopefully the bus company will come through with some help after the contact on Twitter.

PeachyPeachTrees · 02/09/2023 12:43

I'd be very frustrated too but they can't be on the bus all the time! Your only option is to leave early and if they are on the bus then get the next one which they definitely won't be on.

doroda · 02/09/2023 12:48

DinkyGT · 01/09/2023 23:54

A very close relative of mine has a newborn doll and takes it out and about with her and has a pram and accessories for it. She has autism and emotional/developmental delay. She believes she is ready to start a family of her own but for many reasons, this cannot happen for her. Her doll/her baby is her security in a world which she struggles to make sense of and anyone mis-handling her belongings - doll included - would cause her a great deal of distress and discomfort. This is just for those of you who think it is ok to even joke about doing things to people’s property like - ‘picking it up by the foot and hanging it upside down’.
Just for the record as well - whenever she has been -politely - asked on the bus to fold down her pram, she has happily obliged with no fuss (she pops her baby in its sling). Maybe decency in just asking respectfully would go further than you think.

Good that she folds the pram when asked, but I wonder how many times somebody with a real baby hasn't been able to get on the bus at all because she's taking up the last space. Who is going to know from the bus stop it's a doll?

Seeings as she has a sling, she really should be encouraged to leave the pram at home when getting a bus. You're aware of the situation clearly, can't you intervene here?

daliesque · 02/09/2023 12:55

For those talking about dogs in prams - owners tend to use those when the dog is really old and can't walk far anymore. It's good for the dog because they still get to go out and about. He happen to have an ancient JRT staying with us at the moment as my partner is a vet and he is looking after the dog while the owners are visiting their daughter in another country. There's nothing wrong with the dog, he's just old and doddery and needs a bit of help to get around, so we have a trolley/pushchair type thing. It means he can come out with us and our own dogs.

The doll thing is totally crazy tbh and I'd fully support a mum with a really baby in that space above a woman with a doll.

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 02/09/2023 12:59

Who is going to know from the bus stop it's a doll?

Yes, this is what I don't get. If the whole bus is full, the driver will put up a sign and/or not accept any more passengers; but what if you need a specific space - wheelchair/priority/pram or even just cannot stand - and you won't know if it's available until you buy a ticket and get on?

Upon realising this, do you have to very quickly backtrack before the bus starts moving and then get a refund, before getting off the bus and hoping that the next one will have space? Also, when people say "wait for the next one", what if you're in an area with a really poor bus service and the next one might not be along for hours? Can nobody ever make firm plans for their day, or do you just have to live hoping for the best but always preparing for disappointment?

eastegg · 02/09/2023 13:00

NeverDropYourMooncup · 02/09/2023 11:02

The words Wheelchair+space answer that one 'This is a space for wheelchairs, so could you hold your baby, please?'. Although if you go by previous threads on this matter, it's only the last 3 or so where the attitude hasn't been almost entirely that the woman with a buggy is there first, has just as much right to occupy the space and the wheelchair user can just fuck off and wait for the next one, so the Reborn owner could conceivably adopt a similar attitude as learned from others.

In any case, the OP explains there are dedicated pram spaces that this person was using, so I expect there's a reason why it's not deemed safe for wheelchairs (not rear facing, perhaps? No solid side to prevent tipping?) - it's therefore a different theoretical situation you're mooting.

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I’m mooting the same situation you were mooting when you said that someone with a reborn had ‘an entitlement to use the wheelchair space over and above somebody with a kid in a buggy’. I’m interested in where you think that entitlement comes from, given that, as you point out, the wheelchair space is for wheelchairs.

lordloveadog · 02/09/2023 13:10

PPs who think it's fine for someone with a baby-sized doll in a pram to take up a pram space, would you also think it's ok for someone with a child-sized doll in a wheelchair to take up a wheelchair space?

Skinthin · 02/09/2023 13:11

doroda · 02/09/2023 12:48

Good that she folds the pram when asked, but I wonder how many times somebody with a real baby hasn't been able to get on the bus at all because she's taking up the last space. Who is going to know from the bus stop it's a doll?

Seeings as she has a sling, she really should be encouraged to leave the pram at home when getting a bus. You're aware of the situation clearly, can't you intervene here?

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Is it really the worst hardship in the world for a woman (with a real baby no less) to wait for the next bus?

inisisle · 02/09/2023 13:17

Is it really the worst hardship in the world for a woman (with a real baby no less) to wait for the next bus?

Missed appointments, waiting in poor weather for lengthy periods. Because two people with dolls have pushed ahead of her.

So not the 'worst hardship in the world' but not acceptable either.

Insommmmnia · 02/09/2023 13:21

Skinthin · 02/09/2023 13:11

Is it really the worst hardship in the world for a woman (with a real baby no less) to wait for the next bus?

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I don't think anyone said it was the worst hardship

That still doesn't make it okay

By that measure all threads on MN are moot because the OP is dying of starvation etc

Just because it's not the worst doesn't make it okay still

WeightoftheWorld · 02/09/2023 13:22

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 02/09/2023 12:59

Who is going to know from the bus stop it's a doll?

Yes, this is what I don't get. If the whole bus is full, the driver will put up a sign and/or not accept any more passengers; but what if you need a specific space - wheelchair/priority/pram or even just cannot stand - and you won't know if it's available until you buy a ticket and get on?

Upon realising this, do you have to very quickly backtrack before the bus starts moving and then get a refund, before getting off the bus and hoping that the next one will have space? Also, when people say "wait for the next one", what if you're in an area with a really poor bus service and the next one might not be along for hours? Can nobody ever make firm plans for their day, or do you just have to live hoping for the best but always preparing for disappointment?

Not related to the point about it being a doll but if you need a pram or wheelchair space it's obvious whilst the bus is pulling up whether there are any already on the bus. If I'm not sure my buggy will fit, say if there's already one large pram on or whatever then I ask the driver if there's room. They either tell me yes or no, occasionally they will shrug a bit and just tell me they're not sure and that's often when there is space but only if the person/people already on move around a bit iyswim. And that conversation will prompt the people using the spaces to then say no there isn't space or yes it's fine I will move my buggy x way etc. People don't get on a bus with a pram and pay for a ticket if there's no space. The driver would tell you anyway if you tried to that.

MrsJBaptiste · 02/09/2023 13:24

Who is going to know from the bus stop it's a doll?

Well if it was the lady sat next to me when I was having my eyebrows done, she would tell you multiple times. She had learning difficulties (as mentioned several times) and had reborn dolls of various sizes, ready to take out as they 'grew older'.

Her doll was bloody realistic to be honest but it was still a very odd conversation to be having.

Insommmmnia · 02/09/2023 13:27

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 02/09/2023 12:59

Who is going to know from the bus stop it's a doll?

Yes, this is what I don't get. If the whole bus is full, the driver will put up a sign and/or not accept any more passengers; but what if you need a specific space - wheelchair/priority/pram or even just cannot stand - and you won't know if it's available until you buy a ticket and get on?

Upon realising this, do you have to very quickly backtrack before the bus starts moving and then get a refund, before getting off the bus and hoping that the next one will have space? Also, when people say "wait for the next one", what if you're in an area with a really poor bus service and the next one might not be along for hours? Can nobody ever make firm plans for their day, or do you just have to live hoping for the best but always preparing for disappointment?

Can nobody ever make firm plans for their day, or do you just have to live hoping for the best but always preparing for disappointment?

Welcome to the world of being disabled

doroda · 02/09/2023 13:30

Skinthin · 02/09/2023 13:11

Is it really the worst hardship in the world for a woman (with a real baby no less) to wait for the next bus?

Show quote history

Not if the next bus was along 2 minutes afterwards, no. Meanwhile, back in the real world where we don't all live in places with frequent buses...yes it could be a real hardship having to wait another hour, possibly in bad weather, when you've got somewhere to be.