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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Children touching things in charity shops

108 replies

Nih · 30/08/2023 19:10

I took my children charity shopping today, we went to a different area, it's an "affluent" area according to google. Dulwich.

The DC like to pick up and have a proper look at the toys they're interested in buying which I don't think is unreasonable. How else would you know whether something works?

DD (4) liked the look of a spinning top and wanted to see what it did. Before she even had chance to push the lever down she was told off by the woman behind the till because "those toys are to be sold, not played with"

We put it back and left the shop so they lost that sale.

5 minutes down the road we had another frosty reception at another charity shop.

AIBU to think the children did nothing wrong and it's perfectly acceptable to handle and even try out toys in charity shops? Obviously not opening packaging etc but loose things on shelves.

It all felt very snob-like.

OP posts:
ChillysWaterBottle · 30/08/2023 19:20

I volunteered in a charity shop for 3 years and YANBU OP. Sorry they were dicks to your children. There are a variety of volunteers working in charity shops and while some are great some have very poor customer service skills.

OnAMidnightTrainToGeorgia · 30/08/2023 19:21

In a shop that's got the toys packaged, they wouldn't be able to play with them first

NuffSaidSam · 30/08/2023 19:23

OnAMidnightTrainToGeorgia · 30/08/2023 19:21

In a shop that's got the toys packaged, they wouldn't be able to play with them first

In a shop where the toys are new and packaged you assume that they're going to work and if they don't you'd take them back for a refund.

Charity shop are, for blindingly obvious reasons, different.

HarrietJet · 30/08/2023 19:24

Yeah, I'm kind of on the fence. They wouldn't be able to "try before they buy" in an actual toy shop.
As to whether it works / is complete, etc, it's easy enough to ask the assistant to check this after you've chosen something and taken it to the till.

OnAMidnightTrainToGeorgia · 30/08/2023 19:25

Op says her kid wanted to see what it did ... the parents job is to see if it's broken

Pleaseme · 30/08/2023 19:25

YANBU charity shops are often a bit odd these days. No room for new stock, high prices and a frosty reception. I’ve given up and just get books from the free phone box library/ bookshelf at local Co-op where you chuck 50p in the bucket.

Pleaseme · 30/08/2023 19:27

My dc once bought a transformer toy in bhf. I realised later it was an empty bottle of bubble bath that looked like a transformer toy! £3😒Definitely you should check things work.

paintitbosh · 30/08/2023 19:30

They over reacted. No harm in what your kids did.

Mistystar99 · 30/08/2023 19:30

I was in a charity shop yesterday and there were some kids absolutely trashing it, hands in everything, parents completely ignoring their own little shits. So yeah YABU if you are that parent.

Original poster
Nih · 30/08/2023 19:33

Just to add, we've never had an experience like this in any of our local charity shops. The volunteers and managers have always been welcoming and engage the children in chat about whatever they're buying. It's always a really nice shopping experience and they're not made to feel like a nuisance.

Of course the children don't open things that are in packaging. I'm talking about loose items on shelves.

I think its a snob thing. It's so out of touch with what I'm used to when I shop in other burroughs. I've left a review on Google and there are half a dozen similar 1* reviews.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nih · 30/08/2023 19:35

Pleaseme · 30/08/2023 19:25

YANBU charity shops are often a bit odd these days. No room for new stock, high prices and a frosty reception. I’ve given up and just get books from the free phone box library/ bookshelf at local Co-op where you chuck 50p in the bucket.

High prices, yes to this!

£4.50 for one solitary plastic dinosaur. £27.99 for a woman's blouse. Madness.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nih · 30/08/2023 19:37

Mistystar99 · 30/08/2023 19:30

I was in a charity shop yesterday and there were some kids absolutely trashing it, hands in everything, parents completely ignoring their own little shits. So yeah YABU if you are that parent.

Well fortunately for us and the shops we frequent I'm not that parent.

YABU for assuming I am.

OP posts:
saraclara · 30/08/2023 19:40

One of my local charity shops was selling a Primark top for more than it was new!

And yes, I stopped taking my (good quality) stuff to my nearest local charity shop because the volunteers there were so unpleasant.

Original poster
Nih · 30/08/2023 19:43

I'm just waiting for the regulars to show up and say how tired they are of charity shop bashing now 😁

OP posts:
HarrietJet · 30/08/2023 19:44

Nih · 30/08/2023 19:33

Just to add, we've never had an experience like this in any of our local charity shops. The volunteers and managers have always been welcoming and engage the children in chat about whatever they're buying. It's always a really nice shopping experience and they're not made to feel like a nuisance.

Of course the children don't open things that are in packaging. I'm talking about loose items on shelves.

I think its a snob thing. It's so out of touch with what I'm used to when I shop in other burroughs. I've left a review on Google and there are half a dozen similar 1* reviews.

How exactly is it a "snob" thing? Confused

NeedTheSeaside · 30/08/2023 19:44

We have 2 in the village. One makes you book an appointment to donate stuff, they have lots of huge bins out the back.

the shop looks beautiful, but they're very precious & aren't very nice to the young people that volunteer. the stuff is over priced & they throw away a LOT of stuff. Landfill. I think if they don't want perfectly good clothes, books, toys, bags, ornaments, golf clubs, dinner sets etc. they should pass them on to other charity shops not just Chuck them in landfill.

the other one is welcoming, always appreciative of whatever I take in. It looks like a jumble sale, but has interesting things in it.

id love to know which takes more money for their charity, but it's not a fair comparison anyway as one is next door to the busy church and a coffee shop, the other is next to less desirable shops & no cafe.

KnobbingtonKnobberson · 30/08/2023 19:45

some charity shop staff have a tendency to treat the shop like their own personal fiefdom. they can be a bit much.

aspirationalflamingo · 30/08/2023 19:45

I assume you would happily pay for anything your children broke?

ChuckMater · 30/08/2023 19:47

A charity shop I visit regularly (normally child free) actively encouraged my children to play with the toys when I took them in last. They said the parents are able to have a better look and more like to buy things if they aren't having to worry about the children touching or whining all the time.

Original poster
Nih · 30/08/2023 19:48

aspirationalflamingo · 30/08/2023 19:45

I assume you would happily pay for anything your children broke?

Of course, wouldn't the vast majority of people?

OP posts:
Beaverbridge · 30/08/2023 19:50

@saraclara Totally agree with you. One near me had Primark flats marked at £6.50. I said to the boy at till those retail new for £4. Not that he could care, he told me he was a student, says it looks good on cv, s. Nice lad. Others act like they are running Harrods.

Original poster
Nih · 30/08/2023 19:54

ChuckMater · 30/08/2023 19:47

A charity shop I visit regularly (normally child free) actively encouraged my children to play with the toys when I took them in last. They said the parents are able to have a better look and more like to buy things if they aren't having to worry about the children touching or whining all the time.

I love this and ofc they're spot on.

I'm able to leisurely browse my locals as the children are happily distracted by the toys. I buy more and treat them to a toy too - good result for the charity.

Attitudes like the woman I encounter today will only lose sales and thus money for the charity they're raising for. I wanted to look at the dress section and had a generous budget to treat myself with hence venturing to a more well heeled area. I couldn't get out of there quick enough after the way she spoke to DD. Their loss.

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 30/08/2023 19:54

I used to go to a charity shop with tons of toys loose everywhere they let the kids play with them because they would get attached and then the parents would buy them so they could leave without tears the children would also without fail tidy up any toys they didn't want one word from the manager and they tidied up we joked we needed to hire him out at bedtime because all the village children obeyed him without question he even gave credit to the regular patrons and no-one ever didn't pay him it was the most popular shop around and made a lot of money

AllOfThemWitches · 30/08/2023 19:55

I mean, I touch the clothes. YANBU.

mandymion · 30/08/2023 19:55

I would honestly complain to the manager or head office. Attitudes like this are so unfriendly and would put me off shopping in there any more!