Am I one of the few people who doesn't believe in looks fading?

[Pizzahut345]

See it mentioned all the time on here 'looks will fade as you get older' 'people lose their looks'.
It's incessant. Apparently everyone under 30 is walking around with this undeniable glow, looking effortlessly stunning. I don't think so.
I see so many women over 40 who look beautiful, stunning. They look older, they clearly aren't 25 anymore, but they aren't any less attractive. Why would they be?
Ok, maybe if you're fortunate enough to make it to say, 95, you will likely look a lot different. You can still be beautiful though. I care for a 98 year old lady and she still has the same beautiful smile and twinkly eyes I see when I look at younger photos of her. I'm sure her health is her main concern though.
But there are women even in their 70s who still look stunning and attractive. So what if they've had work done to achieve that? People in their 20s get work done too sometimes to achieve their looks.
I think the whole looks will fade thing is heavily biased towards women, it's sexist and ageist.
I know in terms of men's attraction to young women, it's linked to looking, and being fertile. But if men don't want me because I'm not in my 20s or 30s then those are not men I want in my life.

What a lovely thread!

I agree, OP

I'm 46 and feeling fabulous! I love being older; I'm more confident, have more time and money to spend on clothes and having my hair done, and also refuse to take crap from anyone! Love it!

Your opinion demonstrates that you personally don't apply sexist standards as you think that men also become less attractive with age. However, our male dominated society as a whole strongly resists admitting that. Which is why older men think they're entitled to younger partners, why older male actors continue to be in lead roles, but with a much younger female co star, why we have the (rare as hens teeth) silver fox stereotype that has no female equivalent, and why women come onto threads about age and tell us 'men age better than we do'. A quick look around in public tells you what nonsense this is, but the belief is ingrained amongst some nonetheless.

I'm losing my looks as I get older. I don't mind at all. I still have my confidence, my health and my sanity.
Looking around I would say most of those I went to school with are losing theirs too. Men and women. They don't seem bothered either, still living their usual lives.

I think they do fade. Yes older people can of course still be beautiful/ attractive/ whatever you want to say. My great gran lived until 96 and was beautiful then, but I have seen pics of her when she was in her 20s and she was stunning. Same as my Gran, she only lived to her early 70s and was a beautiful, elegant woman, who dressed well and looked very well (not 'just for her age') but to see pics of her when she got married/ met my Grandad she could have been 'on the silver screen'

I'm mid 30s now. I think my style/ hair/ make up and confidence are 100x better now. But I was certainly more attractive when I was younger. People commented on it a lot back then, I just didn't really believe them.

I think people are equating beauty to having plump skin and a firm jawline in a lot of cases. There are treatments to improve jawline sagging, yes we shouldn't have to resort to that, but if it really bothers someone, there are treatments.

I suppose some of it is down to luck and genetics too. I know of many 60+ women who still have very thick hair in excellent condition. Or you can have fried, damaged hair in your 20s and for it to be bald and thinning through extensions.
I think Carol Vorderman in her 60s looks very attractive, yes I know she's had work done, but I can see how a lot of men would still find her sexually appealing, and she's clearly still having a lot of fun dating.

I have seen Helen mirren in real life. As in a few feet away and no crowd. I was able to observe for a few mins. She was without much make up, hair done naturally, casually dressed.

she is tiny in real life, very slim, she’s only 5ft3, she is attractive, but she does not look as glowy/polished as the red carpet or photo shoot images we see.

is she average for a woman nearing 80. No she’s not. Not even close. And that’s because she has maintained her muscle mass, obvs through exercise, her teeth and hair are great and clearly takes good care of her skin and dresses very well, even in casual moments.

does she look her age, yes in that range roughly, maybe a bit younger , ie early 70s, but she embraces age, rather than hides from it.

I wouldn’t say at all her looks faded with age, I’d say she is still attractive, but she’s obviously put in a lot of effort for that, through hair, exercise, nutrition, teeth, skin care and clothing etc

I agree too.

I've maintained my looks and figure. Yes it takes effort but I enjoy doing so.

No I don't look 24 but I look as good as I can and I'm sometimes in the company of young and very beautiful women and obviously can't compete with them looks wise but I also don't want to have to feel I have to sit in the corner like a lump.

I'm in my 50s and plenty of men in their 20s and 30s message me and want to date me.

A lot of young men are interested in and attracted to older women.

I think silver fox actors and celebrities are their own category and really not the norm.

Look in any village pub and it's full of lonely, older men who have "let themselves go" if you forgive the phrase. They sit alone and talk to each other from separate tables. No one is tempted to draw near. The women of a similar age dress well, look happy and friendly, look after themselves through exercise etc, are approachable through their vitality and vivacity.

I'm sure there are stats that say there are more lonely older men than lonely older women. I don't just mean romantic attraction.

With the likes of Carol, Elle Macpherson and others their styling has improved with age. Same with Victoria Beckham (even though she is so slim!)

Couldn't agree more!
My mum is beautiful, has always been acknowledged for being attractive and she's now 74 and still absolutely radiant!

I cannot sgree
very few people look better at 40 than they did at 21 or 25
hubby and his buddies often laugh at themselves saying that they have less hair and more wrinkles as they get older
the certainly don’t think it only applies to women

I often think that men who want a much younger woman are also looking for someone with fewer boundaries, someone they can essentially mould and manipulate.

There's different related questions here. If by 'attractive' you mean beautiful, then I think that people hold onto that throughout their lives. If we mean something like sexually or romantically attractive, I think that younger people are more attractive.

So much attraction is context relative anyway. I'm the same age as you and do not find anyone above the age of 40 attractive, nor anyone below the age of 25. When I was 15, I didn't fancy anyone odler than late 20s.

At least, I think it's just easier to be beautiful or attractive when you're younger. When I was 18 I never wore make up, I could throw on any combination of clothes and essentially look great. Same goes for most 18 year olds. Now in my 30s, I need to sleep well and wash my hair to look decent. It's not that I'm ugly, I'm just normal and unnoticeable. I'm ok with that.

I don't think I've seen evidence that 'It's commonly agreed' that men suddenly lose their looks at a specific age.
But regardless, I think the point is people don't judge men by their youthfulness or lack of it the way they judge women.

I don't think looks fade. You still have the same bone structure, face shape etc just a few more wrinkles. I think people sometimes chose to put in less effort than they used to maybe because they feel more secure in their looks or relationship or just don't have time but I don't think those things make someone more beautiful, they can enhance beauty but don't make someone beautiful.

Someone might have already said this but it is because beauty is being equated to youth. If beauty = youth, we can only look beautiful if we look young. If we take youth out of the equation and have a standard for being beautiful that is based on something else then we can all be beautiful.

I think perhaps women only realise this when they are past their youthful good looks and so it comes across as jealousy when what we really want to be judged for is all the other things we know make people beautiful. It's one of those things that is entirely lost on the young. There are things that I find beautiful about myself now that I didn't even have when I was younger- the skin on my face has a different colour about it now for example that means I go without foundation and it's delightful. Would not have considered doing this in my 30's but now approaching 50 it makes me look so much more healthy. And my body is softer- it feels nicer to touch.

I agree with you @Pizzahut345.

I agree OP!!

I'm 47 and overweight with definite lack of confidence in my appearance but 2 separate single men at work in their early 30s try to flirt with me and I've noticed that they're not so flirty with the other women... and I dont encourage it!

Even if nothing comes of it, it makes my day brighter as I'm having a really crap time in my life at present.

Helen Mirren looks amazing, but are you really trying to say she looked worse in her 20s and 30s?

She did. I watched her interview with Parkinson and she was nowhere near as attractive then as she is now. She quite plain when she was young.

Completely agree.

I don’t agree it’s just women. When I look up celebrities I used to fancy back in the day I am always disappointed in what they look like now! But cosmetic surgery makes it worse - Simon Cowell, despite his questionable personality always had the loveliest smile. But now he’s had CS he just looks weird. As does Madonna. She was pretty when younger and would still look pretty as a 65 year old if she hadn’t had CS. I often think that the thing about someone’s appearance they’re not happy with is the most beautiful thing about them.

No disrespect to 18 year olds, but the number who can throw on any combination of clothes and look great is small. Some 18 year olds with very pretty faces, lovely hair and nice figures, absolutely. But in truth, those so blessed are actually a minority. Just as they were when I was 18, when most of us were really rather ordinary looking, and unless we 'made an effort' with grooming and clothes, would have blended into the scenery just as much as older women feel they do.

You mention messaging so I assume you're talking about online?

That's a slightly different kettle of fish when you're looking at photos, or scrolling through 100s of would be people to date.

I can't see many young men in their 20s who are serious about dating, chatting 50+ year old women up in real life with a view to having a relationship.