Am I one of the few people who doesn't believe in looks fading?

[Pizzahut345]

See it mentioned all the time on here 'looks will fade as you get older' 'people lose their looks'.
It's incessant. Apparently everyone under 30 is walking around with this undeniable glow, looking effortlessly stunning. I don't think so.
I see so many women over 40 who look beautiful, stunning. They look older, they clearly aren't 25 anymore, but they aren't any less attractive. Why would they be?
Ok, maybe if you're fortunate enough to make it to say, 95, you will likely look a lot different. You can still be beautiful though. I care for a 98 year old lady and she still has the same beautiful smile and twinkly eyes I see when I look at younger photos of her. I'm sure her health is her main concern though.
But there are women even in their 70s who still look stunning and attractive. So what if they've had work done to achieve that? People in their 20s get work done too sometimes to achieve their looks.
I think the whole looks will fade thing is heavily biased towards women, it's sexist and ageist.
I know in terms of men's attraction to young women, it's linked to looking, and being fertile. But if men don't want me because I'm not in my 20s or 30s then those are not men I want in my life.

How old are you? I'm mid 40's and yes looks fade. I was smoking hot in my 20's and early 40's, after having children, divorces and other worries responsibilities I don't have that glow I had, my body is not the same as before either.

Not everybody can spend money on beauty. Some have bills, children etc

I 100% agree. In general, looks don't fade - just the bloom of youth fades.

I'm 51 now and recently had a 30 year college reunion. The people who were deemed good-looking when we were in college, are still good-looking 50-year olds (both men and women).

Someone like George Clooney is good-looking, even though he is not young. Caludia Schieffer was recently in the news - she looks great in her 50s.

Generally good-looking young people become good-looking old people.

You don't see men of any age chatting up and asking out women offline. Dating is nearly all online these days. And of course the younger the man is, the more true that is.

And certainly there are young men out there looking for serious relationships with older women. But the point is that there are many, many younger men who find older women sexy and attractive. Which was the point I was making in my response.

To clarify, I don't think any of us in the college reunion look better at 50 than we did at 20. But in a group of other 50-year old peers, compared to other 50-year olds, they are still the most attractive ones.

At 20, I wouldn't have found a 50-year old attractive. Now I'm 50, I see lots of attractive 50-year olds.

I disagree. Society, sadly, values a youthful look and that does fade. The attention that people get for being pretty in their 20s and 30s will stop as they get older. Even if they are a good looking 40/50/60+ year old, society just doesn’t place the same value on it.

Also looks are subjective. Just because someone thinks you’re a pretty 20something doesn’t mean they will think the same when you’re 50something.

What’s wrong with it all is that good looks get any value put on them at all.

Not sure many 50+women are that interested in dating a 20 something man either.. I expect most 18 year olds wouldn't date someone in their late 20s either .. I personally wouldn't have anything in common with someone decades younger or older than myself, what I find attractive at 50 plus is very different to what I found attractive at 20 - I did online dating at 50 and had some lovely dates with some very attractive men around my own age (they obviously found me attractive too) I also had attention from much younger men too but I actually didn't fancy them enough to pursue anything regardless of their level of seriousness!

I certainly agree OP, but not in terms of sexual attractiveness, which it appears many of this thread are talking about.

I appreciate that as a species we are programmed to find youth attractive in common with many animals who are essentially looking to procreate.

Arguably, we have involved to see beyond reproduction as our sole purpose ...

Sorry, lost my train of thought there but I have to say that one of the most beautiful people I have seen in the last few years was an elderly volunteer at my DD's girl guides, who must be well into her 80s. She is tiny and clearly looks her age IYSWIM (in terms of fashion and posture), but she has the most beautiful face. She has such amazing bone structure and luminous complexion and wonderfully sparkly eyes. I actually couldn't stop looking at her the first time we met. I'm not sure what she looked like as a young woman but she is absolutely beautiful now.

I agree, but I think it will change, cosmetic surgery is going to cause issues, I think. So many young women are doing untold damage to their faces by getting procedures done. Some celebrities look really odd, where as they were so stunning before they had any procedures done, and now they have a weird waxy shiny skin, and hollowed out cheeks which make them look like they're suffering from consumption or other illness. Where as natural beauty never disappears.

+1

I'm fifty and my absolute lower age limit would be something like 38-40, more likely 45. I'm sure there are plenty of lovely 25-30 year old men, but I'm not attracted to them.

Couldn't agree more. Women get grey hair and wrinkles and it's bad, we should dye our hair and get Botox. Men age and they are silver foxes......all wrong

I don’t agree, Grey hair is lauded now, dyeing is a choice women make. No one makes them. No one forces Botox. In fact it’s more younger women who do it.

and few men turn into silver foxes. Men also dye their hair, but generally they just bald, get paunchy etc.

Similar! About 40 is my lower limit and late 50s my upper- I’m 47- any younger than about 40 whilst I can see the beauty of their relative youth, that’s just visual and it’s unlikely that the underneath would be as appealing. Cultural references would be all weird, there’d be a big gap in both of our understanding of the others’ social experiences and who wants to spend their time explaining why “Bobbb- that’s an unusual name for a girl” is funny

But this is all supposing that beauty is about being sexually appealing. Beauty is in everything, if people could just look beyond sex. It’s such a narrow view to think that to be beautiful equates to being sexually attractive. Children can be beautiful but they aren’t sexually attractive- nobody has a problem with suggesting that a child can be beautiful so why not someone in their 90s? So strange.

The slightly comment is key here.

It's common for people just starting to experience signs of aging to either shrug it off or fight it off with some botox or skin care (which works at this stage), and congratulate themselves for not worrying and/or beating it - "What are older people so worried about, this isn't so bad?"

But it's different when you actually get a lot older and you don't really look like yourself anymore.

I think it depends - if we're talking about being sexually attractive then age is definitely a key factor. If we're talking beauty, then YANBU, people can be beautiful at all ages.

100 per cent agree

I disagree again, most people define sexually attractive in their own demographic. And that can be to very elderly. As in a 70 year old fancies those 60s up. A 40 year old 30s up. Seldom does a 40 year old fancy a 70 year old. Although of course often the reverse they do, doesn’t mean they don’t fancy their own age range

Julianne Moore is someone who I think has become more beautiful with age. She’s a Hollywood actress so obviously there’s a high chance she’s had a few tweaks along the way, but she looks pretty natural to me.

She’s just so much more eye-catching to me as a 60-something than she was in her 30s.

I see what you mean but I can see people who've changed from 20s to 50s, and I don't think they're any less appealing at all.

At 20, I wouldn't have found a 50-year old attractive. Now I'm 50, I see lots of attractive 50-year olds.

I'm a football fan and often drooled over the players as a young woman. Now, approaching 47, I drool over the managers.

Yes exactly, it's all relative with age. I used to fancy 16-20 year olds. Now they look like teens. (well they are) at 60 I'll probably think men in their 20s and 30s look like young boys!

Off topic but people who've had these school/college reunions - were they arranged by the schools or between you? I've never heard of anyone I know going to such a thing but I'd love to go to one!

I didn’t have a glow until my 30s. My skin was ruined by acne in my teens, plus I had a big round face, even though I wasn’t fat.

In my 20s I had two small children and a horrid marriage, plus my fashion sense appeared to be expelled along with my placenta.

I came into my own in my 30s, and feel great now I’m approaching my 50s.

It’s never too late to get your glow on!

I was the same. I can see how young I looked in my 20s, my face was so round. But I also had terrible acne, and I've since had a nose job (didn't like my side profile) and braces. Also grown my hair out and my skin has cleared.
Feel much better now in 30s. Still feel so young mentally though, definitely not living the 'typical' life of others my age!
My aunt is 58 and she looks fantastic. I think she has had some procedures as she can certainly afford it but she still wears bikinis with confidence, her jawline is still pretty firm. My mother at 56 still looks lovely too. She has a few lines of course but she styles herself well, dresses 'younger'. I'm sure they're considered appealing by men, maybe not 20 year old men (though who knows!) But those closer in age.

I personally do think looks to fade. I'm almost 40, my looks have definitely faded slightly but I still look relatively well. I think some people look beautiful young as well old - their looks fade but they are more attractive than average. On the other end of the spectrum there are people who look dramatically different from when they were young - they may have been beautiful or average. I think it depends on how you age. Some people look older but don't get wrinkles. Whereas other people tend get wrinkles. My parents and grandparents look older but they don't look wrinkly. They pretty much look the same as they did when they were young.