Husband says I’ve signed over the house to him without me knowing

[InternetSafe]

My husband often jokes that he has tricked me into signing the house over to him. He has said it for years. It’s really tedious but last night he said it again and added ‘check the deeds’. We paid off our home about 10 years ago and it is quite a valuable property for our area.

There have been occasions when I am busy working and he has put papers in front of me and asked me to sign so he can get them in the post (mainly to do with correspondence to our accountant for example).

But this is not possible surely? I mean as a married couple I am entitled to half anyway aren’t I? He is playing mind games with me and I’m not sure what to believe anymore

Wtf is wrong with him? Do you really want to be with a twat like this, even if he was joking it's just weird!! I've got a horrible feeling he's not joking though?

Make sure you check the deeds, easy to get a mate to witness the signature later.

What did the deeds show you?

You are married, assets are 50/50!
Any inheritance also included

Funnily enough I don’t feel much concern from this thread with regards to my mental health, so I’m not sure there’s much point in posting further.

the vast majority of comments are rude and unnecessary, but this seems to be the norm on this website.

First a joke erm doesn't sound like a joke when said time and again. Second how stupid to sign anything from anyone without checking first. Third check the deeds

So you're still not going to say whether he has tricked you? Because anyone who was unscrupulous enough to try that trick would also fake witnesses and/or get witnesses to sign at a separate time. Sounds far-fetched? This exact thing happened to a close relative - her husband was remortgaging repeatedly without her knowledge. When he died she was left with nothing, he'd maxed out the equity on their house.

Errrr. OK then OP. In the main, the comments you've had on this thread are not rude but highly concerned that your husband thinks this sort of 'joke' is acceptable and seems to enjoy toying with you in this way. If you'd rather not hear that and you're happy putting up with and defending his behaviour, I wish you all the best.

I don't know why anyone else is bothering to post unless asking for the outcome. Had the husband changed the deeds or not? OP hasn't told us yet (unless I've missed it!).

It sounds like he didn't.

Yes from the witness, but not stated it clearly.

No they haven’t been changed

I am very pleased for you that he hasn't done anything dodgy but I think the fact that you were worried enough that he might have done for you to check is worrying in and of itself.

I'm happy he hasn't actually done this to you, your post was really worrying. Now you've checked and have some peace maybe time to have a sit down talk with him about how his "jokes" caused you so much worry you had to seek support and advice and check the deeds to your own house to make sure he hadn't committed fraud! If he apologises and stops the jokes then it's worth the talk and things can get better for you with the stress gone. If he mocks you for having to check I'd be worried about lack of care and respect in my marriage and then I guess you have to decide if counselling or separating is right. I am sorry he's made you feel so worried.

Thank you for the update, @InternetSafe. I am glad to know that the deeds have not been changed. I hope you are all right, it sounds as if you are at the end of your tether nonetheless. Perhaps you should indeed do as a previous poster suggested and sign up for the property alert page: www.gov.uk/guidance/property-alert#how-it-works for your peace of mind. I did it ages ago as I had been scammed on a smaller scale by someone supposedly trustworthy, and it cost me thousands to sort out, so being advised that there has been no change to the deeds of my property every six months is really reassuring!

I'm glad it was ok in the end, that was a very worrying thought. Now make sure he's distracted when he's signing the divorce papers!

Well done OP. He sounds awful though and you can do better! Run like the wind!

I hope you’re ok OP, how are things in your relationship generally? How are you feeling about everything? Hoping you have someone in real life you can talk through things with. If not maybe make a new post on the relationships board (much lovelier place to be), and we can all help you sort through your feelings and what it is that you’re wanting there?

I agree with this, and would reiterate that you should sign up for the property alerter service.

This is the kind of joke my dad makes with my mum as a bit of a way of nagging her to read what she's signing more carefully. "For all you know, you could have just signed the house over to me". In fact I think I've even said the same thing to my dh before, who also doesn't read stuff before signing it.

But making the same joke repeatedly would have me suspicious so I would be checking out of curiosity

Just seen your update, glad he hasn't done it but I'd definitely start reading what you're signing and tell him that he had you genuinely worried and that jokes like that are just not funny

@InternetSafe this is good advice.

Any transfer of property title needs to be registered with the Land Registry but the Land Registry also has massive delays. If something untoward has been done it might not show up for a while. So signing up for an alert for any changes might give some peace of mind.

He is testing you. You say mind games, so think that through a bit:

If you don’t check, you continue to feel anxious, which he enjoys.

If you do check, and he hasn’t done it, then you feel stupid, which he enjoys. He is able to mock you for not being able to take a joke, and feign feeling hurt, making you feel guilty for not trusting him…which he enjoys.

Either way, he gets enjoyment from you suffering.

Best case scenario in my view is you DO check, and he HAS done it, which means you have black and white evidence of what he is, and a half decent lawyer ensures that you still get half YOUR marital asset when (ideally) you divorce him.

Sounds like he’s been abusing you and eroding your confidence for a long time. The Freedom Project will help you. He’s a cunt.

Thank you. I’m ok. My husband has always had a weird sense of humour and it seems to be getting worse lately as he has a couple of health concerns which is also effecting him mentally. Rather than being typically depressed, it’s made him more sarcastic and what he calls ‘jovial’, normally this is not a problem as I know him so well, but I was second guessing lately as maybe I’m not in a great place myself.

I did sit him down and he said ‘do you ever think I would do anything like that? You are the most important person in my life and I love you more than anything’. This did make me feel better, but he can’t seem to get past this sarcasm and ‘jokes’.